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Guarding Your Heart Series
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We're beginning a series of conversations this week that will continue next week. I want to reference the legendary Dikembe Mutombo, the Cameroonian basketball player known as the second-highest rated blocker in NBA history. He was famous for defending his zone—what he called "the Mutombo's house." People were terrified to challenge him there because it took exceptional skill to score when he was protecting that territory.
Today, I want to borrow that concept for our spiritual lives. When I say "Not In My House," I mean not in our hearts. I'm talking about building a wall around what we allow to influence us spiritually.
Let's look at Proverbs 4:23. The Amplified Classic says: "With all vigilance and above all that you guard, for out of it flow the springs of life." The Message translation puts it this way: "Keep vigilant watch over your heart—that's where life starts."
This is crucial to understand: If the devil can influence your heart, he can influence your life. If he can impact your heart, he can impact everything about you.
In Ephesians 4:32, we read: "Instead be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you."
Matthew 5:8 says: "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God."
When we talk about the heart in Scripture, we're not just talking about emotions. In biblical times, there was no conception of the brain as the seat of thought. Everything flowed from the heart. The Hebrew understanding was that the heart—this physical organ in your chest—was the source of life itself. They understood that the heart was:
When the Bible says to guard your heart, it means to guard the center of your being—the seat of your emotions, the machinery of your thinking, the place where you make your choices. Because we are not as logical as we think we are. Advertisers know this. They don't sell products based on logic; they sell them based on how you feel about them.
Jesus Himself guarantees offense. Luke 17:1 says: "Then he said to his disciples, 'It is impossible that no offenses should come.'" Jesus guarantees two things: salvation and offenses. Grace and offenses. Peace and offenses.
People are going to offend you. Your spouse will leave toothpaste splatters on the mirror. Your neighbor won't respond to your greeting. The barista will misspell your name. Your boss will embarrass you in front of everyone for something that wasn't even your fault. Your child will pop your gender reveal balloon. Someone will take the hot water before you shower.
The Greek word for offense is scandalon—it refers to a movable stick or the trigger of a trap. It's a stumbling block, an impediment placed in the way, causing one to stumble or fall.
Offense is a trap. I once saw a documentary about hunters in the wilderness. They trap baboons by making them thirsty and allowing the baboons to lead them to water sources. Here's how they do it: they put lumps of seeds in a hole where a baboon can see them. The baboon is curious, so it puts its hand in the hole and grabs the seeds. But now, with a closed fist full of seeds, the baboon cannot pull its hand out. If the baboon would simply let go of the seeds, it could escape. But the baboon holds on, and so it becomes trapped.
That's what offense is. When you hold on to the issue, it traps you. The longer you hold on to it, the more trapped you become. You have to let go to get away from the trap.
Offense is also a poison. If the enemy wants to poison everyone in a room, the hard work is to poison every individual cup. The easy work is to poison the source—the pitcher of water that everyone will drink from. Your heart is the source of your life, and the enemy's assignment is to poison it.
Matthew 12:15 warns: "Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up."
Here's the critical point: It's not the offense itself that is the primary problem—it's our reaction to it. Everybody has a mouth. People can say whatever they want. But when we become easily offended—when someone shares a different political view and we stop talking to them, when we take offense at small things—the enemy's goal is division. The target isn't them; the target is you. The offense is designed to stop you from what God has planned.
Consider this: your coworkers gossiping about you—that's not really about your reputation. Your ego might feel bruised, but the real target is your heart. The enemy wants to poison your heart so that you quarrel with everyone, and no one will speak well of you when it matters.
There's a beautiful and terrible story in Matthew 18. A king forgave a servant a massive debt. The servant was grateful and left, but then he found a fellow servant who owed him a much smaller amount. Instead of extending the same mercy, he had the man imprisoned.
When the king learned of this, he was furious. He said to the servant: "You contemptible and wicked attendant! I forgave and canceled all your great debts because you begged me to. Should you not have had pity and mercy on your fellow attendant?" The king then turned him over to the jailers to be tortured.
Jesus concluded: "So also will my heavenly father deal with everyone if you do not forgive from your heart."
