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As For Me and My House
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Today's discussion centers on the home and family—not exclusively for women, but for everyone. Rather than a traditional sermon, this is a Q&A format drawn from questions submitted by the congregation, which allows for a more authentic and genuine conversation.
We are launching a new sermon series called "As For Me and My House" that will run for the next five or six weeks. This series focuses on family and the household, and we encourage everyone to lean in. While no family is perfect, God's Word has much to say about these matters.
This declaration comes from the Book of Joshua, where we find one of Scripture's most powerful statements about family commitment and faith.
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Joshua is a legendary figure in Scripture—arguably the greatest military general in the entire Bible. Yet his journey begins with an enormous challenge: following Moses, an iconic leader who guided Israel out of slavery in Egypt. When Moses passes away, God calls Joshua to lead the people into the promised land.
God says to Joshua:
"Be strong and courageous because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their ancestors to give them. Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Keep this book of the law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful." (Joshua 1)
What comforts us in this passage is the promise that God is a generational God. He was with the generation before us, He is with us now, and He will be with generations long after us. God promises Joshua—and promises us—that He will never leave us and never forsake us.
God will do this same thing to you that He did to Joshua. There will be moments when the Lord taps you on the shoulder and asks you to step out in faith. God is clear: I'm going to do amazing things in and through your life, but it's going to require strength and courage.
We often say in our home: When God demands more of you, it's because He sees more in you. God may call you to step out in areas that seem daunting or uncertain, but take heart—God will be with you and see you through.
Every single one of us has a calling on our life. God has a design, purpose, and plan for you. However, your calling will often have you questioning your capacity: Do I have what it takes? God specializes in bringing men and women to the end of themselves so they can experience His full ability.
The road to confidence weaves through confusion. As you establish a sure foundation and understand who you are in relationship with God, the journey will include questions, uncertainty, and even bouts of insecurity and doubt. But if you can navigate those seasons of confusion, you will discover God's ability to hardwire a rock-solid confidence—a sure confidence in your identity and His plan for your life.
Joshua had this same struggle. God said to him, Be strong and courageous; I will be with you just as I was with Moses. But Joshua still wondered, What happens next? God, in His tenderness and mercy, gives us one detail at a time. We see throughout Joshua's story God's remarkable track record, His faithfulness, and His credibility to uphold every promise He makes.
At the end of Joshua's life, recorded in Joshua 24, Joshua addresses the nation of Israel for the last time. He summarizes their journey, recounts all God has done, and speaks to the ways they have failed and wavered. Then he makes this declaration:
"Now fear the Lord and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your ancestors worshipped beyond the Euphrates River and in Egypt and serve the Lord. But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." (Joshua 24:14-15)
This statement comes with some swagger. The mindset is: Regardless of what others do and regardless of what the world endorses, as for me and my house, we are Team Jesus. We will devote our lives to serving Him.
The overarching idea we want to land is this: Great families don't happen by chance; they happen by choice. God can and will do amazing things in and through your life, but you have to choose for your family who you will serve and how faithful you will be.
We often say: A car in neutral never rolls uphill. Great families don't happen accidentally. That said, great families are still filled with accidents and imperfections. We come up short all the time.
Consider this: when your perspective on your decisions broadens, your decisions and behaviors improve. Don't just do something nice for Mom—consider how it affects Dad. Don't just do the right thing for your sibling—consider how it affects your parents. Don't just do the right thing for your parents—consider how it affects your siblings. Don't just do the right thing for your children—consider how it affects your grandchildren.
When you broaden your perspective on a decision, it improves your decision-making and behavior. A great question for all of us to constantly pray is: God, what is Your vision for our home? We often make this statement: Lord, would you give us a bigger vision to see a better version of our home, our marriage, how we're raising our kids, and what the generations to come would look like?
One of the most powerful vision passages for the Christian home comes from Deuteronomy 6:9:
"The commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them to your foreheads. Write them on the door frames of your house and on your gates."
Godly homes understand three things: symbols, speech, and surroundings.
Decorate your home with symbols that represent your faith. Decorate with hobbies, teams, and interests—but make sure you have symbols that show your house is a faith-filled home and that God is represented in it.
Consider how often you bring up the Lord in conversation. Do you talk about God only on Sundays, or is He part of your daily conversations? When your kids come home with a problem or struggle, ask: How do you think Jesus would handle that? What does the Bible say about it? Bring Jesus naturally into every conversation so that when you're not with your children, they know to talk to Him.
