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Kingdom Gems | Matthew 7:7-12
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The longer I live and reflect on my life, one truth becomes clearer: your greatest joys and your greatest pains both flow from the same place—human relationships. Our relationships are the source of our greatest blessings and our deepest sorrows. The drama, the tragedy, the bickering—all come from people. The greatest gifts God brings into our lives walk on two legs.
If we are to do relationships well, we need to develop specific skills: communication, love, patience, kindness, compassion, mercy, understanding, and forgiveness. But there is another skill that is equally important, yet rarely discussed: the skill of discernment.
Discernment is one's ability to sense or decide between what is truth and what is error, what is real from what is false, what is right from what is wrong. It is one's ability to judge correctly, aided by the Holy Spirit, not your flesh, and strengthened by the knowledge of God's Word.
Some of you think you have discernment, but you have condemnation. You judge people and tag discernment to your judgment. True discernment is different. The more sensitive you are to God's Spirit, the greater your discernment. The more knowledge you have of God's Word, the greater discernment you will have. There are many who lack discernment because they're biblically illiterate, so they enter into spaces and relationships and can't make good judgments because they don't have God's Word to guide them.
Last week we looked at Matthew 7:1-6, where Jesus said, "Judge not." But the Greek word here is better translated as "don't judge wrongly" or "judge rightly." Jesus is not saying don't judge at all. He's saying judge rightly, not wrongly. Deal with people rightly, not wrongly.
The evidence is in verse two: "For with the judgment you pronounce, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." This is the boomerang principle. Whatever you throw out comes back to you. If you judge wrong, if you condemn wrong, if you deal with people wrong, that wrong energy is coming right back to you. You can't keep mistreating people and condemning people without consequence.
Before you can help other people, you need to discern what's going on in your own life first. If you don't discern the issues in your own life first, you won't be able to properly discern the issues in somebody else's life. If you're blinded by pride, you'll try to help somebody with judgment and condemnation, but you won't be able to help them from the right heart. You're putting out bad energy that's coming back to you.
It's like when you're on an airplane—they tell you to put your own mask on first. Discern your oxygen level first before you try to help somebody else.
Jesus then says, "Do not give what is holy to the dogs. Don't throw pearls before pigs, lest they trample underfoot and turn and attack you." Dogs in the first century were ravenous animals. When Jesus says "don't give what is holy to dogs," He's referring to people who blaspheme God, the truth of God, the kingdom of God—people you're trying to help who don't want help.
Jesus is saying: elevate the status of My truth and don't try to give it to people that don't want it, who blaspheme it, who reject it, who tear it down. Don't waste your time trying to give truth to people that don't want to hear it. Don't keep trying to help people that don't want to be helped.
You're counseling someone who hates Jesus? They're not ready to receive that truth. That's why you need discernment—to be able to say, "This heart is not ready for this truth. I'm going to come back to you in another season." If someone doesn't like to listen, I'm just going to go quiet. I will not take the pearls of God's wisdom and let them trample it under their feet. I'm going to keep it to myself and pray that God would transform them.
Yes, we're called to spread the gospel, but no, we're not called to keep shoving God's precious truth down the mouths of people that don't want it. Before you're always running around trying to preach people down, you need to discern whose hearts are open and whose hearts are closed. When Jesus stood in front of Herod, what did He do? Nothing. When Paul went to certain people, he refused to argue with them about the Word of God.
In all of your relationships—and I mean all of them—you need to start discerning who you're dealing with. Not everybody in the church has your best interest at heart. Some of you are dating and need to start discerning the person you're dating. You're about to get married, you need to discern the person you're marrying. You're hanging out with Christians, you need to discern who you're hanging out with. You're going to people's events, you need to discern what events you're going to. You're listening to people's podcasts, you need to discern what you're listening to.
So here's the question: If we need discernment for a better life, how do you increase in discernment? The answer is the genius of Jesus. He gives us three words: Ask, Seek, Knock.
"Ask and it will be given to you. Seek and you will find. Knock and the door will be open. For everyone who asks receives, and to the one who seeks he finds, and to the one who knocks it will be open." (Matthew 7:7-8)
First, the Lord says: Ask. Ask is an invitation into the greatest thing you'll ever have in this life—intimacy with God Almighty. Verse 7 is about access: entry into My presence, entry into My heart, entry into My mind.
You don't have to keep trying to figure this out on your own. Why would you not talk to the one who is the Author and Finisher of your faith? Why would you not talk to the one who is omniscient, who knows all things? Why would you not talk to the one who has all power and all authority? As you keep growing closer to Him, you start growing in intimacy and discernment.
Ask is an invitation into deeper prayer. Prayer is the highest activity you'll ever do in your life. The more you pray, the more you ask, the more you keep petitioning God, the more intimate you grow with God.
