Two Sides to the Story

The Power of Unified Worship

How good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity. When we come together as believers, this is not just religion or an experience—Jesus meets us in this place. He promised: "Wherever two or three come together in my name, I show up and I meet them there." We are a true church: real, transparent, and unedited.

Building Requires More Than Construction

We are in the Build series, and as we build, we are building who we are, building our discernment, and building our perspectives. One of the critical lessons is this: you must divorce the idea that your way is the only truth. We are passionate people, and we lock onto our beliefs like a pitbull—even when they are wrong.

It is hard to grow up and realize that some of what you have always believed was never true. There are coming-to-Jesus moments where you swore someone was the best person in your life, only to discover they had a history, too. When we are willing to challenge our own perspective, we grow in understanding and discernment.

Perspective, by definition, is the capacity to view things in their true relations and relative importance—being able to see things for what they truly are. An author named Michael Patterniti said: "In the end it wasn't so much that there was an alternative narrative. There always was but it came down to belief. Which one did you want to believe? Which version of the story suited you best? Or perhaps more to the point, which one told the story you were already telling yourself."

Often we listen to stories just to confirm what we already believe. The moment someone offers something contradictory, we shut it down—not because it is false, but because it challenges what we have already chosen to believe.

The Fight That Comes With Progress

We find this dynamic in Scripture. In Nehemiah 6:17, it says: "During those 52 days, many letters went back and forth between Tobiah and the nobles of Judah." The entire time Nehemiah was building, he was also fighting. There was never a time where he was allowed to rest.

Just because you decide to take a day off does not mean the enemy will take a day off. You must remain prayerful. The enemy is banking on your fatigue. He knows that at some point you will get tired, and that is exactly when he knocks on your door—the one day you decided not to put your armor on, the one day you decided to stop praying.

Read the Bible: it was the one day David decided not to fight that he fell into the worst mistake of his life. Your progress will always be fought whenever you are trying to build. If you are trying to build a new life coming out of an old lifestyle, your progress will be fought. If you are stepping into ministry, the enemy will not sit idly by while you snatch people out of his kingdom. If you are trying to build a godly relationship God's way, the enemy will fight you tooth and nail.

I learned in my own life that my biggest fights came when I needed rest the most. The enemy is strategic. He does not fight you at your strongest. He waits until maybe a month or two after your 21-day fast, when you have kicked your shoes off and relaxed. That is when he shows up—in a blind side, trying to catch you on your day off.

The Danger of Hidden Alliances

Here is where it becomes critical. In verse 18: "For many in Judah have sworn allegiance to him [Tobiah]." Let me give you the backstory on Tobiah. He used to be just a servant boy. Tobiah was not born into money; he had to work his way to the top. This made him highly influential because of his humble beginnings.

Then he got smarter. He married an Israelite daughter, and his son married one of the daughters of Meselum—one of the main builders of the wall who worked with Nehemiah. Even though he was their enemy, he was connected to them by marriage.

This is why the family of who you marry matters. The family you marry into can bring problems that have nothing to do with you. Nehemiah was fighting not because he did something bad, but because his people decided to marry into broken families.

Marrying into the wrong family will have you fighting demons that did not come from your bloodline and did not come from your ancestral lineage. Some of the stuff you have been fighting did not come from your family. Some of it came from the family of the person you decided to love. Some of the stuff you are fighting in your kids did not come from your bloodline—it came from the ancestral lineage of the partner you slept with.

When we do not understand the value of this, we keep thinking it is just about arousal and sex and intimacy. But some stuff is the enemy trying to get a covenant with you through who you lay with. You think it is all fun and games, and then you are having dreams where you cannot breathe, where you cannot move, and stuff is fighting against your home. It is who you have a covenant with.

Because of this family relationship, Tobiah started to intermingle with the Israelites: "I am one of y'all. We are family." And these people swore allegiance to Tobiah because of his family connection. When you are with somebody, you swear to their family. You swear allegiance. Sometimes they will make you want to put down your family for theirs if you are not careful.

These were people who at one point were on Nehemiah's side, but now they have pledged their allegiance to the man trying to destroy him. Nehemiah's fight came from people who were his partners. Nehemiah is on the wall telling Tobiah, "I cannot come down. I am doing a great work." His partners are right there saying, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, stay up there, Nehemiah." But Nehemiah does not know that the people helping him have a partnership with the person trying to kill him.

The Inside Attack

When the enemy cannot get you from the outside, he tries to use someone from the inside. It is an inside job. He tries to use somebody from the inside because he knows you are closed off. You do not let a lot of people in. You stick to your circle. But sometimes the enemy tries to use what is closest to you.

When the enemy could not get to Adam, he said, "What is the one person Adam would die for? Let me go to Eve, because I know he loves her and I know I cannot get his attention. So I am going to go to the person that he loves."

