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Part 5 of 8
Human-ology Series, Part 4
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Let me start with a statement that may seem simple, but is deeply significant: Missing something you think you should have caught isn't always a sign of deficiency. Sometimes, it's a sign of humanity.
Spiritual development does not mean perfect discernment. Having discernment means you see more things—but it does not mean you see all things. Being close to God makes you more like God, but it never makes you God. Therefore, you and I can be spiritual and still be surprised. We can be discerning and still be duped. We can be biblically literate and still end up blindsided.
I want to be very clear about my intention here. I am intentionally, assertively, and aggressively attempting to expose and address a theological assumption that many people unconsciously operate with: the belief that being spirit-filled means you're surprise-proof. This is the false assumption that because you are godly, you possess all of God's attributes. But the scriptures make clear that some attributes are exclusively retained by God.
One of these attributes is omniscience—the ability to see all things and know all things. We don't have that.
"The secret things belong to God." — Deuteronomy 29:29
No matter how prayerful, prudent, or perceptive you are, you will find yourself experiencing predicaments that you couldn't predict. You're going to look up one day and be experiencing:
All of us will have to face something we didn't predict. Fight something we didn't predict. Carry something we didn't predict. Bear something we didn't predict.
And after you're praying and fasting, after you're turning your plate down, you're still going to step into a season where you look around and say, "I'm surprised."
It is imperative and essential that every believer serious about their spiritual formation journey understand and embrace this truth: no matter how evolved you become, you will never outgrow imperfect discernment. While we may have effective discernment, we do not have infallible or inherent discernment.
As a matter of fact, no matter how close we are to the Master, there will be some things we will miss. The Master has made it clear: "I know all things, but I never promised I would tell you all things."
"I know the plans I have for you." — Jeremiah 29:11
He didn't say, "You know." "I know the plans I have for you."
Every disciple needs to be developed on how to win in seasons you didn't see coming. Because if not, we will end up being fragile, breakable, unproductive believers who can only prosper when things go the way you plan.
There is an erroneous assumption that spiritual development gives you perfect discernment. But omniscience is relegated to God. So I've got to learn how to handle seasons I didn't see coming. I need to be discipled on what to do when things don't go as planned.
There are three ways to handle seasons and situations that don't go as planned.
Culture's way is emotional reactivity. This is when an individual becomes overwhelmed and intoxicated emotionally to the degree that they begin to act unwisely.
When the Bible talks about being sober-minded, it is not just talking about alcohol. It is referring to what is influencing your mind and your actions. When we are overwhelmed or intoxicated emotionally, sometimes it provokes us and prompts us to act unwisely. It's being imprisoned with panic that is rooted in the assumption that just because things didn't go as planned, it doesn't mean that God can't fulfill his plan.
So instead of responding with wisdom, we respond with emotion. And when this happens, we turn what should have been disruptions into disasters.
An Example: King Saul's Impulsive Decision
An example of emotional reactivity is found in 1 Samuel 13. There's a king named Saul who is under the mentorship of a judge named Samuel. Samuel says to Saul:
"What have you done?" And Saul replied, "When I saw the men was scattering and that you didn't come down at the set time and that the Philistines were assembling, I thought the Philistines are going to come down against me at Gilgal. So, I have not sought the Lord's favor. So, I felt compelled." — 1 Samuel 13:11
Notice this: he said, "I felt compelled." We can feel compelled and confuse compelled with being led. A lot of times we're saying "I feel in my spirit," when what's actually happening is what you're feeling is in your soul, not your spirit.
The Difference Between Soul and Spirit
"For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any two-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow." — Hebrews 4:12
The writer of Hebrews is saying your soul and your spirit are intertwined like joints and marrow. Sometimes it's difficult to tell the difference between the two. So I need the word to actually divide and differentiate: Is this God or me?
Some of us trust our feelings too much. Sometimes it takes the word for us to see if what I'm feeling is actually me in my soul or God in the spirit.
I don't care how strong our feelings are. Here's what the Bible says: the heart is deceitful. It'll have you feeling strong about something wrong. If you look back at your relational track record, you should be able to admit you can feel strong about who was wrong.
When you don't understand this, you'll call every outer body prompting "God." You will call every red light "discernment." But some of what you were calling discernment is paranoia. You are traumatized. And the reason I know your discernment has been hijacked by trauma is you can only discern threats.
You can discern a threat, but you can't discern an opportunity. You can discern who's not supposed to be in your life, but you can't discern who is supposed to be in your life and who you need to treat right. Because if they step out of your life, there's no guarantee you'll get anybody like that back in your life.
