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Part 12 of 16
Surrendering Reactions, Not Controlling Outcomes
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Let them was never permission for dysfunction. It was protection for formation. When we adopt the mindset of "let them, let God," we're not saying you should allow people to be dysfunctional or walk all over you. Rather, we're removing ourselves from situations that distract us from our purpose.
Let them is how you stop leaking energy into people who were never assigned authority over your peace. This is crucial: you are not letting people win. You are letting God work. You are not disengaging from purpose—you are disengaging from the distractions in your life.
My truck caught a flat tire last week. When I checked it, the PSI was at two—critically low. I didn't know exactly when it started leaking, but I knew it had been losing air slowly, steadily. Many of us are overwhelmed and frustrated for the same reason. We've been leaking energy for weeks, months, and years into people who were never assigned authority over our peace.
When you finally lose it, everybody acts shocked, saying "all of a sudden." But it wasn't sudden. This is what the Bible calls weariness—not physical tiredness, but spiritual exhaustion from striving, overextending, or carrying what God never assigned to you.
Many of you are not even halfway through January and already saying this month is moving too slow, feeling frustrated and tired. Let me be clear: it is not physical tiredness. It is spiritual exhaustion from striving, overextending, and carrying what God never assigned.
This has to be the season where you stop picking up what nobody asked you to pick up. Stop volunteering to do what God did not call you to do. I discovered that I am addicted to saving people. When I hear something, I feel like someone is subconsciously wanting me to do something about it. But when I voluntarily stepped into situations where I was never invited, I ended up weary because I was carrying stuff God did not assign me to carry.
Then when it came time to carry my own stuff, I had nothing left to give because I was too busy trying to help you be you. When that moment came and I needed to be me, I had already leaked myself dry.
When purpose and pace are misaligned, that equals weariness of the soul.
Think about trying to charge your phone when the outlet is behind the nightstand or dresser. You keep trying different angles—looking, reaching your hand back, looking again—but you can't get it aligned no matter how hard you try. Here's the solution: move the dresser. Pull the bed out. You don't want to exert the necessary energy to move heavy things, so you'd rather be frustrated and waste time trying to find alignment that one necessary move would give you access to. You are one heavy lift away from stuff aligning.
Long longevity does not equal loyalty. Just because someone has been around for a long time doesn't mean they've been aligned with your purpose.
Purpose is what I'm called and assigned to do. Pace is how fast I move at it. For 2026, I've been adjusting my pace. I've been turning down interviews, speaking engagements, and concerts because I needed to get my pace right. People working with me now have said, "I don't know how you do it." My security team—guys who've worked with major rappers worldwide—told me they've never seen anyone move at the pace I was moving.
I'd be in the studio until 2 a.m., up at 6 a.m., in meetings by 7, staff meetings, more work, training sessions, then getting home late. But here's the thing: just because I was busy doesn't mean I was productive. Who cares if you're getting results if you're leaking?
When purpose and pace fall out of alignment, your soul absorbs the strain. That strain turns into weariness. This is why Isaiah 57:10 speaks so powerfully: "You were wearied by all your ways, but you would not say, 'It is hopeless.'"
The Message version says: "You weigh yourselves out trying the new and the different and never see what a waste it all is. You've always found strength in the latest fad or trend. Never got tired of trying new religions."
In Isaiah 57, the prophet addresses Israel's spiritual drift—a people who kept pursuing alternatives other than God. They tried foreign alliances (bad partnerships), idols, and self-reliance. They were exhausted not because God asked too much of them, but because they refused to stop striving on their own terms.
This is what I call soul fatigue caused by stubborn momentum. God is looking at them saying, "You know I'm the answer, right?" But they kept trying other gods, new religions, new trends. This person said, "All you need is some sage." So they did sage. Another said, "All you need is to be Muslim." So they became Muslim. Someone else said, "You don't even need church; seek enlightenment." Now they're getting enlightenment. Then an Instagram pastor comes along: "All you need is me." And boom—that's all they do.
God is sitting there saying, "Hey, hey, y'all keep trying all this new stuff and are too stubborn to come back to me." The tragedy is not that they were tired. The tragedy was that they were tired and still refused to turn back.
