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Leading with Love at Life's Crossroads
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Welcome to Bayside. I'm Charlotte Gambill, and it's an honor to be here as part of your church family. You've been in a series on the foundations of leadership, and today I want to help you lead in an area where many of us struggle: leading relationally well.
Here's the truth: if you call yourself a leader but no one wants to follow you, you're just taking a walk. Leadership means people want to follow you. Jesus modeled this perfectly. He didn't compromise truth or water down His message, yet people were drawn to Him. Why? Because Jesus led with love.
Today, I want to ask you: Are you loving well so that you can lead well?
Many of you came in here today facing a relational challenge—a conversation you need to have, a direction you're unsure about, a moment where one person wants to go left and another wants to go right. These are the intersections in life where you truly discover whether you're a good leader.
Anyone can lead when everything is going smoothly. But at the crossroads—when your flesh wants one thing and the Spirit wants another—that's when real leadership is tested.
God spoke to His people through the prophet Jeremiah about this very moment:
"Stand at the crossroads and look. Ask for the ancient paths. Ask where the good way is and walk in it. And you will find rest for your souls." (Jeremiah 6:16)
Let me break this down into three simple steps.
Stop before you step out.
We live in a fast-paced world. We eat fast, text fast, drive fast. But when you reach an intersection, you must slow down, or there will be a collision.
When I was in primary school in England, we learned the "Green Cross Code" for crossing roads: Stop. Look. Listen. Stop before you step onto the pavement. Look both directions—do you see a car? Listen—do you hear one coming? Only when it's clear do you cross.
The Holy Spirit is saying to some of you today: "Stop. Before you say what you're about to say. Before you tweet. Before you react with that teenager again—stop. I'm trying to save you from a collision."
Some of you young people are rushing into decisions. I know your hormones are raging, but passion will fade, and you'll live with consequences that could have been different if you'd just slowed down. Some of you in marriage want to retaliate. Are you really willing to live with words you can't take back?
Slow down. Pause. Listen. Look before you step into the traffic.
The Hebrew word for "ancient" in Jeremiah 6:16 is olam—meaning the everlasting way. A way that never grows old, never goes out of date, always relevant.
In our world, we're always grabbing the latest leadership guru's advice, the newest parenting method. But none of it compares to God's Word. It's tried and tested. It's everlasting.
There is actually a passage in the Bible called "the most excellent way." Let me read it to you:
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, it always trusts, it always hopes, it always perseveres. Love never fails." (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)
This is it. This is the sign you've been asking for. The most excellent way to lead is the way of love.
When you realize that God is love, this passage tells you exactly how God is. God is patient. God is kind. God keeps no record of wrongs. God never fails. That's why we follow Him. Even when He says difficult things, His love makes it possible to receive the truth.
Do you lead with patience? Not the kind where you grit your teeth and tap your toes, but genuine patience?
When your children make decisions you wouldn't make, when your spouse frustrates you, when your employees disappoint you—do you respond with patience?
Look at how God waits for us. In the parable of the prodigal son, the father doesn't chase after his son or wag a finger. He stands with arms extended, patiently waiting.
If you don't adopt a posture of patience, you create Ishmaels. Ishmael wasn't God's idea; he was born from impatience. And once you create an Ishmael, you have to support it. How many Ishmaels do you want to pay for? Instead, be patient and wait for the Isaac God has for you.
How does love sound? Kind.
Kindness is attractional. It changes your tone. It changes the way you speak and act. Kindness always sees the person before the problem.
Jesus saw Zacchaeus in the tree—a thief, a sinner—but He called him by name. He didn't respond as Zacchaeus deserved. He spoke with kindness, and kindness changed everything.
Are you a boss? Do you see your employees as people or projects? When someone sees you as a person, you want to follow them. When they see you as a project, you want to leave.
Kindness sees the person before the project.
You must become fluent in something many of us struggle with: forgiveness.
When Steve and I first married, I couldn't say the word "sorry." I knew I was right. I kept a filing system of his wrongs—chapter and verse. I could tell you the day he said something dumb, what I was wearing, exactly how it made me feel. I could go back five, six years with evidence.
But then I realized: If God didn't keep a record of my wrongs, how do I have the audacity not to forgive?
God doesn't open a file and say, "Let me remind you of all the ways you've sinned." He wipes them away as far as the east is from the west. His love covers us.
Keeping a record of wrongs keeps you stuck in the past. The more you walk in unforgiveness, the more you walk in anger, bitterness, and dishonor. Walking in forgiveness frees you to move forward.
It doesn't mean what they did was right. It doesn't mean you ignore harm. It means you choose not to let unforgiveness poison your future.
Love always protects. Love always trusts. Love always hopes. Love always perseveres. Love never fails.
Some of you are about to make a dumb choice—not because it's right, but because you're tired. You're worn out. You think it's easier to quit than to carry on.
I lived in the English countryside with windy roads and snowy winters. My sporty car was great in summer but terrible in winter—it had no grip on snow. Did I trash the car? No. I took it to the mechanic, and we put on winter tires with better traction. Then I could drive again.
The problem wasn't the vehicle. It was the tires. You just need to change your approach for the season.
Your kids are driving you crazy? Change your tires. Find a different conversation. Pray harder. Some of you dread family gatherings because you know everyone will fire off comments and start drama. You normally get sucked in, and then you and your spouse argue about it for weeks afterward.
You don't have to get sucked in. In the middle of that chaos, change your tires. Don't retaliate. Be patient. Persevere. Love protects and love is true.
There's a way, and it's the most excellent way. They may bait you. They may try to drag you in. But if you're going to lead well, you're going to love well.
Jeremiah doesn't just say "ask for the ancient paths." He says: "Ask where the good way is and walk in it. And you will find rest for your souls."
Many of you are restless. A vacation this summer won't fix the ache in your soul. Escaping won't make it go away.
The only way to find rest is to walk differently than you did before.
You can take a photograph of the sign. You can see it clearly. But then you have to walk in it. When you're tempted to go the wrong way, you have to hold yourself to account and walk in the most excellent way.
I believe God wants to give some of you the best rest you've ever had this summer. Not dependent on your vacation spot or the weather. Dependent on a choice you make with God:
"God, I realize I've been going the wrong way. There are conversations going in the total wrong direction. I'm going to do a U-turn this summer and walk differently."
When you walk in anger, dishonor, frustration, and self-seeking, it's easy to contemplate quitting. When you walk in love, forgiveness, kindness, and hope, it's hard to quit.
God wants to help you lead well by learning to love well.
Your family needs it. Your marriage needs it. Your own soul needs it.
You asked God for a sign. He's given you one. You might not like it, but it's the everlasting way. It's clear. There's no ambiguity. It's everywhere around you.
If you're here today and you know you've been going the wrong way—if you've been separated from God for some time—God's posture is just like the Father's in the parable of the prodigal son. His arms are extended. His heart is open.
All you have to do is turn around.
If you need to say yes to Jesus today, if you need to turn back to God and ask for forgiveness, this moment is for you. As eyes are closed, if that's you, just lift your hand. I'm going to pray, and you make this your own:
God, I come to you today and ask for forgiveness. I'm aware I've been going the wrong way, but today I slow down and I choose you. I choose to surrender. I choose to ask for forgiveness. I choose to go the most excellent way. Thank you for meeting me with your grace, forgiveness, love, and mercy. Thank you for salvation and transformation. Help me walk in the way of love that follows. In Jesus' name, Amen.
