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Relationship Over Religion Part Five
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Pastor Kenneth opens with a prayer of thanksgiving and invites the Holy Spirit to guide the teaching. He acknowledges that he doesn't know who is in the room, but God does—and God knows what each person needs: their heartache, their pain, and the breakthrough they require.
Pastor Kenneth welcomes everyone and emphasizes that Evolve Church is a transparent, real, and unedited community. He invites first-time guests (called "special guests") to speak with him after service and mentions partnership programs for health and wellness.
He also previews an altar call at the end of the service, inviting those without a personal relationship with God to step forward, and asks those already in faith to pray during this important moment.
Pastor Kenneth recaps the previous four weeks of the series to set context for today's message:
Week 1: The importance of programming our minds away from mere religion toward a real relationship with God. Every relationship is built on love, communication, respect, and trust—and so should our relationship with God. The question: Is God the god over our love?
Week 2: The way you love God is shown in how you love people. You cannot serve God without serving people. There is a difference between being related and being family—one is by blood, one is by love. The question: Is he the god of my family?
Week 3: Don't settle. Many settle out of desperation, but the moment you feel like you need something or someone, you will settle for whatever is available. God wants better for us than we want for ourselves. No relationship is sustainable without reciprocity—if you only receive and never give, you are a user and an abuser. A person cannot be a safe place for you if they drain you. The question: Is God the god of your worth?
Week 4: The importance of honoring God with our bodies. Sex is both spiritual and physical, which is why we experience soul ties. Lust and sex damage your ability to truly see a person. The question: Is he the god of your body?
Today's message addresses part five: More Money More Problems.
Pastor Kenneth begins by noting that one of the top three leading causes for divorce in the country is money. According to a study by the Jenes Law Firm and CNBC, 54% of people believe a partner with debt is a reason to consider divorce. Money damages relationships in unique ways.
When someone owes you money, you watch everything they do. You see them eating out on Instagram and wonder, "Who paid for this?" You scrutinize their clothes, their shoes, their Jordans—because you know they still owe you $250.
The moment money is involved in a friendship, it instantly changes the nature of the friendship. Pastor Kenneth shares that he avoids money conversations with blessed friends because the moment money comes in, it changes the friendship—whether you give the money or don't give it, the friendship is altered.
Pastor Kenneth challenges the congregation: "What if God feels the same way?" What if God knows we're only going to keep asking for blessings and never truly give in return? What if God feels about us the way we feel about people who constantly ask to borrow money?
Pastor Kenneth acknowledges that money is a difficult topic to discuss in church. Many people are willing to hear about relationships, health, marriage, and forgiveness—but the moment money is mentioned, it gets "sticky" and "ugly."
He sets the record straight: He is not raising an offering today. He does not want anyone's money; he cares about their hearts. He refuses to play money manipulation games—no "$50 line, $100 line" or false prophecies about sowing specific amounts.
I've learned in my life: if I get your money and lose your soul, I failed you. If you leave here broken, I'm not a good pastor. I care about your heart, not the money.
Luke 16:13 says: "No servant can serve two masters at the same time. He will hate one of them and love the other, or he will be faithful to one and dislike the other. You cannot serve God and money at the same time."
Pastor Kenneth clarifies: It's okay to have money. You just can't serve it. It's okay to have money; you just can't let money rule you. You can't lose who you are for the money you're trying to get.
He offers two ways to understand this:
Many people are losing their Jesus to make more money. As a woman or man of God, you must be careful about what jobs you take for money. Don't lose the value of what God created you to be for a dollar. Some money isn't worth your soul—that's an expensive cost.
The challenge is to ask ourselves honestly: Am I sacrificing God for money, or have I ever sacrificed money for God?
Pastor Kenneth gets specific: Some of you will miss God in a minute for overtime. Jesus isn't just talking about missing church—He's talking about missing prayer, not reading your Bible, not seeking God, because your other god called you.
Whatever makes you move is what you worship.
If you could wake up three hours early for triple overtime but can't wake up one hour early for the one you said means more to you than anything in this world, then you've revealed your true god.
Luke 16:14 says: "The Pharisees loved money, so they heard all that Jesus said and made fun of him."
The Pharisees were the religious leaders—the pastors of their day. They ran the church and were the preachers. When Jesus taught that you can't love God and money at the same time, they laughed. They mocked Him because they secretly loved money.
