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Proverbs Series
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Proverbs 12:15 tells us, "The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice." What characterizes a fool? They're convinced they're always right. They have an opinion and don't realize it's just their opinion. They don't listen to anyone else's advice or perspective. It's hard to work with someone like that—which is why Solomon calls this person a fool.
Proverbs returns to this theme repeatedly. Proverbs 19:20 says, "Listen to advice and accept instruction that you may gain wisdom in the future." Over and over, the message is clear: if you want to be wise, listen to advice and accept instruction.
But here's a critical question: Is all advice equally beneficial? I started wondering about this years ago when church members would tell me about their struggles. My go-to response was always, "Go see a counselor." Sometimes that helped tremendously—people would report back with insights that were biblical and transformative. But other times, people would come back and tell me what their counselor said, and I'd think, "That's the opposite of what the Bible teaches."
I noticed a parallel in the Old Testament book of Jeremiah. During a time when God's people Judah were ignoring Him, God repeatedly warned them: "I'm going to raise up the Babylonians to destroy you." Yet they kept ignoring Him. Remarkably, God seemed most upset not with the people, but with the spiritual leaders—the prophets and pastors.
In Jeremiah 23, God speaks directly: "Do not listen to the words of the prophets who are prophesying to you. They speak a vision of their own imagination, not from the mouth of the Lord." These prophets were telling people exactly what they wanted to hear: "The Lord says that you will have peace." But this wasn't true.
They keep saying to those who despise me, the Lord says that you will have peace.
These were people-pleasers. They were telling people what they wanted to hear, not what they needed to hear. And there's a big difference.
One of the greatest dangers we face regularly is bad advice—and often, the bad advice we listen to is the advice we wanted to hear. The people wanted peace; they didn't want to hear that God would punish them if they persisted in sin. In our own lives, we might want to hear, "That dating relationship is great, keep going," when maybe that's not true.
One piece of advice is loving; the other is not. The most loving thing you can do is speak God's truth into someone's life. The most unloving thing is to say something positive, not because it's true, but because you want to be liked.
Abigail Shrier wrote a book called Bad Therapy, based on extensive research. While there are excellent Christian counselors, Shrier argues that much modern therapy—especially for young people—produces worse outcomes. Practices like validating every emotion, labeling every struggle as trauma, and avoiding discomfort are harming people. The road to harm, as Proverbs says, is paved with good intentions and confident professional credentials.
There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death. (Proverbs 14:12)
Let that sink in. There is a way that seems right to me, but if I follow it, it might lead to destruction. There is a path that seems right to you—it feels good, it makes sense—but it could lead you to death and destruction.
How do you know if you're on that kind of path? There's only one answer: You've got to ask God, and you've got to ask others. You need to listen to God and listen to wise people—not just anyone with an opinion. They might give you bad advice.
Pastor Craig Groeschel says it perfectly: "Show me your friends, and I'll show you your future." If you show me your five best friends, I can predict what your future will look like.
Consider the influence: If you hang out with people apathetic about faith, you'll likely become apathetic. If you spend time with people who use substances, you probably will too. If you're around people who skip church and don't care about God, that's probably going to become you as well.
I noticed this recently when I spent several days with my kids and their friends. I started thinking and talking like them—using their slang, adopting their mannerisms. It wasn't intentional. You start to think, talk, and act like the people you're around.
Recently at my gym, I saw four young men in their teens and twenties sitting with their Bibles and notebooks, taking notes on Ecclesiastes. Before I left, I told them, "You're a great witness. When other guys see you reading your Bibles, it plants a seed. And in 28 years of following Jesus Christ, I've never seen young men pursuing God like this generation." But remember: show me your friends, I'll show you your future.
When we moved into our house, there was a small oak tree that looked more like a shrub—a bushy clump of stems going in every direction. I learned these shoots are called "suckers" because they siphon water and nutrients out of the main tree.
Do you have suckers in your life? People who just take your energy, your joy, your peace. Now, we're all sinners and called to love all people—sometimes you let a sucker suck. You're patient. But if someone is always taking and never giving back, or worse, if they're pulling you away from God, you need to prune that relationship.
Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare. (Proverbs 22:24-25)
Is there a relationship you need to move away from? A dating relationship to end? A friendship that's no longer healthy? Sometimes you have to prune.
Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise. But the companion of fools suffers harm. (Proverbs 13:20)
Wisdom rubs off. You don't even have to be wise yourself—just hang out with wise people and you become wiser. Healthy people rub off on you. So do cynical people. So do greedy people.
A Duke University study found that the quality of your friends determines the quality of your life. If your friends are wise, honest, and dependable, chances are you will be too. If your friends are on the wrong path, chances are you will be as well.