But many American Christians don't understand this. The secret place is not a buffet for the flesh. The secret place is a sanctuary for the soul. The primary purpose of prayer is not to get the things that you want. The primary purpose of prayer is to draw nearer to God. Prayer is a sanctuary for your soul. In the prayer room, I feel safest. I feel strongest. I feel closest to God. I get help. I get comfort. I get peace. I get guidance. I get answers. I get discernment. I get yeses. I get nos. I hear God's voice. I get correction. I have release. I shed tears.
But why don't some of us ask? We don't ask because we're self-reliant. We think we don't need the Lord. Some of us are self-reliant because of pride. Our pride keeps us from prayer. Some are self-reliant because of ignorance—we just don't know better that if we would go to God, He would respond. Some are self-reliant because of indifference. We just don't care either way. And some are self-reliant because of fear. We're so afraid that God may not want to hear what we have to say.
But the Lord says, "You need discernment. You need everything else. Ask."
Next, He says: Seek and you will find. If something could be found, that assumes you don't have it yet. There are some things God wants to reveal to you, give to you, funnel to you that you don't yet possess because you're not seeking.
Praying is easier than seeking. Seeking involves hunger. God has built into every human being curiosity. And your life will radically change when the apex of your curiosity terminates on God. That is when you use your curiosity to keep driving you to the Father to keep seeking Him for everything He has for you.
Some of you are praying, but you're not really hungry. You're just praying. But she's praying, seeking, and knocking. She wants all of God. She wants all of Jesus. She wants all of His presence. She's seeking. She's going deep. She's pursuing. She's letting her curiosity terminate on Jesus.
What is your curiosity terminating on? How can I get more money? How can I be more famous? How can I build my Instagram? If the apex of your curiosity switches and the thing you want more than anything is the Lord Jesus Christ, then you start finding things—revelation. You start discovering what God wants for you.
And then He says: Knock. Keep pounding until you get a response. Knocking is deeper than just asking because knocking goes past hunger. Knocking takes desperation.
I know women who were barren and were pounding, knocking for years, and now they have children because they kept knocking. I know people who were knocking for unsaved loved ones for years, and now those unsaved loved ones are saved because they kept knocking. Knocking means persist and don't give up. Keep pounding the doors of heaven until something changes—either until you change, or the circumstance changes, or until they change.
Some of you should be knocking for your husband. You're trying to change him by emasculating him. You should go and knock. You're trying to change her by controlling her. Go knock.
Now look at verse eight: "For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and the one who knocks it will be open."
Watch the language shift. He starts with "everyone who asks receives." Anybody can pray. You can be carnal and pray. You can be an atheist and pray. Anybody can pray, and the Lord may respond yes, no, or grace. That's easy.
But then the Lord changes the language from "everyone" to "the one" to single out those who have a little bit more hunger. Why is he praying and he ain't got nothing? Why is she praying and God keeps moving in her life? Well, he's just praying. She's praying, seeking, and knocking.
Now Jesus gives us the reason to have confidence in asking, seeking, and knocking.
"Which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him?" (Matthew 7:9-11)
You're sinful. I'm sinful. Scripture says no one is good. Not one. The only person that is good is Jesus.
But here's the point: If you, sinful fathers, know how to give good gifts to your children—if a loving father like us, full of sin, would provide for his daughter when she asks, how much more would a perfect Father respond to any of His children who keep asking, seeking, and knocking?
The Lord is trying to remove from your mind any doubt that God won't move on your behalf. It may take some time, but God will move on your behalf.
Now Jesus finishes his thought about judging wrongly and judging rightly with His most famous teaching:
"So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the law and the prophets." (Matthew 7:12)
Whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them. He's saying: Whatever you want to see come into your life, sew that into the lives of others.
You want forgiveness to come into your life? Sew that into the lives of others. You want to be understood? Sew understanding into the lives of others. You want people to respect you? Sew respect into the lives of others. You want good friends? Sew friendship into the lives of others.
In those days, there was a rabbi named Rabbi Hillel. He had influence, and he tried to tell people, "Hate the things that are bad. Hate the things that are wrong. Just hate those things, and the rest is commentary." In other religions, they teach you, "Don't do what you don't want other people to do." That's the foundation.
But listen: not doing is easy. To do takes more work. It's easy to say, "I am not going to disrespect anybody because I don't want to be disrespected." But it's another thing to say, "I'm going to honor someone because I want to be honored." Not doing is easy, but can you do?
It's not enough to just not curse somebody out because you don't want to be cursed out. But can you love them so that you will be loved? It's not enough to not do. He wants you to do.
He wants His children to be proactive, constantly sewing into the lives of others the things you want to see come into your own life.