This verse exposes a dangerous strength: the ability to keep going in the wrong direction. When you won't listen to God's instruction, God will send exhaustion. Sometimes God lets exhaustion speak louder than instruction. God says, "I gave you my word in 2024, you didn't do anything. I gave you my word in 2025, you didn't listen. So I'm going to let 2026 whoop you in such a way that you are exhausted." And if you won't stop, your body will.
Weariness becomes the mercy that calls us home. God says, "I'll allow you to be spiritually exhausted because I'm using this exhaustion to bring you back home. When stuff was going perfect, you went missing. When hell broke loose, you came running back."
Are you going after God or goals? Because the two ain't the same.
Many of us have made idols out of our goals. If God isn't in your goals, you'll be moving with no meaning. Goals ask, "What can I build? What do I want to build?" God asks, "Who am I becoming while I'm building it?"
Too many of us have put our goals over God. The scariest thing in the world is when you can't tell the difference between your goals and God. Your mind and ambition will have you thinking God wants something for you. Your own conscience will have you thinking it was the Holy Spirit.
Here's how it happens: You decide you can't stand your job because one person made you mad. So you start saying, "I don't like my job." That word gets on your spirit. You get irritated. Then you go to Instagram and job openings start popping up because algorithms are listening. Now your whole web browser is showing new jobs in your area. You look at career changes, and some influencer on Instagram tells you that you shouldn't even be at your current job. So you tell people, "I feel like God is getting ready to get me out of this job." And God is saying, "I never told you that. Stop making what you want into what I want for you."
My ways are not your ways and my thoughts are not your thoughts.
We have been trained to be goal-oriented. I had goals: by 27, I'd be this; by 29, the biggest gospel artist in the world; by 31, Rock City would be everywhere. But the Holy Spirit asked, "Who told you that's what I want for you?"
The most dangerous thing in life is not failing to reach a goal. It's succeeding at something God never assigned.
Some of you are chasing goals without realizing that goal is actually a prison. It causes you to be something God never designed you to be. If I'm being something God never called me to be, that means I'm playing a part—I'm wearing a mask. And you're going to get to that mansion with 15 bedrooms, that car with all those rims, that full bank account—and still be miserable.
You don't see a lot of poor people throwing in the towel and quitting. You see people who have made it to a certain level of life saying, "I got this big old house. Ain't nobody in it. I got all this money and nobody to spend it with." And God is saying, "I never called you to seek goals."
Matthew 6:33 says: "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you." The problem we have is that we are living Matthew 6:33 in reverse. We seek things, then we add righteousness to it, convincing ourselves that's what God wants. We create a list and ask God to bless it instead of talking to God and asking Him to create the list.
God never called you to chase outcomes. He just says, "Seek me."
The Message version of Matthew 6:33 says: "Steep your life in God reality. Yes. God initiatives, God provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You ain't missing nothing. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met."
It does not say seek results. It says seek the kingdom. When God is the pursuit, goals will find their proper place.
I seek God. God reveals what I should pursue. I build goals based off of what God reveals I should pursue. If you get goals without God, you're not operating in the right order. Now you have goals you didn't even know you were pursuing, and you need God to bless them. Your goals should be servants, not masters.
You're at home depressed because you're not reaching a list you created. You feel behind schedule based on a deadline you made—one you never even fasted and prayed over. So now you're depressed, frustrated, overwhelmed, rushing, trying to manipulate and force things to happen to meet a deadline that isn't even real.
The question I want to ask you is not "Are you tired?" but "What are you tired from chasing?"
Galatians 1:10 says: "Obviously, I'm not trying to win the approval of people but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ's servant."
Approval does not just distract assignment—it creates noise. Paul is saying, "Stop trying to win the approval of people because approval doesn't just distract you from your assignment; it creates noise." When you stop chasing approval, voices get louder. When you stop caring what people think, they don't stop talking—they just talk louder.
People who benefited from your compliance will struggle with your conviction.
The people who liked you better when you were one way can't handle when you mature. They liked the version of you that blew money—they were the recipient. They liked the version of you who went out—you were the ride. They liked the version of you who talked to everybody—they needed you there because you turned sixes into eights. They liked you better when you were toxic because it made their toxicity more comfortable. But they didn't realize you were called to be a mirror so they could see the possibility of what they could become if they locked in with God.