Audit the environments your family occupies. Are there environments that support your faith and environments that challenge it? Surround your family in Godly environments where their faith can thrive and grow. A recent study showed that the average Christian in America now attends church only once a month. It's really hard to generate spiritual momentum with sporadic church attendance and difficult to see God's work in your family if you don't place yourself in environments that support and foster greater faith and understanding of God's will.
Inspire your children to follow Jesus; don't force them. This comes with a completely different approach to presenting the gospel. Ask yourself: Are you trying to scare people into faith, or is your life with Christ compelling others to lean in with curiosity?
This may sound old-fashioned, but we've lost a basic understanding of what decency, courtesy, gratitude, and respect look like. We want the little humans we're responsible for to be decent human beings—respectful, courteous, and honoring of their elders. These virtues matter, and the world desperately needs decent individuals who are good to other people. We want to send out into our communities people who are part of the solution, not part of the problem.
Your children are growing up and developing their own theology—their own understanding of God and how they engage in their relationship with Him. This is worth noticing and considering as they mature in their faith.
Many people look at God's Word the way someone might look at an airplane's tiny landing wheels—viewing it as insignificant compared to its task. But just as those small wheels safely catch hundreds of tons moving at hundreds of miles per hour, God's Word is the surest foundation available to any one of us. It is sharper than a double-edged sword; it is living and active.
Scripture warns us:
"For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching but, having itching ears, they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions. So they will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths." (2 Timothy 4:3-4)
It's easy to find teachers who will support your opinions if you don't like what you hear. But there is something solid about anchoring your life in the Word of God.
We say often in our home: God's boundaries for your life are God's blessings for your life. We want our kids to grow up understanding and appreciating the gift that is conviction. Conviction is not guilt—it is guidance. It is God's mercy and the Holy Spirit's ability to come alongside you, tapping you on the shoulder, pointing you in the right direction.
Proverbs speaks beautifully about this:
"My son, do not forget my teachings, but keep my commands on your heart, for they will prolong your life many years and bring you peace and prosperity. Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck and write them on tablets of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man. Trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." (Proverbs 3:1-6)
Then you will win favor and a good name. The word "win" implies there's a contest—and there is. Life will challenge you and contest you. But if you stay the course and maintain your integrity through it all, eventually you will earn favor and a good name. It may take time, because people need convincing, but it will come.
The word "win" in Proverbs 3:4 implies there's a contest—and there is. Life will challenge you and contest you. But if you stay the course and maintain your integrity through it all, eventually you will earn favor and a good name. It may take time, because people need convincing, but it will come.
Jesus is perhaps the greatest example of this dynamic. Scripture says Jesus came full of grace and truth. What we discover in the life of Jesus is that love attracts a lot of hate and truth attracts a lot of lies. If you're going to live anchored in the truth and living for the truth, just know that it comes with an unexpected resistance for many people—especially early on in their relationship with Jesus Christ.
It's about learning to anchor yourself in integrity and anchor yourself in the truth. Peter said in 1 Peter 3:16: "keeping a clear conscience...so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander." A clear conscience is the secret to a good night's sleep, and integrity is the key to a clear conscience. You don't have to have a good memory—you just stand in the truth and don't have to run around trying to keep it all together.
When talking about the truth, we have to acknowledge and accept that not a single one of us is perfect. We all come up short and make mistakes. Peter Marshall captured this beautifully in prayer: "Lord where we are wrong make us willing to change...and where we are right make us easy to live with." Don't be the type of person who swells up in pride with the "I told you so" moments. Just live humbly in the truth.
Next in our house, we want to choose faithfulness. Hebrews 10:23 says: "let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful."
Billy Graham has a powerful quote: "The greatest legacy one can pass on to one's children and grandchildren is not money or other material things accumulated in one's life, but rather a legacy of character and faith." We tell our kids that life with Christ is not about going the fastest—it's about going the furthest. Living a faithful life takes your whole life. You can't be a Christian who's faithful when it's good but unfaithful when it's bad. You need to be faithful no matter what season of life you're in.
Faithfulness is a long obedience in the same direction. It's long, and you're going the same direction your entire life. Jesus said some of the most uncomfortable things about discipleship. He would tell people to consider the decision they were making, not to impulsively jump into it, but to actually think it through.