It's not enough to say, "Well, I'm not going to say nothing about this so I'm not going to be drama." But you're not working to build either. Well, you're not going to disrespect your husband anymore. He's pissing you off, but you ain't going to disrespect him. But you're not working to honor him either. Well, you're not going to cause trouble in your squad. You don't like the women there, but you're not going to cause trouble. But you're not working to bring about healing and reconciliation either.
It's not enough to not do. He wants you to do.
This is the law and the whole prophets. If you obey that one commandment, you fulfill the underpinning of the whole Bible, which is to love people well.
So we judge right by loving people well. And the more we keep seeking, asking, knocking—asking, seeking, knocking—we grow in intimacy with God. We grow in sensitivity of the heart. We grow in humility. The Lord can deal with us in those secret places in our heart.
As we spend more time with God, as we get more intimate with God, as we learn more of the Word of God, we grow in discernment. And as we grow in discernment, we know how to navigate our human relationships more effectively.
Discernment protects us from spreading harm and being harmed. And discernment also promotes help and healing. The better I discern, the better I understand what's really going on with someone. Now I know how to help them. But if I'm just judging them and I can't discern what's really going on, I can't properly help.
The whole thing is wisdom: Don't judge wrong. Discern right so you can help right.
Don't judge it. Discern right so you can help right. You keep thinking Rhonda is this way because—no, no. You discern right so you can help right.
And then sew into the lives of others what you want into yourself. Seek. Ask. Knock. Keep pursuing Me so you grow in intimacy with Me. The most important thing you would ever have in this life is a deep, intimate, personal relationship with the Lord Jesus, born of prayer, deep in prayer, anchored by prayer, in which He transforms your heart. He increases you in discernment. He helps you to love other people well and transforms all of your relationships.
If we get this right, our vertical begins to transform. And as our vertical transforms us and God, our horizontal transforms us and people. So don't try to figure this out on your own, and stop judging people wrongly. Ask, seek, knock.
For everyone who asks receives. Everyone who seeks finds. And for the ones who knock, things will open for you.
My brothers and sisters, the most important thing you need to discern is whether you're religious and far away from God. You need to discern like I did in 2003 over a bathroom in a toilet seat that you are actually far away from God. You need to know if you're not a Christian or if you call yourself a Christian but you're not a disciple.
If you died in a car accident on the way home, you would be separated from God for all your life because you do church but you have not done relationship. You already know who you are. You're sitting in this room right now. You've done church. You've done religion. And for some of you, you've done nothing.
The thing you need to discern is that you're actually disconnected from God. You do not have a personal relationship with Him. Why? Because you are a sinner, and so am I. And your sin has separated you from God. The Scripture says if anyone dies in their sin, you're going to be eternally separated from God. You're going to end up in a place where you're never going to get out, and you're not prepared to go there.
But here is the love of the Father. He sent His Son, the Lord Jesus, into this earth. He lived a perfect life. He died a sacrificial death in your place. And He said, "If anyone will put their trust in Him, repent, turn from sin, He shall make you a son and daughter. He'll forgive you of all your sin."
A fancy prayer can't do that. My sermon can't do that. It's the sovereign work of God happening right now in your seat. I just want to know who I'm praying for. I'm talking to you. Do you want to be forgiven of all your sin? Do you want to be a brand new woman and man? Do you want to walk out of here knowing that you're headed to heaven?
God is already working in your heart. He's been doing it before the foundation of the world. We just want to celebrate what God is doing because my prayer can't do it. But the Holy Spirit has done it already. He's the one regenerating you. If I'm praying for you, I want to know who I'm talking to.
I'm going to count to three. I want you to lift your hands on the count of three. If I'm talking to you and God is working on your heart, you want to turn from your sin, you want to be forgiven, you want to be a brand new man and woman, you're watching me online—on the count of three, Jesus is calling you. Two, you already belong to Him. Three. Throw your hand in the air.
While we're praising, you 35 people—just tell Jesus you're sorry. Ask Him for forgiveness of your sin. Tell Him you surrender. Tell Him you put your trust in Him. Just yield right now. Yield while we worship Him for your soul. Just yield.
And now, Father, I pray over these men and women. Lord, not a special prayer, not magic, not pixie dust—Your Holy Spirit regenerating them. They belong to You from the foundation of the world. I thank You, God, for what You're doing and filling them with Your Spirit. You snatched them from hell. You made heaven a new home. You delivered them from the kingdom of darkness and brought them into the kingdom of light. You gave them a new name—forgiven. You gave them a new name—saved. You gave them a new name—son and daughter.
I pray, God, that they will have an explosive prayer life, that You would draw them to Yourself, that they will sense and feel the guidance of Your Holy Spirit, and that today will be the beginning of the rest of their lives.