When you become convicted, voices get louder. That's why I preach with more notes now than just trying to have "good church." Good church is emotional. Notes are cognitive. I'm trying to cause a paradigm shift. I'm trying to raise your level of conviction. When I raise your level of conviction, it will shift who you are so you can become what God designed you to be.
Stuff you used to do, you just did without thinking. I'm not mad at it—you didn't know better. You used to act a fool and have a good time. Now when you go out and act a fool, something inside you says, "I know I shouldn't even be doing all this foolishness."
People who benefited from your compliance will struggle with your conviction. When you become convicted, that's my prayer. That's why I preach with more notes now than just trying to have "good church" all the time. Good church is emotional, but notes are cognitive. I'm trying to cause a paradigm shift in your thinking.
I am trying to raise your level of conviction because if I raise your level of conviction, it will shift who you are so you can become what God designed you to be. Stuff you used to do, you just did without thinking. I'm not mad at it—you didn't know better.
You used to act a fool and it was fun. You'd wake up the next morning and you had a good time. Now when you go out and act a fool, something inside you says, "I know I shouldn't even be out here doing all this foolishness." That's conviction working.
I preach in practical ways and use real-life stories and examples. I want every time you're at someone's house and it's about to go down—the lights go down, the music comes on, the fireplace is playing on YouTube to set the mood—I want you to say, "Let me charge my phone real quick." When you're ready to charge it, you remember: Pastor said, "I'm not aligned." And you just run out of the room.
That's conviction. You used to just do it. Now at least you feel bad about it. But God is taking you from just doing it, to feeling bad about it, to not wanting to do it at all. That's why you can testify: Things I used to do, I don't do no more. Places I used to go, I don't go no more. People who used to look good to me don't look good no more.
In Part One, I taught you how to release people. There are some people—both good and bad—that might need to be released. Everybody you need to release isn't always bad.
I love my kids with every fiber of my being. My greatest joy in life is being their daddy. At the same time, this next six weeks are so hard for me because I'm having to cut Mason off—that's my dog. We roll deep. We text each other all day sending reals.
But in three months, Xander and Mike are going to college. Mason will be the oldest in the house—he's probably the most spoiled. Xander takes out the trash. Mike does everything. Mason walks in late. But now instead of hearing daddy say how great he is, I'm saying, "Mace, you need to get this room right. Come on, man. Nobody's going to want a nasty dorm room. Your roommate won't want that."
He looks at me like I'm getting on his nerves, but I'm trying to develop him. I'm trying to show him that love or not, in 12 months, he's got to release me. He can't be successful while still dependent on me.
Many of you think you only cut off people who are bad. In certain seasons, you also have to remove people who've been good because their goodness has been crippling.
Michael, you don't pray for yourself because they're always praying for you. Every time you pray on the phone, they leave the prayer. Why won't you pray? This season of being a handicapped, immature, spoiled Christian is dead. Be the king and queen God called you to be. It's your season to become.
Last week, I said you've got to release people. Part Two, I'm trying to teach you how to respond when those very people start talking. I rarely see people who have been released go silently. If you can't handle what they're going to say, it will keep you stuck where you are.
Becoming is not about managing voices. It's about mastering responses. It's not my job to manage who's going to say what. It's my job to master what I respond to. It's not what you're called. It's what you answer to.
You're out here about to fight, and someone says, "Did you hear what they said to me?" And I ask, "Why did you respond?" You do not become by silencing people. You become by stabilizing yourself.
This is going to be the year you're better. You're trying to be better, but now they're talking about how you're acting funny. Put this in your notes: Let them talk. Why? Because your enemies ain't pathetic, they're prophetic.
You're arguing with them because you think they're pathetic. But if you view them as being prophetic, you'll start praising. Everything they say about you may be prophecy. They say, "Got the job now. They walk around here like they run the place." So what you're saying is I got boss anointing on me, right? That's what you're saying.
Driving this little hoopty like it's a Mercedes. So what you're really saying is you can see me in a 2026 Mercedes? They say, "He's always with them, acting like that ain't your husband." Oh, so you think we got potential, huh?