Ain't it crazy that the craziest fights in your life usually come from people you love and people you brought close to you and people from whom you would have never imagined a sword coming? Proverbs 18:24 backs this up: "There are friends who destroy one another, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother."

You can have people in your corner and they are the ones holding you back. The very people you have sworn allegiance to and made your ace are the ones stopping your progress. It is Nehemiah's friends, his partners. They built the wall with him, and now they have sworn their allegiance to his enemy.

Two Contradictory Truths

In verse 19: "They kept telling me about Tobiah's good deeds. And then they told him everything I said. And Tobiah kept sending threatening letters to intimidate me."

To many people, Tobiah was a good man. He was a good man. He did good things. They saw him serve in the community. They saw him work. But to Nehemiah, Tobiah was a demonic force.

Can two contradicting things be true? Can two things that are the opposite be true at the same time? They are at complete opposite ends of the spectrum, but both people are having a real experience.

Proverbs 18:17 explains it this way: "The first to speak in court sounds right until the cross-examination begins." The person giving the first argument sounds extremely convincing based on the facts they have presented. But when the cross-examination comes, it seems as if they also have facts that are contradictory to the first argument. Can both of these be true?

In psychology, this is known as dialectics. Dialectics are two opposing things being true at once—otherwise known as true contradictions. You can be an amazing human in one person's story while being the trauma in somebody else's.

Some people know you as amazing. You have done great things. You are so good to the people. But then there are some people who, if asked about you, would say you are not amazing at all. You would be the bad person in their story. You would be the villain. You would be the one they are asking God to help them forgive.

Here is the reality: both of these can be true. You could have given your best and still it was not good enough. Both things can be true.

Romans 7:21 explains it this way: "So I find this law at work. Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me."

Just because you had good intentions does not mean they had a good experience. The world is filled with good intentions. But even while intending to be good, you still can cause some harm. Many people do not plan to have a car crash, but irresponsible driving and texting has made them damage somebody else. Though you may be a good person, you still have caused some real damage.

You Are Not All Good

I am trying to help you mature because you have married a belief system about yourself, and it is stopping your growth. I am not saying you are all bad. I am saying you are a child of God. I am saying you love God for real. But while loving God for real, you still can be missing some of the things God wants you to grow in.

I had to learn in my life that some of the same people who hurt me helped somebody else. And some of the same people that hurt you have been a really good help to somebody else. I know it is hard for you to give God glory for this because you have made this narrative in your mind that the person you are hurt with and angry with is all bad. But how is that possible when you are not all good?

Mark 10:18: "Why do you call me good?" Jesus asked. "Only God is truly good." What does that mean? If you are living in this flesh, you also have a propensity to do something wrong sometimes. Though you may be good to a lot of people, please know you have also been the villain in somebody's story. You have been the rude person. You have been the one who cut somebody off. You have been the one with an attitude problem. You have hurt somebody. You also have been the one who is bad in their story.

While you are sitting right here struggling to forgive somebody, please know that somebody is struggling to forgive you. They are having a hard time watching you in church praising God, knowing what you did to them. But you have got to learn to release it: "Whatever I was is not who I am. I have learned to let it go, and I have learned to let you go, too."

It is two sides to the story. Two sides to the story. And none of us are all good. None of us are all good.

Even me included. That is why we like having real church, because ain't none of us all good. If you are living in this flesh, you need grace too. You need forgiveness too. You need to repent too. You need Jesus too. You need to be baptized in the Holy Spirit too. All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, even you. None of us are all good.

If none of us are all good, that means you are one mistake away from being the villain in somebody's story. You are one bad day away from being the villain in somebody's story. You are only good to those who have experienced you as such.

You cannot marry the idea, "I know I am a good person." No. Ask people: "Who do you say I am?" Jesus walked his disciples right into this question. He said, "When y'all go out into the marketplace, what are people saying about me? Everybody has something to say." They said various things—some said you are John the Baptist, some said you are Jeremiah. He said, "Oh, really? And what do y'all say?"

Only Peter had a come. Only Peter said, "You are the Christ, the son of the living God." But Peter had experienced him as the Christ. He saw him as a glorified Jesus. You are only good to those who have experienced you.

Let me tell you this: there are not as many people defending your character as you think. You assume that people believe you are good. But the reality of human nature is that we are all looking at one another saying, "I do not know about them." Something comes out bad about somebody and right away you say, "You know what, my spirit always felt that. I always knew something was not right." Because we know there are always two sides to every story.

Jealousy, Selfishness, and the Demonic

In verse 19 again: "They kept telling me about Tobiah's good deeds. And so they told him everything that I said. They are going back and forth playing no-knock double agent. They are coming to me talking about his side, but then going to him talking about my side. And Tobiah kept sending threatening letters to intimidate me."

