"If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross and follow me."

Understanding the Cross

What did Jesus mean? The cross is the place where Jesus died—where he paid the price and suffered terrible things. And what does he ask of us? We embrace it. We deny our own way of thinking and embrace the fact that Jesus suffered and died for us.

Peter was saying, "We don't want that. We don't want you to suffer terrible things." But Jesus said you must deny that thinking. Accept that I will suffer and die for you, and then live by that knowledge all the days of your life. Take your cross.

Many times we think the cross is merely where we suffer, where things happen to us. But the cross is the place where everything is nailed—where our own way, our own thinking, our own desires are put to death. The foremost cross is the cross of Jesus Christ. We have been called to no other thing but that cross.

Radical commitment becomes possible when you live with the cross in your life every day. When you consider that terrible things were laid on Jesus for your sake. When you consider that he paid a price out of the depth of his love for you. When you refuse to think your own way but instead think Jesus's way—knowing that he voluntarily suffered terrible things for your sake.

In Mark 8:32-34, the same story is told. After Peter had reprimanded Jesus and Jesus had corrected him, he called the crowd to join his disciples and gave them the same standard of followership:

"If any of you wants to join this group that are going along with me wherever I go, you must give up your own way. You must take up your cross and you must follow me."

The choice of radical discipleship is this: knowing that Jesus suffered terrible things for you, embracing that cross, and carrying it all the days of your life. It means knowing that you are so deeply loved that he will voluntarily suffer terrible things for your sake.

The New Commandment: Love One Another

The Foundation of Discipleship

Last week we began to talk about discipleship and love. After telling the disciples what true followers would look like, Jesus gave them a specific commandment—not just the general laws given through Moses and the prophets, but a new commandment for those who follow him.

In John 13:34-35, Jesus said:

"A new commandment I give you, that you love one another just as I have loved you. You also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples if you have love one for another."

Jesus was not saying to love the way you think someone should be loved, or the way you want to love. He said love one another the way that I have loved you. This means we must understand how Jesus loved us.

Remember from Matthew: Jesus loved us and voluntarily chose to suffer terrible things for our sake. Peter had said, "You don't need to suffer these things." But Jesus said, "Nobody takes my life from me. I am the one who voluntarily laid it down."

The terrible things that Jesus suffered for you and me were intentional. He chose to suffer for your sake to show you that he loves you and is willing to pay the price so that you can have eternal life. Jesus did not need eternal life. He was not separated from the Father. You and I are the ones separated. The Bible says the wages of sin is death. Sin has separated us from God.

But God loved us voluntarily and suffered terrible things to show that he loves us. No one could have made God suffer those terrible things. Jesus said, "I do it willingly because I love."

The Test of Love

In John 14:15, after giving this commandment, Jesus said to his disciples:

"If you love me, keep my commandments."

And then in verse 21:

"He who has my commandments and keeps them is him that loves me and he who loves me will be loved by my father and I will love him and manifest myself to him."

All of this—God's love for you, your keeping of his commandments—flows from understanding that Jesus suffered terrible things for you and embracing that cross.

Jesus does not waste words. When he kept repeating this commandment over and over in John, it was because he wanted it to sink deeply into his disciples' hearts. He wanted them to understand how important this commandment is to their lives.

In John 15:12-15, Jesus explained further:

"This is my commandment: Love one another just as I have loved you. Greater love has no man than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends. You are my friends if you do whatever I command you."

What makes you a friend of God? When you love one another. How? By knowing his word—that he loves you. By accepting that he suffered terrible things for your sake. By accepting that Jesus's love is unconditional. That he will never stop loving you.

First, you must accept that word. And then, in that great confidence of being loved—living in that love, not outside of it, being embraced, engulfed, and totally soaked in that love—you go out and you love one another.

Jesus is not asking you to do anything in your strength. He is asking you to be seated upon the throne of his love and let him carry you in expression to everyone that you meet.

Deny yourself so you can stay with Jesus. Deny your own way of loving and embrace his way.

The Proof of Being Born of God

In 1 John 4:7, John reveals the secret to the disciples and believers:

"Dear friends, let us love one another. For love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God because God is love."

You cannot say that you are born of God if you do not love. The proof of being a son of God is love. Why? God is love. He doesn't give birth to what he is not. By their fruit you will know them. If you are born of love, if you are born of God, the proof of it is that love gave birth to you, and love births like himself in his image and after his likeness.