Noise is confirmation that movement is happening. You don't talk about people who ain't doing stuff. You don't bother people who are on your level. If they're talking, it's proof that some moving is taking place.
I expect people to talk about you when you're doing better than them and they make more than you. It's God. People can't handle when you level up. Silence never attacks growth.
Every time something happens, my name comes up. I'm sitting home like I never did that. Every time skits come out, all types of stuff. I'm sitting there like, "What? Pastor Mike Jr.?" And then all of a sudden, y'all are on TikTok. Somebody puts my picture up. And I'm like, "Yo, what I do?"
But the Holy Spirit said, "Mike, when you're moving at a certain level, chatter happens. You're so busy focusing on what they're saying, not where they're saying it from." You're so busy on what they're saying, not where they're saying it from.
Seven of y'all need to go back and say, "I can't hear you from up here." In order for me to go back and forth, that means I've got to come down to your level and argue with you. I'm not coming down for nobody.
Silence never attacks growth. You are rarely criticized for your potential. Think about that. When somebody tells you they want to start a business and you say, "Oh, that'll be so good because you always do your thing," they celebrate it. Everybody wants to validate your potential.
Jesus. Who is that over there? Oh, that's Jesus. Hosanna! Hosanna! They shout when it's prophesied. But they're going to kill you when it manifests. They rarely criticize your potential, but they will criticize your progress.
They don't mind y'all sleeping together. They can't stand y'all actually living right together. In your group text, when y'all are acting a fool, y'all celebrate each other. "They're going to stop playing with us. We're going out again tonight." But then, "What are we doing this weekend? Oh, me and so-and-so are going somewhere." And suddenly, "Y'all starting to sound alike."
They didn't mind when you were acting a fool. They like the thought of who you could become. They can't handle the reality of you becoming it. They like the thought of who you could become, but a lot of people can't handle the reality of you becoming it.
When Nehemiah was rebuilding the wall, Sanballat and Tobiah heard that the wall was being rebuilt, and they mocked and ridiculed him. They didn't mock him when the wall was down. They mocked him when he started building. Walls always attract mockers because walls signal territory, and territory threatens trespassers.
You tell me you have too many walls. No, you had the wrong walls. Walls define boundaries. But be careful because boundaries provoke backlash. This is the perfect time in January to create boundaries—walls.
Some of you don't have enough walls in your life. You let people do whatever they want to do. Where there are no walls, everybody has access. That's why you're frustrated with people checking you—because you never set boundaries. Anybody can say anything to you.
What walls do you have in your relational life? Can everybody speak on your marriage? You've talked about your marriage to so many people that now that you're actually doing good and you want to celebrate, you get mad because they don't celebrate with you. All you brought them was negativity. So now you feel like nobody wants y'all to win when all they ever heard was how y'all lost. Because your marriage never had walls.
What walls do you have in your finances? Can anybody just know how much money you have and how much money you make? That's a wall you need to build.
What walls do you have in your spiritual life? There are certain conversations I'm not in. You don't know how many people call me trying to have debates. "Pastor Mike, I was looking at John..." I don't care. Believe what you want to believe. I'm not going to sit in a one-on-one and debate with somebody who's convinced they're right.
I tell you what, I'm going to let you believe what you want to believe, and I'm going to believe what I want to believe, and let's just see what happens. I'm a defender of faith, not an apologist of the text.
What walls do you have in your personal life? Everybody can't come to my house. Everybody can't come around my children. Everybody can't come in my personal space. Where there are no walls, everybody has access.
Anytime you define who has access, someone who benefited from your openness will always protest your growth. I want you to write down various areas of your life and write under them who has access to them. You're going to be shocked. Don't lie to yourself.
Whoever you talked to about it, you gave them de facto access whether you know it or not. When it comes to your personal life, who has access? Your romantic life, who has access? Your spiritual walk with Christ, who has access? If you're not careful, people will try to talk you out of purpose.
Mockery is often the language of those who lost access. Nehemiah didn't get mocked while the walls were broken. He got mocked when the rebuilding started. You are in a season of rebuilding. I pray you can receive that.
