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Human-ology Series
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I want to tag this message with a simple title: don't play in my face. For those who are unclear, this cultural colloquialism communicates something straightforward: don't confuse my kindness with weakness, and don't confuse my silence with stupidity. It's a statement suggesting there's no need to be dishonest, deceptive, or disingenuous with me. I am evolved enough to handle the truth, even if I don't like it.
Although this is cultural language, I believe it's a conversation we need to have in Christian context. Far too many well-meaning, sincere saints are subjecting themselves to unnecessary abuse, avoidable exploitation, and discernible deception that sabotages their soul and destroys their destiny—all in the name of being Christian. The problem is they cannot distinguish between cultural niceness and kingdom kindness.
Every human will have what I'm calling a Judas experience. A Judas experience refers to inevitable relational situations where you get a revelation that someone was close enough to share your space but not safe enough to be trusted with your heart.
To understand this, we need to understand who Judas actually was. Judas was one of Jesus's 12 disciples or apprentices. He is called Judas Iscariot, which refers either to the town he was from or the tribe he was part of—the Sakari tribe, meaning dagger men or assassins.
Judas was a man who struggled with either lack or greed. Lack meaning he did not know how to handle seasons when he didn't have enough. Or greed—meaning enough never felt like enough. We can say this with confidence because the Bible refers to Judas as the keeper of Jesus's money bag. He was Jesus's treasurer. But more than that, one gospel writer says he used to help himself to what was in it. He was an embezzler.
This shows up clearly in an instance where a woman takes precious ointment and begins to wipe and wash Jesus's feet. Judas says, "We could have taken this, sold it, and given the money to the poor." But the writer tells us he did not say that because he was concerned about the poor. He said it because he was the keeper of the money bag and used to help himself to what was in it.
So when there's an opportunity to hand Jesus over to the officials, he sells Jesus out for 30 pieces of silver.
This is critical: Judas is not the enemy. The enemies of Jesus were the Pharisees. The enemies of Jesus were the Sadducees. The enemies of Jesus were the officials in the Roman Empire. Judas was not an enemy of Jesus. Judas was a disciple of Jesus.
Judas is not somebody at a distance. Judas is somebody who's close.
Judas represents someone whose unaddressed and mismanaged brokenness is what leads to their betrayal. It is not a person you don't love and it is not a person that doesn't love you. It is a person whose brokenness is so mismanaged that their love for you doesn't lead them in making decisions that actually treat you like they love you.
Judas's actions are intentional, but his intent isn't to hurt you. His actions are intentional because you don't negotiate the price of betrayal without being intentional. But his intent isn't to hurt you. All Judas knew is that he was giving Jesus over to officials. He did not know Jesus would be ushered into a kangaroo court. He did not know Jesus would be convicted on trumped up charges. He did not know that governmental officials who knew the right decision and said publicly, "I find no fault with this man," would be pressured into making immoral and illogical decisions to crucify Jesus.
Judas just thought he was identifying Jesus and handing him over. So his actions were intentional, but his intent was not to kill him.
Judas represents somebody that is so consumed with what they want in that situation or in that season, they are not taking into consideration the implications that their decisions have on you. They want what they want so bad they are willing to pursue it at your own expense.
We can say with confidence this is the case for Judas because after he engaged in this activity, he got a revelation that made him so remorseful, he took his own life. Enemies don't take their life over what they did to you. But once he got the coin, he realized the coin was not worth giving up the Christ. He was so filled with grief and guilt that he took his own life because he realized he had sacrificed the superior for the inferior.
That's why some people in your life didn't get a revelation of how valuable you were until you were no longer in their life. Now they're thinking, "I gave up all of that for this. I gave up all of that for this."
Judas should not be a label we attach to every person. It should not be a scarlet letter that they wear eternally. This is why we use the word Judas experience. Because they might not always be a Judas. But in that season, they gave you a Judas experience.
So Judas is somebody you love and somebody that loves you. A Judas experience just means there's a situation and a season where their love doesn't lead their decision.
Consider this: sometimes people are choosing friends based on how much they love you, ignoring how much healing they need to do. I know you love me, but how healed you are is going to determine whether or not your actions are going to match your love.
When we have brokenness, we manage it. But when brokenness has us, brokenness leads us. And brokenness leads our decision making. This confuses people. You're like, "How can we have all of this time together? You have demonstrated that you really love me. So I'm confused because in this past season, you've shown me you love me, but in this present season, you did something that almost killed me." It's just the Judas experience.
Everybody is going to have a Judas experience. Raise kids long enough and your own kids will give you a Judas experience. It doesn't mean they don't love you. It doesn't mean they wouldn't give their life for you. It doesn't mean it didn't break their heart when they saw the ramifications that the decision they made had on you. But in that moment, they made a decision regarding what they wanted, and they didn't even consider that their mess up will become your cleanup.