One proof that you are born of God and that you know God: love.

Then John goes on:

"This is how God showed his love amongst us. He sent his son, his one and only son into the world that we might live through him. This is love."

When you are looking for the definition of love, here it is: not that you love God, but that God loved us and sent his son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.

Dear friends, here is the secret: "Since God loved us, we also ought to love one another."

Stay with that for a moment. Think about that. God showed his love amongst us by sending his son for our sins so that we may live through him. Then he defined love for us: not whether someone loves you, but whether you love that person. This is love. The true definition of love is not that someone loves you, but that you love the person.

The Bible says: "This is love. Not that we love God but that he loved us." When we were yet his enemies, Christ died for us. Scarcely will a man die for a good person, but Christ, while we were yet sinners, paid the price for us—when we didn't even have any thought of him, he loved us.

"And that's how I want you to love. Don't wait for them to love you. They may persecute you. They may despisefully use you. But you are so confident in the love of God for you. You sit upon the throne of God's love for you and he carries you through life's experiences, expressing his love that is shed abroad in your heart."

Three Proofs That God Lives in You

First proof: Love itself. If you do not love, it means you haven't accepted what Christ did for you. Love is the evidence that you have received his sacrifice.

Second proof: God's presence. In 1 John 4:12:

"No one has ever seen God. But if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us."

Love is the proof that God lives in us. Love is what wards off the fear of judgment. When we know that God loves us, it doesn't matter what judgment we read about—the one who loves us will care for us. In 1 John 4:16-18:

"And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. This is how love is made complete amongst us so that we will have confidence in the day of judgment. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear."

Third proof: Love originates from God, not from you. In 1 John 4:19:

"We love because he first loved us."

We are loving for only one reason: because we are loved. This really transforms us. Other people may not understand why Jesus went to the cross. Other people may not understand why you will turn the other cheek, why you will give up your rights, why you will forgive so easily.

You know why? You know what it is like to be forgiven. You know what it is like to be embraced in God's love, and you love that feeling. You want everyone else to know what it feels like, what you have experienced.

The Importance of Love in All Things

The Bible tells us again and again the importance of love:

"For God so loved the world that he gave his only son that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life." (John 3:16)

"God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8)

"God being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our sins, made us alive with Christ." (Ephesians 2:4-5)

"Love is patient and kind. Love does not envy or boast. It's not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way. It's not irritable or resentful. It does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." (1 Corinthians 13)

In 1 Corinthians 12, Paul was discussing great spiritual gifts and works. But then he said, "Let me show you a more excellent way." And he introduced 1 Corinthians 13—love. He said, "You can give your body to be burnt. You can give all your goods to the poor. You can do all these miraculous things. But if you don't have love—which is the proof of God living inside you—it's nothing."

There will be those who say to Jesus, "Did we not cast out demons in your name? Did we not do all these miraculous things in your name?" And he will say to them, "Depart from me. I don't know you. Those works—you are workers of iniquity."

Why? Because the proof of God living in you is love living in you. Everything that you do—whether you give up yourself, whether you suffer terrible things, whether you are kind or merciful—is birthed out of God living in you, birthed out of you being enthroned in the love of God as he carries you through.

"Above all, love each other deeply because love covers a multitude of sins." (1 Peter 4:8)

"And above all this, put on love, that binds everything together in perfect harmony." (Colossians 3:14)

"Do everything in love." (1 Corinthians 6:14)

The Serious Warning About Love

But listen to this serious warning. In 1 John 4:20-21:

"If anyone says I love God but hates a fellow believer, that person is a liar. The Bible doesn't mince words when it comes to love because it's so fundamental to you as a Christian and the proof that you are a Christian and that you are born of God. If anyone says we love God and hates a fellow believer, that person is a liar. For if we don't love the people we can see, how can we love God whom we cannot see? And he has given us this command: Those who love God must also love their fellow believers."

Must. Must is a doing word—a command. It means that if you don't follow that word, there is something that happens. The Bible says if you choose to go your own way instead of denying yourself and following Jesus, from that day you are actually a liar. Every time you say "I love God," you're a liar. The whole of the heavens denies your confession even though you make it with your mouth.

You cannot love God and hate. That's impossible.

The Parable of the Lost Son: Understanding the Father's Love

The Two Sons and Their Misunderstanding

Jesus told a parable in Luke 15:11-32 to show the love of a father. A rich man had two sons. The younger son decided he wanted his inheritance from his father. He wanted to be separated from his father, to live the way he wanted and do the things he wanted.