Over the next 90 to 120 days—probably this whole year—I want to be thought-provoking. I want you to hear the word, feel a level of conviction, and then go home and begin to think. Thinking hurts. When I start thinking and examining my life and seeing the places where I could be better, it brings up emotions and feelings that feel like failure. But it's just an MRI—it's just showing you what's there.
You go home and realize, "Oh my God, I talk too much." Once you see you've talked to 15 people, it makes you realize, "Father God, I repent." I want you to grow to a place where you can look at a person and say, "Come here. I want to say this to you. I repent early on. I let too many people between us, and it caused us way more pain than we should have caused. But I want us both to make a promise today: a wall is going up. Mama can't ask me certain stuff. Daddy can't ask me certain stuff. I love y'all, but y'all can't be in this right here. I'm ready to be what God called me."
Walls do not offend the faithful, but they will expose the entitled. If you're going to become, you're going to have to identify the entitled. You're going to have to identify those who are exceptionally entitled. There are people who feel like they are entitled to certain levels of access in your life. That is not biblical or practical.
Even Jesus looked at the disciples and said, "Y'all go ahead and go. I need a minute by myself." He had the 12, then he had the 3, because even though he had a good 12, all of them couldn't handle all of him.
A wall is not rejection. But it is revelation. It reveals who benefited from your vulnerability. It reveals who preferred your openness without accountability. It reveals who mistook your grace for permission.
Matthew 7:6 says, "Don't waste what is holy on people who are unholy. Don't throw your pearls to pigs. They will trample the pearls, then turn and attack you." Not everyone who hears you is assigned to handle you. Just because they're listening doesn't mean they were assigned to handle you.
Criticism is often proof you stepped out of agreement with small thinking. If everyone understands you, you might be underdeveloped. If everyone understands you, you may be underdeveloped. And if no one resists you, you may be underbuilt.
Let them talk while you build. They're going to have a lot to say.
I'm speaking this over your life, and I pray you can receive it: Failure is not an option for you this year. God told me that he is opening doors for you this year. What you allow to distract you or your lack of boundaries is what's going to pull you out of his presence.
I am in a season of rebuilding. And rebuilding isn't negative. That doesn't mean failure. Who's changed your bedspread recently? Did your old sheets fail? No. Rebuilding don't mean you failed. Sometimes it's just time. It's just time.
I had to rebuild how I communicate with my oldest son. He's 19 now. Me telling him what to do had to change. I had to rebuild to now asking him. I had to rebuild to understand I'm on the outside of certain boundaries. As I act right toward that, you know what happens? He opens up more to me.
In your head, they're babies. But that's a man now. I've got to respect him as such. And as I act right, he respects me in return.
As I act right toward my son, you know what happens? He respects me in return. I don't get offended when he found somebody else to pour his heart to. Instead, I trusted God's vision for his life. I saw nine years ago that he would need a village around him, so I put the village in place.
Now I need to let the village be the village. That's part of rebuilding—understanding that my role changes as circumstances change.
What I'm really realizing now is that I'm in a complete rebuild of my life. I don't know who I am outside of being their daddy. I don't know who I am outside of going to football practices. So now I'm sitting here asking myself: "Okay, it's time to rebuild. What more can I become?"
The questions become essential: What do I need to let go of? What needs to change in me? The me last year is not going to work this year.
I speak over your life—not that God will do, because that's already settled—but that you will do what is necessary for God's will to bless you. There's a difference. God has already made His promise. Now it's your responsibility to take the action required.
Father, in the name of Jesus, I speak by faith a level of conviction to become all that you've called them to be. I pray that those who leave this place think to themselves: "God, I'm ready. I am ready to step into the fullness of who you called me to be."
Father, in the name of Jesus, pour out your spirit on us. Move in ways like never before. It's in Jesus' name we pray.
You may need to give your life to Christ right now. You may need to rededicate your life. That's just rebuilding. That's falling in love with Jesus. The best thing I've ever done.
Right where you are, repeat after me: "Lord, come into my heart. Make me over again. I confess with my mouth. I believe with my heart that you rose from the dead with all power in your hand. And right now, by faith I'm saved."
That's all it takes.