In Luke 14, Jesus asked: "For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost whether he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him." Tragically, we see a lot of people throwing in the towel on their faith. The challenge is to think more critically and plan accordingly: if I'm going to live for Christ, I'm going to do it for the rest of my life. I'm committing to a life of faithfulness.
Miles, who is now eleven, wanted to be an engineer starting at age five or six. Recently we found out his school offers a robotics club starting next year. I got excited and said, "Buddy, you're going to be like the next Iron Man—you're going to be building robots!" But he immediately pushed back: "I don't want to build them. All you old people are building all these robots and AI stuff, and then you're going to die and leave the rest of us with a world full of robots. I want to know how to beat them. I want to know how to shut them off when you guys are gone."
It was hilarious, but he's planning for the future. If you're going to live a life for Christ, you just have to plan for the future.
For our household, we also want to choose joy. I want my kids to come home and feel it's safe and joyful for them. Scripture tells us that joy is one of the fruits of the Spirit, which is interesting because throughout my years of ministry, I'm surprised by how few people view joy as a mark of spiritual maturity.
I think most people believe joyful people have easier lives—that they're just joyful because they're not going through anything. But we're all going through something; no one is exempt from a hard and difficult life. Some of the strongest people you'll ever meet are the ones who have a smile on their face because they're going through it just like you, but they're able to hold that joy and see past their circumstances.
Joy is not immature—joy is impressive. It's a hard thing to pull off. C.S. Lewis, who wrote The Chronicles of Narnia and many theology and philosophy books, once said: "Joy is the serious business of Heaven." God cares deeply about your joy. In fact, he sent Jesus Christ. The first announcement of his son's arrival was "Joy to the World."
This is a great gift to you and me because joy is not something we develop—joy is something Jesus delivered. It's not something you and I achieve; it's simply something we receive in Christ. We have anchored ourselves not to a fleeting emotion like happiness, but to something greater: joy. And joy is a choice—it's an outlook, and your outlook often determines the outcome.
Hebrews 12 says: "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of our faith. For the joy set before him, he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."
This is such an interesting thing: Christ endured the cross for the joy set before him. You have to be able to look past your fleeting and changing circumstances and anchor yourself to something deeper and greater. It is represented in Christ and can be replicated in our lives if we take him at his word.
If you have no joy, there's a leak in your Christianity. Life comes with challenges, but God's faithfulness and all the ways in which he is good to us should overshadow those things. Proverbs 17:22 says: "A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones."
When you go through hard times and your family faces trials, what you discover is those who enjoy being together can endure tough times together. When there is equity built up within the family and household—when you have the ability to enjoy being around one another—you have the ability to then endure tough times with one another.
Lastly, for our house, we want to choose peace. The Bible says a lot about peace, and we can boil it down to three categories: peace with God, peace with ourselves, and peace with others. I want my home to be a place where my kids feel safe and at peace, no matter what they're going through—where I can help them find peace with God, peace with themselves, and peace with others.
Jack Willman said it this way: "No one can have peace of God until they have peace with God." And here's the good news: because of what Christ has done for us on the cross, we can have peace with our Heavenly Father. God has extended peace to all of us. All we have to do is receive the peace that is found through Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior. He gives it to us; he grants it to us.
Philippians 4:6-7 says: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your request to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your heart and your mind in Jesus Christ."
When you bump into a concept in the Bible, ask: what is this being associated with? When you bump into peace, ask what peace is being associated with in that context and narrative. What you'll find throughout the Bible is peace is not so much associated with comfort—it's associated with courage.
When you have peace within your heart—when you know you've been reconciled to God through the finished work of the cross, when you've been robbed of your shame and don't have to carry guilt and feelings of lack of worth and self-deprecation—and when you have peace with yourself and fully received God's forgiveness and redemption in your life, you're now living as a conduit of that peace and grace towards other people. This actually produces courage in your life to go out there peacefully, being true to yourself and true to the God that you serve.
In the Sermon on the Mount, Matthew 5, Jesus said: "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God." One of the surest signs that you and I are on our way to heaven, one of the surest signs that you and I are a child of the Most High King, is that we are peacemakers.
The world is full of peace breakers—people who are disruptive, divisive, and deceptive. The world is also full of peace fakers—individuals with malicious intent who disguise it. Scripture would call them wolves in sheep's clothing. But we are called to be peacemakers: individuals who represent Christ and his reconciliation in the world. It's a beautiful thing.
You can't force a person to make a decision—you choose for yourself. But maybe, just maybe, you'll find the benefit of anchoring your life to Christ.