He went to his father and said, "Give me my inheritance now." And the father gave it to him.

The younger son took his inheritance and went to a different place and began to live recklessly. The Bible calls it riotous living. He spent all of his inheritance. When he had finished spending it, he tried to get a job. But he had no skills—his father had carried him all his life and given him everything.

The only job he could get was feeding swine, and for meager wages. He could hardly pay his rent, eat, and cover his other expenses. So he decided to live where the swine were and eat the food of the swine. But even the master wouldn't let him do that.

Then he thought: "I know that I've offended my father, but my father's house hasn't moved. I still know where my father lives. I'll go back to that place. But I cannot make the same demand as before. I know my father treats servants much better than this person is treating me. I will go back and ask him to take me on as a servant."

So he walked home. And the Bible says the father saw him from afar and ran to embrace him. It makes me think that perhaps every day the father had stood at the door in hope that his son would return home.

The father saw him and ran to him and embraced him. Then he called people and said, "Change his clothes! Put a royal robe on him. Put a ring on his finger. We want to have a party for this son of mine was lost and now he's returned!"

But the older son, who had never left the house, heard the sound of music—something he probably wasn't familiar with. He wondered what was going on. They told him, "Your father is giving a party because an unusual thing has happened. Your brother that was so disobedient and went to live recklessly has returned home, and your father is so happy he's thrown him a party."

This vexed the older son. He walked away in anger. The father went to talk to him and said, "Why are you like this?"

The older son said, "I have been with you in obedience all these years. I have never been disobedient to you. I've never asked you for anything. This son of yours went and spent your inheritance—what you worked for—recklessly. He gave no regard to the price that you paid to gather this inheritance together. He lived his life recklessly and now he's returned and you are throwing a party?"

Both Sons Missed the Father's Love

Here is what the Holy Spirit revealed: Both of them missed the father's love.

The son that was righteous thought that the love of a father was based on entitlement. He thought, "I'm a son. I'm entitled to the father's love because of what I do."

But the father loved him not because he was a son, not because of his obedience. Before this son ever did anything right, the father loved him. Before he said yes, the father loved him. Even the whole world, those who have not yet said yes to him to become the sons of God born of him—the Lord loves them.

The son thought, "I am worthy of this love. I deserve it." But you are not entitled to the love of God. God is love. So he loves you.

The younger son thought that the love of the father was bound in his position or his worthiness. "I've spent my entitlement. I don't deserve to be called a son anymore. Perhaps I can come back as a servant."

But the older son thought that the love of the father was bound in his obedience. "I do everything right. I stay with you. I stick with you. I obey you. That's why you love me."

But before you began to obey the commandments, the father loved you. The father loved both the older and the younger son. Period. Because the father loves.

Understanding Our Privilege

When Jesus says, "If you love me, obey my commandments," it's not that obedience earns his love. Before you began to obey, the father loved you.

You are privileged as a son because the father loves you. You are not entitled—you are privileged. The father loves you.

You may have been so obedient. You are privileged as an obedient child because the father loves you. He loves you.

When you know that, then the commandment becomes real: to go and love one another as the father loved you. You don't predicate it on whether these people must be obedient or whether they are entitled. You don't love conditionally. You just love them the same way you have been loved.

The Ephesians Prayer

Unless we know the depth, the width, the breadth, and the length of God's love, we will always think it's a transactional love. We will always think it's based on the rights and entitlements that we have.

Let us pray the prayer from Ephesians 3:14-21:

"I fall on my knees and I pray to the father, the creator of everything in heaven and on earth. I pray to you my father that from your glorious unlimited resources, you will empower us with inner strength through your spirit so that Christ can make his home in our hearts as we daily trust him. We want our roots to grow deep down in you, God. We want it to grow deep down into your love and keep us strong. We want to have the power. We pray for the power to understand as we should, as your disciples, Lord Jesus, how wide, how long, how high, how deep your love is.

We want to experience your love, Christ Jesus, that is too great to fully understand without the power of the Holy Spirit so that we will be made complete with all the fullness of life that comes from you. Now to you be glory our father. You who are able through your mighty power at work within us—that is the Holy Spirit—to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask all things. To you be glory in our midst and in Christ Jesus. Not just for us but for our children and our children's children forever and ever. Amen."