The Consequences of Emotional Reactivity
Saul said, "I felt compelled." This is emotional reactivity. He sees a threat in the Philistines. He wants divine favor through the spiritual discipline of offering a burnt offering. But Samuel didn't come back at the set time. So because this is not happening according to his time frame, and because he sees a threat coming, instead of acting in wisdom and waiting on somebody authorized to offer the burnt offering, he feels compelled to step out of his lane of authority and responsibility because he is in fear over a threat and anxious because Samuel isn't meeting his timeline.
Look what the Bible says:
"You have done a foolish thing. You have not kept the command of the Lord that he gave you. If you had, he would have established your kingdom over Israel for all time. But now your kingdom will not endure. The Lord has sought out a man after his own heart and appointed him ruler of his people because you have not kept the Lord's commands." — 1 Samuel 13:13-14
Saul lost the kingdom in chapter 13, not over immorality, but over impulsiveness. God said, "I cannot have a man seated in a position of power who is this emotionally immature." Emotional reactivity cost him opportunities he had the ability to take advantage of. This is culture's way.
Then there's church's way: spiritual bypassing. This is the tendency to use spiritual language to avoid emotional processing and take personal responsibility.
This leads to rehearsing religious rhetoric like "God's in control" without reflecting on what you feel. It's sharing religious platitudes without properly processing pain. So people actually underestimate their pain using spiritual language.
Spiritual bypassing shows up all throughout scripture. God used Jeremiah to correct spiritual leaders who were contributing to this:
"They dress the wound of my people as though it was not serious. 'Peace, peace,' they say, 'when there is no peace.'" — Jeremiah 6:14
When people fail to properly process their pain or disappointment, they call their passivity "trust in God" when it's really paralyzed faith. Your whole life plan is disrupted, but you're acting like you're all right because we taught you to say "God's in control." You don't like a thing that's going on right now. But now you've got to sit and look Christians in the face and lie and call it faith talk.
"How you doing?" "I'm good." No, you're not. You're mad, you're frustrated, you're disappointed, you're confused, you're angry, you're wounded. You feel betrayed. You feel like you should be further along at this point in your life. And we have curated a caricature of God that cannot handle your emotional honesty.
Instead of saying, "How are you doing?" and hearing "Mad. Confused."—we've made it shameful to tell the truth about our pain. This is church's way.
But there's a third way—the King's way. And it is a sanctified pivot.
"Encourage one another daily." — Hebrews 3:13
A sanctified pivot is the ability to acknowledge the dilemma, adjust your direction without abandoning your devotion.
I didn't see it coming, but watch me pivot. I didn't know I was going to be here, but watch me pivot. I got tears in my eyes, but watch me pivot.
You think this is the only way God can do it? You think this is the only way God can get you there? You think this is the only door He can use? You think those are the only people He can use to bless you? No. Pivot.
Watch me pivot. Watch me pivot. He's still going to do it. Still going to make the way. Still going to get me there. Still going to open the door. Still going to fulfill my calling. Watch me pivot.
An example of a sanctified pivot is seen in Mark 6.
Jesus had what was called an itinerant ministry—he went from place to place, various cities and regions engaging in ministry. Mark captures him going back to his hometown of Nazareth. He goes back and takes his disciples with him. He goes into the synagogue and begins to teach.
As he is teaching, watch what the text says:
"Many who heard him were amazed. They said, 'Where did this man get these things? What's this wisdom that has been given to him? What are these remarkable miracles he's performing? Isn't this the carpenter? Isn't this Mary's son? Isn't this the brother of James, Joseph, Judas, and Simon? Aren't his sisters here with us?' And they took offense at him." — Mark 6:2-3
I'm confused. Go back to verse 2. It says they were amazed. How do you go from amazed in verse 2 to offended in verse 3? They went from amazed in one verse to offended in the next. Which is why it's irresponsible to have your sense of self tied into the opinions of people. Because they'll shift in a verse.
What Was the Source of Their Offense?
The questions they asked tell us the source of the offense. They had no problem with what he said—they said, "Where did he get this wisdom?" And they were impressed by what he did—they said, "How's he performing these miracles?" But the offense was tied into who he was.
Notice, even their assessment of him was based on facts that were inaccurate. They said he was "the brother of James, Joseph, Judas, and Simon." But Joseph was his stepfather, and Judas and Simon were his disciples.
If people are going to draw an opinion of you, at least get your facts right. You don't have to like me—just dislike me for the right reason.
The Historical Context: Environmental Discipleship
Why does Mark tell us that Jesus went back to Nazareth? Nazareth was not known to be a city that produced high-functioning, highly productive people. As a matter of fact, when Jesus called one of his first disciples, the reputation of Nazareth was so complicated that Nathanael said, "Can any good thing come out of Nazareth?"