This reveals something vital: Even though the abuse happened to your body, the target was your heart. Even though the mistake happened to your coffee order, the target was your heart. Even though the attack happened to you in traffic, the primary target of the enemy is your heart.
It might have happened 10 years ago when you were a child, or 25 years ago when you were very young. No matter what happened to your body, no matter how long ago it was, the enemy's aim was to poison your heart—to poison the source of all your relationships.
Matthew 5:8 says: "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God."
Notice this doesn't say "blessed are those with good experiences" or "blessed are those who haven't been hurt." Your perception of God is not determined by your eyes; it's determined by your heart. How you understand Scripture, how you receive God and see Him in your life, is not determined by your circumstances—it's determined by the story you tell yourself about God.
Many of us have a faulty story we tell ourselves about God. We think: God must not love me. Why did God create me? God didn't give me those gifts. God didn't make me like this. God doesn't care about me.
But here's the truth: If your heart is poisoned by unforgiveness, you cannot see God clearly. The word "see" in Scripture isn't just rudimentary visual perception—it's a beholding, a concentration, a true seeing.
Jeremiah 17:10 says: "I the Lord search the heart and test the mind, to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his doings." God doesn't just look at your actions; He looks at your heart and determines what your actions mean.
You can come to church, and God can see that your body is present but your heart is far away. You can praise God with your lips, but if your heart is far from Him, God knows it. The socket of the divine is your heart.
Jesus says there will be a constant supply of offense. For every recurrent need, there must be a recurrent system to meet it.
If you have bills every month, you need a job to meet them. If a baby is born and needs feeding, there is breast milk or formula. If we need sexual intimacy, God designed marriage. If we need connection and spiritual community, God designed the church. If our minds are bombarded by negativity, God gave us His Word to renew our minds daily. If we struggle to put God first, He gave us the tithe as a reminder that He is our source.
If there will be recurrent offense, then there must be a system to deal with it—and that system is forgiveness.
Matthew 18:21-22 tells us Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how often shall I forgive someone who sins against me?" Then Peter suggests: "Seven times?" Jesus replies: "Not seven times, but seventy times seven."
For those who like math, that's 490 times. Until the same driver cuts you off 490 times, smile. Until the same barista messes up your order 490 times, be gracious. If you have a spouse, two kids, and three best friends, we're talking about thousands of offenses you need to be ready to forgive.
What Jesus was saying is that your forgiveness must be ready to absorb any offense that comes.
To be ready to forgive when offense comes, your heart must be in a particular condition. The first condition is a tender heart.
Ephesians 4:31-32 says: "Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, slander, and all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you."
The word "tenderhearted" in Greek doesn't mean soft or mushy. It literally means "strong spleen" or "good bowels." In Hebrew and Greek thought, the organs—the heart, spleen, bowels—were understood as the seat of emotions and strength.
Scientifically, the spleen is part of your lymphatic system. It contains white blood cells and helps fight off infections and germs. Spiritually, "tenderhearted" means your heart is in such a healthy condition that no matter what offenses come, you are healthy enough to process and recover from them.
This is like immunization. When you receive a vaccine, a small amount of the virus—or a denatured part of it—is introduced into your body. This triggers your immune system to prepare armies of defense. When the real attack comes, your body is ready.
The offense of your brothers prepares you for your enemies. The insult from one person prepares you for the next challenge. David's brothers insulted him. Saul tried to harm him. Each offense was an immunization shot, preparing him for the next level. By the time he faced Goliath, he had been fortified by many smaller trials.
But most of us are taken out by the first shot. The barista's mistake sets us back. We miss out on blessings because we cannot handle small offenses.
Colossians 3:13 says: "Be even-tempered, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and as completely as the master forgave you."
Don't mess with the offense. Handle it, let it go, and move on. You can be upset—I'm not saying you can't feel hurt. But once you turn around, let it go. The offense will trap you if you keep holding on to it.
Sometimes you need a little distance. If you're not ready to talk to someone, don't pick up the phone. Create space until your heart is in a better place. But make sure your heart eventually heals and lets go.