Stay in business long enough and you'll have a Judas experience. Stay married long enough, stay in a church long enough—at some point you're going to have a Judas experience where you become a victim of somebody else's imperfection.
The question is not if it's going to happen. The question is when it's going to happen, how regularly it's going to happen, and are you equipped to handle it properly when it does happen?
There are three ways to handle Judas experiences.
Culture's way is reactive revenge. Cut them off, call them out, and get them back.
Now, the temptation to cut them off, the temptation to call them out, and the temptation to get them back doesn't mean you're evil. It means you're human. Because underneath most temptations is a legitimate need. Since the Garden of Eden, the enemy has been attempting to influence us to make decisions to pursue a legitimate need in an illegitimate way.
Sometimes to really fix a mistake, you have to get underneath and find the need. The mistake sometimes is an attempt to illegitimately meet a legitimate need.
Cutting them off — underneath cutting them off is the human desire to feel protected. "I want to be safe. You have demonstrated to me that you are not safe." When I say cut off, I don't always mean cut off physically. I mean separate emotionally. Sometimes it's not about protecting my money. It's about protecting my heart. You've just demonstrated that you are a pattern of disappointment. If I keep investing emotionally in you, I'm going to be disappointed. So I'm going to cut off the expectation I had of you to actually make wise decisions because what you've shown me in this last season is you can't make wise decisions. It's not that I don't trust your character. I don't trust your judgment. I don't trust your decision making.
Call them out — because a human despises deception. Even a liar hates being lied to. That's human nature.
Get them back — that's the human desire for justice. Recompense. "I want to know, God, you're going to operate with just scales. It's no way they should let me. It's no way they should make me suffer and they get to soar."
David, a man after God's own heart, expressed this in the Psalms. In Psalm 55:6, he says:
Oh, if I had wings like a dove, I would fly away and be at rest. I would flee far away and stay in the desert. I would hurry to my place of shelter far from the tempest and the storm.
And in Psalm 109, he prays:
My God whom I praise, do not remain silent. For people who are wicked and deceitful have opened their mouth against me. They have spoken against me with lying tongues. With words of hatred, they surround me...In return for my friendship, they accuse me...They repay me evil for good and hatred for my friendship...May his days be few. May another take his place of leadership. May his children be fatherless and his wife a widow.
David wanted justice. The need to be protected, the need to not be deceived, the need to want justice is human. The question is where will you take the need? Will you try to protect yourself? Will you try to expose others? Will you try to take justice into your own hands? Because when you do that, you've exchanged seats. Now you've gone from your chair to his throne. He said, "Vengeance is mine. I will repay. Justice is my responsibility."
The temptation is human. Now we decide whether we allow the spirit or the flesh to guide what we do with that temptation.
Church can be such an environment for enabling. We know sister such-and-such is mean. We know she's running people from the church. But when somebody new comes to church and sits in sister such-and-such's seat, instead of being glad they're in church, she says, "What are you doing in my seat?" And then we enable it by saying, "Oh, that's sister such-and-such." It's passive enabling.
Passive enabling says: be nice, pray harder, and pretend it didn't happen.
This passive enabling is often supported by misrepresented and misinterpreted scriptures. This book is a dangerous book for Satan, but when misused, it becomes a tool of Satan. In Matthew 4, Satan used the word to tempt Jesus. This is why Paul tells Timothy, "Study to show yourself approved of the word, not need not be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth." Some of the most heinous and despicable acts in human history have been done by those who use scripture in an improper way to justify their actions.
Take Matthew 5:39: "But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn the other cheek."
People who misinterpret this use it as a resource to reaffirm people submitting themselves to abuse and exploitation. But the way this audience would have received being slapped is completely different than we would. In their culture, a slap was like an insult, not like a punch. It's not saying Jesus wanted violence. It's saying he didn't respect you.
Jesus is speaking using hyperbole. He says, "If your eye offends you, pluck it out." Does he literally mean to gouge out your eyes? He says, "If your hand offends you, cut it off." Does he literally want you to cut off your hand? No. He's pointing to something larger—the spiritual fruit of temperance, which is self-control.
He's using hyperbole to say: don't allow their dysfunction to pull you into dysfunctional reactions. You need to have enough temperance and self-control to act and not react when you're insulted, when you're exploited, and when people are trying to take advantage of you.
Because when you do that, you put yourself in position where you are deserving of the same justice you want God to enact on your behalf. Paul says in Romans 12: God said, "You want me to handle their disobedience, but because you haven't fulfilled your obedience, you became disobedient. So now if I have to get them, I have to get you too."
The king's way is strategic strength: see clearly, respond wisely, and protect purposefully. This is what Jesus models in Matthew 26.
They are celebrating the feast of unleavened bread, having this meal in celebration. Jesus is reclining at the table, and out of nowhere he says, "One of you is going to betray me."