I've been working with this concept of environmental discipleship: how where you are, if you're not intentional, can unconsciously shape the way you think. There are some areas that disciple us in different ways. If we aren't intentional in identifying where I need to resist, I can end up unconsciously adopting mindsets and attitudes that are inconsistent with God's best, but they're normal for people where I'm from.
This is one expression of what the Apostle Paul calls in Ephesians a principality. Principalities can show up in areas, regions, or people groups because they have been synchronized with cultural norms. So it's normal in the culture. So you don't even know you're being discipled by the demonic.
Their response to Jesus suggests to me that the small nature of Nazareth was producing small-mindedness in the people there. You're so petty. You'll reject a miracle you need because it comes from somebody from where you're from. And because they no longer like who you are, you no longer like them.
Jesus' response is:
"A prophet is not without honor except in his own home and among his own people." — Mark 6:4
Their issue wasn't what was said—it was who said it. People will take offense at you when they refuse to update their understanding of who you are. He's more than the carpenter. He's the Christ.
Jesus' Own Surprise
And the text says he was amazed. Jesus was amazed. You know what that word means? Astonished. Marveled. He was surprised.
Here's the question: If Jesus is fully God and fully man, if he's fully God, he's omniscient. He knows all things. So how can you be surprised? How did these two truths exist in one person?
Philippians 2 tells us:
"Christ being in the very nature of God did not consider equality with God something to be used to his advantage. So, he made himself nothing by taking on the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness." — Philippians 2:6-7
The word for this is a Greek word called kenosis—the self-emptying of Christ. He didn't surrender his divinity. He surrendered the independent use of it in order to live a fully human life. So he chose to live within the limitations of humanity while remaining fully God.
When the text says he's surprised, it's not saying he lacked information. It's saying he chose to experience that moment as a human.
If he was surprised, what makes you think you're not going to step into seasons where you are surprised?
We live in an age of vision boards and strategic planning. I'm not anti any of that. I'm just telling you: after you get through cutting all those pictures out of magazines and putting them on that cardboard, your ability to win is going to be tied to your ability to handle seasons with people, problems, and possibilities that you didn't see coming.
What if I told you it's probably not going according to plan? For most of you, it's not going according to plan. But what if I told you everything doesn't have to go right for it to be all right?
The heart of this message is this: Some of us have unbiblical expectations of the way our discernment is supposed to work. And as a result, you've set a standard for yourself that God hadn't. So instead of living joyfully in the present season you're in, you keep retelling a narrative of what life would have been like if you'd done something different.
You're blinded to the beauty of the season you're in because you are imagining what it could have been if you'd done stuff differently. But the truth is, it took not doing stuff right to learn how to do it right.
Missed Signs and Imperfect Discernment
If you come from Nazareth and they didn't teach you money management, how do you expect to know how to manage money? You're killing yourself because you blew it. But how would you know what to do with it? They didn't teach you that in Nazareth.
Some of you are like, "Man, I hired this person. I let this person back into my life and I did this and I did that and I should have seen the signs and I missed the signs." But signs don't always mean what you think they mean. Sometimes you don't know if it's Judas or Peter until after. Some people betray you and they recover and they change and they give back. And some people don't.
Every symptom doesn't mean the same thing. If somebody starts coughing next to you, you like, "What up? Did you go on a cruise recently? What's going on?" They could have literally had something in their throat. So when you say "I missed the sign," remember: every sign doesn't mean what you think it means.
And sometimes you missed it not because you're naive—you're generous. You refuse to reduce people to the worst version of them. You're human. So sometimes you're going to pick wrong. You're going to hire wrong. You're going to invest wrong. Because you never outgrow imperfect discernment.
God's Grace in Your Missteps
But God, as he maps out his plan for your life, includes in his calculations your missteps. He releases and dispenses grace to make up the gaps between what you didn't know and what you wish you would have done. And he knows how, according to the counsel of his own will, to make everything all right even when everything didn't go right.
I have long since relieved myself from the pressure to be anything but a human submitted to the Father. I want to be wise. I want to learn from my mistakes. But I do not carry God's weight to make perfect decisions, to always discern motives, to always do things perfectly. As a human, I'm going to be surprised. But just because I am surprised doesn't mean God is.
I want you to sit with this idea: Holy Spirit, help me to live joyfully in the season that I'm in without imagining what it could have been. Because it couldn't be what I wanted it to be—because it took that to make me who I am now.
I wasn't the kind of person then that I am now. But it took my missteps to actually make me who I am.
So somebody's in a surprise season. Here's been my prayer all week because I'm in one. I've been asking the Lord: "Father, help me to joyfully surrender to a season I don't want to be in. Help me to do it because you want nothing grudgingly. You don't just reject a grudged offering—you reject a grudged yes.
I don't like this. And I'm surprised. But help me to live joyfully in a season that's a part of your plan for me even if it's not a part of mine."