The second condition is a pure heart.
Every attack of the enemy is designed to poison your heart. Ephesians 4:31 speaks of bitterness—using a word that means bitter gall, extreme wickedness, a bitter root producing bitter fruit.
Offense that is unforgiving is bitterness that poisons your heart.
It can happen to your body, and your physical scars may heal, but your heart becomes poisoned. The injury may mend, but the spiritual damage lingers if you hold on to it.
Matthew 5:8 again: "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God."
The word "pure" comes from the Greek catheros—the root of the word "catheter." A catheter is a flexible tube inserted into a body cavity to drain out fluids. When Scripture says "blessed are those with a pure heart," it's saying blessed are those who can drain the offense effectively.
You need to spiritually catheterize yourself. Invite God to search your heart and drain the toxins. Say, "Search me, God." Some of us are still carrying hurts from years ago. Your uncle did something that still annoys you. Your first love betrayed you. And now, because of that one poisoned relationship, you've poisoned your entire view of men or women or people in general.
All the enemy needs to do is poison one relationship, and suddenly all relationships of that type become suspect. You tell yourself: Nobody changes. Nobody is good. Everyone is the same. Your heart has been poisoned, and now you cannot see clearly.
God is calling you to drain that poison. Let your uncle go. Let your father go. Let your mother go. I know it was painful, but it's stopping you from engaging with God and others.
Some of you experienced abuse as children. Something happened that has impacted the stream of your affections forever. You were exposed prematurely to sexual content, and it has defined your sexual expression and identity. All the enemy did was poison your heart, and now you believe that's just who you are. No—that's what your poisoned heart is telling you.
Some of us glory in our anger and revenge. We say things like, "If you touch me, I'll punch you in the face!" People clap and celebrate when we "clap back," but what they're celebrating is your imprisonment. You're in a prison, and everyone is applauding your chains.
You say, "But do you know what they did to me? Do you know how long I had to put up with this person? Nobody understands." Your hand is stuck in the trap, holding on to the offense, and God is calling you to let it go.
God says, "I have higher things for you. I have a destiny planned for you. But I cannot take you there with that poisoned heart."
You cannot take the offense on the trip to your destiny. I recently returned from international travel, obsessed with how much my luggage weighed. The allowance was strict—I could only take what fit within the weight limit. Not everything can make the trip.
Your church is called for great things. But if you insist on carrying that offense, there won't be room for what God wants to give you. The offense is too heavy. I'm not denying the pain. I'm saying it's too heavy for the journey God has planned.
My assignment to you today is three words: Let. It. Go.
I know it's painful. I'm not minimizing what happened to you. But for your own sake—for your heart's sake—let it go. It's killing you. It's keeping you stuck.
This week, don't call anyone and tell them you forgive them. This isn't about them yet. This week is about you and your heart. Because what if they're not here? What if they never hear your words? An apology performance cannot heal a broken heart, no matter how excellent the performance is.
Examine your own heart. Let it go. Your heart is more important than winning the fight. Your heart is more important than your reputation. Your heart is more important than your ego. Your heart is more important than looking like the bigger person, the stronger person, the smarter person.
Close your eyes. Lift up your hands. Vision God draining your heart of the toxins—the anger, the rage, the bitterness, the unforgiveness.
Many of you need to let somebody go who has already died. Someone you haven't talked to in 15 years. Someone who abused you. I know you're not diminished by letting it go. I'm saying for your own sake, for your heart's sake—let it go.
In your own words, say to God: "I forgive. I let it go. I forgive. I let it go. This has no hold on me anymore. I am not going to be stuck. I'm not going to be held back from all that God has for me."
The chains around your hearts are being released right now. You're being released to love again, to trust again, to connect again with people you haven't associated with in a long time because of what one person—or maybe two or three—did to you.
God is saying: Let it go, so I can take you to your next place.
We surrender to this. Like little children, we let it go. We will have short memories for offense and long memories for God's goodness. The devil will try to offend us again today, but we are ready. We have a tender heart that is willing to receive the offense, neutralize it, and let it go.