Imagine it's Friendsgiving. You're all having good food, good music, playing Uno. It's a great time. And then out of nowhere, somebody says, "One of you going to betray me." Do you know how disruptive to the vibe that statement would be?
This is what Jesus does. It's what I call a holy disruption. It is not emotional. It is intentional. A holy disruption is disrupting an environment that is less than God's best. It is disrupting that which is inferior so you can step into that which is superior.
Jesus, being a man of truth, is not going to sit at the table and pretend everything is fine when he knows something needs to be addressed. He's saying, "We are celebrating Passover where God delivered us from our enemies, and I'm not going to sit at the table and act like Judas is not about to deliver me into my enemies."
So he says, "Listen, somebody's going to betray me."
Now listen to Judas. He says, "Surely you don't mean me, Rabbi." The second way would have said, "I'm not going to say any names. Pray about it and those who have discernment will figure it out." But Jesus said, "You said so." And even before that, he said, "The one who dipped his hand in the bowl with me will betray me."
A man of truth knows his silence would have made him guilty of something called guile. In the New Testament, when people talk about sins of deception, they often only talk about lying. But there's another sin of deception called guile.
Biblical guile is when you participate in deception through:
It's a sin of deception. This is the opposite of what Paul tells believers in Ephesians: "We grow up into him and speak the truth in love." The ability to live a guile-free life only comes when you step into spiritual maturity.
Jesus established an environment of authenticity. He refused to settle for what some call false peace. When Jesus says, "I didn't come to bring peace. I came to bring a sword," he means, "I didn't come to bring false peace, the world's peace." He says, "My peace I leave with you, not peace as the world gives." True peace, not false peace. Because false peace is only cool, calm, and copacetic when we don't deal with anything that causes conflict, even when it's true.
So Jesus is a holy disruptor. And what holy disruption does is enable him to protect the people he loves. When he says somebody's going to betray him, people who wouldn't have examined their own hearts start examining their own hearts to say, "Is it me?" People start looking inward. It also protects those who can't yet discern Judas's duplicity.
John tells us that Jesus was deeply troubled. He says, "Jesus, being troubled in spirit, said one of you will betray me." Here he was—three years with these guys, just washed their feet tonight. He was troubled. So he was a human. He's impacted emotionally, but he doesn't act emotional. And that's going to be your greatest temptation in a Judas experience—to act out of your wound.
I don't have seven things for you to do because I don't know what your wounds are. I don't know what your triggers are. But I've got three things that everybody shouldn't do:
Nothing Judas does will stop God from doing anything God wants to do. This is why Jesus could say, "Whatever you're going to do, do it quickly." Because you can put me in the grave, but you can't keep me there. Three days later, I'm coming out of this grave.
You remember when they tried to take Jesus into custody, Peter took out a sword. Jesus said, "You ain't got to do that. If I wanted to, I could call for legions of angels. This could be over in a minute." One of the greatest times you'll be tempted to misuse power is when you're wounded. The gifted are dangerous because the enemy doesn't just want to exploit your weakness. He wants to weaponize your strength.
I have a teaching gift. That's a spiritual gift. You can't earn it. That's why you shouldn't be arrogant about it. It's just a teaching gift that God gives you. But here's the thing: the enemy doesn't just want to exploit a weakness. He wants to weaponize a strength. There are sometimes when I'm seeing things and people are saying things and I'm like, "Oh, if I could..." But the enemy doesn't just want to exploit the weakness. He wants to weaponize the strength.
When God gave you your gifts, he gave them to serve the right people, not to wound the wrong ones. Some of you know you could do something that would mess up somebody's entire life, and they have no idea what you concocted in your head. The Holy Spirit is restraining you. Some of you should be in the CIA. You're an investigator. But you've got to resist the urge to weaponize what God gave you to bless.
When the enemy can't get you through destruction, he wants to get you through distraction. This is another reason Jesus said, "Let's get this over with. I got work to do." When you're obsessed with Judas, you can't be obsessed with your assignment.
This is why anybody that's hater-obsessed is unproductive. Even if they can't win, they're winning because they got your attention. This is another reason Jesus said, "Whatever you're going to do, do it quickly." Because even while I'm in this grave, I'm working. I'm going to go. I'm going to descend to the uttermost parts of the earth and preach to the spirits held captive. And when I come out of this grave, I'm working. After my resurrection, I'm going to be with my people for 40 days and show myself by many infallible proofs. And then I'm going to ascend to the right hand of the Father. I'm going to send the Holy Spirit on the day of Pentecost. And I'm going to live forever to make intercession for you. I got to stay on mission.
You're going to have a Judas experience, and your temptation, your default wiring and setting, is first way or second way. You've got to discern when you see yourself drifting that way and pull yourself to third way.
Because God wants to use Judas experiences to develop you. The devil wants to use them to destroy you. But you choose who gets to use it. You don't choose if it happens. You choose who you let use it. We're going to let God use it.