Trey Turner, shortstop for the Philadelphia Phillies, signed an 11-year, $300 million contract and got off to a horrible start. Philadelphia fans were booing him mercilessly. But radio DJ Jack Fritz had a different idea. He told fans: "When Trey Turner comes up to bat this week, stand up and give him an ovation. He's playing terrible. He doesn't deserve it, but stand up anyway. He needs love."
From that moment on, Turner hit .374 with 16 home runs and 42 RBIs for the rest of the season.
Encouragement usually gets the same response: improvement. Whether you're an athlete, a boss, or a spouse, people need to know you're behind them.
Maybe your spouse does things that drive you nuts. Instead of pointing out what they're doing wrong, what if you gave encouragement? Maybe your son or daughter needs to hear words of life from their mom, dad, grandparent, or aunt. Maybe your coach, teacher, or boss needs you to give them a standing ovation instead of being critical.
We tend to cheer for the misses instead of the makes. I was at a Timberwolves game where they had a promotion: if the opposing team missed two free throws in the fourth quarter, everyone got a free Chick-fil-A sandwich. When Domantas Sabonis stepped up to shoot, the whole stadium erupted. People waved towels, moms screamed, even grandmas yelled things to break his concentration. He missed both free throws—and it was treated like Game 7 of the NBA Finals.
Is there anyone in your life whose misses you're secretly cheering for? When something bad happens to them, you think, "Yeah, that suits them right"? I don't want to live like that. I want to cheer for makes. I want to celebrate what God is doing in people's lives.
I recently had someone tell me about a pastor who was critical of Eagle Brook. My first thought was annoyance, but then I had a convicting moment: Have I ever said something bad about another church? Have I ever spoken negatively about another pastor? Yes, I could remember times when I had, and I realized I needed to repent.
One thing that's surprised me as a pastor is how critical Christians are of what God is doing in other churches. I want every church that believes Jesus is the way to salvation and the Bible is God's Word to be full on weekends. I want to cheer on other pastors. Who in your life do you need to cheer on? Don't just cheer for misses—cheer for a make. Be someone who celebrates others' success.
I have four handwritten notes in my office from Eagle Brook staff. One is from Aaron Dah, one of our worship leaders. It was sitting on my desk with tally marks—each one representing a person baptized the previous weekend. He wrote:
Each one of those tallies represents a person who was baptized last weekend at Eaglebrook, February 2026. Look at what God continues to do through our church.
Then he shared his prayer for our upcoming series on encountering Jesus: that people would truly encounter Him, that the series would change our church's culture and our nation, that there would be miraculous healings, relational healing between spouses and families, radical repentance, supernatural peace, and forgiveness. He prayed that "thousands—heck, millions—would hear and experience Jesus."
When I finished reading that note, I wanted to run through the wall of my office. But on most days, I just put my head on the desk because I'm discouraged and tired. When someone is cheering you on, it keeps you going. Do you have people like that in your life? People who give you godly advice, build you up, and encourage you?
Start now. The best time to get on a new path is today, not a week or year from now. Every path has a predictable destination. If you wander through your 20s on paths of sexual sin and substance abuse, you'll feel it in your 30s. If you're on a path of cynical thinking in your 30s, that's where you'll be heading in your 40s.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths. (Proverbs 3:5-6)
Ask God to lead you. When you submit every part of your life to Him—your dating, your spending, your friendships, your career, your marriage, your kids—God says, "I will direct your path."
All it takes is one step. If you're struggling with addiction, go to Quest 180, our addiction recovery ministry. If you're dealing with grief, we offer GriefShare. But pay attention to the paths you're on, because when you get on the right path, it leads to a healthy life. Regrettable paths have predictable outcomes, but you can start walking down better paths today.
Author John Ortberg once trusted his GPS to turn left, but he was sure it was wrong, so he turned right instead. The GPS recalculated, but he ignored it and got hopelessly lost. When he finally turned the GPS back on, it put him on the right path.
If you come to God today and say, "I've been on the wrong path," God won't reject you. He will love you, show you mercy, and put you on the right path. It's never too late to say, "God, I was wrong. I need to get on the right one."
If you need people around you who are helping you grow in your faith, join a small group. That's where you pray for each other, encourage each other, challenge each other, and learn the Bible together. We have groups for different seasons of life, different interests, and different ages. We want every person in our church in a small group because when you walk with wise people, that's when you become wise.
Lord, there might be someone here right now who has friends influencing them toward the wrong path. It will take courage and strength from You to get off that path and onto the one You have for their life. But God, it's going to be one of the best decisions they ever make.
God, I pray they would get off that path and onto a path with wise people. When they walk with wise people, God, make them wise. I pray for that for us as a church as we begin to dig into Proverbs this week, reading a chapter a day. God, give us wisdom. Some of us have big decisions. Some of us have drifted away from You. God, give us wisdom and set us on the right path. Pray all this in Jesus' name. Amen.