Pay attention to what is happening here. Tobiah is constantly sending threatening letters while doing good works for other people. Even though Tobiah was successful, he still felt threatened by Nehemiah's success. There are people who will have more than you and still be intimidated by what God put on you.

You probably do not even have anything yet. All you have got is a prophecy and a dream. All you have got is that God showed you that one day he is going to use you to set the captives free. Even though you do not have anything physically, your anointing is visible and tangible. And so they can have success but be intimidated by what they see in the spirit on you.

We see this in the story of Saul and David. All David did was fight one battle and the people started screaming his praise. Even though Saul was the king, he became intimidated by young David because he saw there was an anointing on David. Sometimes the gatekeepers are only trying to keep you out because they know if you get up in here, you have got more than what they have got on you. They know God put more on you than what he put on them.

What if I told you some of the gatekeepers are actually secretly afraid? They are secretly afraid knowing that if you stepped fully into what God has for you, that you would be a beast in the calling God has on your life. It comes from selfish ambition.

In James 3:14, the Bible says: "But if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart..." Please understand this: because a lot of times you cannot see the jealousness and the selfishness from the outside. That thing hides deep in the heart. They can be right there next to you—jealous and selfish—because it is never exposed on the outside. That thing knows how to hide deep on the inside.

The verse continues: "don't cover it up or cover up the truth with boasting and lying." When somebody is jealous and selfish, the Bible exposes to us that many insecure people try to use bragging about their accomplishments to cover up jealousy. The moment God starts to elevate you, they will start throwing out their accomplishments: "I have served in ministry. I have got this. I know what I am doing. I have walked with you like..." All you said was that God is using you right now. You did not come against any way God has used them. You are brand new at this thing. You are just happy that God saw you fit to even use you.

They will use bragging to cover up their jealousy. Sometimes people are successful and still jealous because they want to be the only one in the story. They do not want to share the glory. I love elevating other people because the moment you start getting stingy with the glory, you are moving into the devil's territory.

James 3:15 says: "For jealousy and selfishness are not God's kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic."

You cannot say you are following the Holy Spirit and you are jealous. You cannot say you are following the Holy Spirit and you are selfish. It is not even you. You are actually operating in the demonic. The moment you get selfish, you are operating in the demonic.

Verse 16 closes it out: "For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind."

Wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, you will always find disorder and evil of every kind. You have to be careful to make sure that you are not so stuck on your calling that you start causing disorder. If all you are thinking about is yourself, you are actually operating in selfishness. And the moment you start operating in selfishness, the enemy is like, "Perfect. I got you," because that is where he paralyzes your authority.

We see this in the story of Job. The Bible says: as long as Job thought about himself, he stayed sick. He stayed broke. He stayed in poverty. God would not turn his situation. It was not until Job prayed for his friends. When he finally got his eyes off himself, that God started to turn his situation.

Maybe things have not turned around for you because God knows all you are thinking about is yourself—your calling, your purpose, your money, your family, what you want God to do. But God is saying, "No, when you get your eyes off of you and get your eyes on the kingdom, then I can finally put some stuff in your hands. I can finally trust you."

When your eyes come off yourself, sometimes you are so focused on ourselves that you did not recognize you became demonic. God had to show me that many of us right now do not notice. We can think that we are building the kingdom and what we are actually doing is building our own castle in his kingdom. The moment you start talking about yourself, you forget that Jesus actually was the one that paid the price and that he was the one that gave the call. You would be nothing had Jesus not put something on your life.

Please do not get it twisted. You are not that important. Even me—I am nothing without his hand literally carrying me into what he has called me to do. And maybe just challenge yourself this year: "Man, can I take some of the blame? Because the people who hurt me, they probably really did. But man, I probably hurt some people, too. And maybe I can forgive a little bit easier if I can just remember: God, I needed you to forgive me for the people that I hurt. I cannot ask you to punish them, but give me grace."

I cannot say, "God, get them, but do not get me." No. If I am asking for grace for me, God, I am praying for grace for them. If I am asking for mercy for me, God, I am giving mercy to them. If I am asking for a second chance for me, then God, give a second chance to them.

The Prayer

God, we know that there are two sides to the story. And my prayer today, God, is that we will not get so stuck in selfishness and selfish ambition that we become demonic where the enemy can actually use us for evil because all we think about is ourselves.

I pray, God, that as you challenge our perspective today, that we would learn to say: "Lord, show us ourselves." The old song we sing: "It's me, it's me. It's me, oh Lord standing in the need of prayer."

This time I am not praying about my mom or my dad or my sister or my brother or my enemy or my hater or my opposer. This time I am talking about myself—that I need to be the one that is better and stop being selfish and so focused on what I want or jealous of other people. Let me be grateful for where you have me today. Let me appreciate what you have put in my hands. Let me be grateful for where you have called me to stand. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.