Pastor Kenneth draws a parallel to modern leaders who count money but don't count the people. They don't know how many people got saved, but they know exactly how many dollars were collected—because they care more about money than people.
Jesus continues in Luke 16:15: "You try to make yourselves look good in the eyes of other people, but God knows your hearts. What is worth a great deal among people is hated by God."
Jesus is so direct: You can fool people, but you can't fool God. He exposes that we are often more focused on looking good than being good.
Pastor Kenneth shares his personal conviction: "I don't care how you see me. I don't want to look like a good pastor; I want to be a good pastor. I don't want to look like a good husband; I want to be a good husband. I don't want to look like a good father; I want to be a good father."
It doesn't matter how people judge you. The question is: When God looks at me, am I good in my heart? Do I want to actually be good through and through, not just appear good to others?
Matthew 6:2 says: "When you give to someone in need, don't do as the Hypocrites do, blowing trumpets in the synagogues and streets to call attention to their acts of charity. I tell you the truth, they have received all the reward they will ever get."
The Greek word for "hypocrite" literally means a stage actor—someone playing a part that doesn't represent who they actually are.
Pastor Kenneth distinguishes between organizations (which must show their work to donors) and individuals who record themselves helping the poor for likes and followers. This new wave of people who film themselves giving haircuts to the homeless in their worst condition, or paying for groceries with a camera crew, are seeking praise for themselves rather than honoring the people they claim to help.
If you put that verse back on the screen: when you go get that praise for yourself, that is the only reward you will ever get. God says, since you wanted the likes and follows, that's your reward. I don't bless you for exploiting people for PR stunts.
Matthew 6:3 continues: "When you give to someone in need, don't let your left hand know what your right hand is doing."
This phrase means close proximity—a person on your left and a person on your right. If you help the person on your right, it's none of the person on your left's business. Yet many of us help someone and then tell everyone about it, embarrassing them in their lowest moment to make ourselves feel better.
There are so many people I've helped that you would never know about. It's none of your business. It's people in the church right now. It's none of your business. Why? Because me helping somebody has nothing to do with you. If I'm doing it unto God, that's my only focus.
Often Pastor Kenneth doesn't want people to know because if one person finds out, fifty others think they're next in line. If you help one person with rent, someone else will say, "Well, I've been late for three months," and you're stuck.
Matthew 6:4 says: "Give your gifts in private—secret means nobody's supposed to know—and your father who sees everything will reward you."
Most people see the public reward but don't see the private help. Stuff always works out for those who help people. The secret is: start helping people and watch how God blesses you. Don't help them for likes, Instagram, or Facebook. Help them because the Word of God says it is more blessed to give than to receive. Watch how God blesses you.
Pastor Kenneth transitions to giving to the church. He acknowledges this topic has been so abused and misused that people don't know what to do anymore. But the reality is: You are supposed to honor God and you are supposed to give. You're not supposed to be abused, pushed, or manipulated, but you are supposed to give.
Malachi 3:8 says: "Should people cheat God? Yet you have cheated me. But you ask, 'What do you mean? When did we ever cheat you?' God, you have cheated me of the tithes and offerings due to me."
God uses the word "cheated" because it brings the relationship back into focus. A tithe is 10%—10% of what God has given to you. If it's out of $100, it's $10. If it's out of $1,000, it's $100.
God looks at us and says: With all that I provide for you, you're really going to cheat me?
Malachi 3:9-10 continues: "You are under a curse—the whole nation has been cheating me. Bring all the tithes into the storehouse so there will be enough food in my temple. If you do, says the Lord of Heaven's armies, I will open the windows of heaven and I will pour out a blessing so great you won't have enough room to take it in. Put me to the test. Try it."
This is the only place in the whole Bible where God says you can test Him. Everywhere else, God says don't test God, don't tempt God. But when it comes to money, God realizes this is against your other god. God knows how serious you are about money, so He challenges: Honor me more than you honor money, and see how I bless your life so crazily that you won't have room enough to receive it.
The generous giver is always going to be blessed with more. When you're generous, God is always going to increase you. Look at people who are increased—ask them how often they give, how often they help people. You'll realize that the reason they're so blessed is because God can trust that when He blesses them, He is also blessing 20 other people because the blessing flows through them to the rest of the world.
When blessings come to you and stop at you, you're not a river; you're a lake. God always pours more into the river than He does into the lake. The river can always be moving and never go empty because God is always going to pour more into the river than He does in the lake.
Proverbs 11:24 says: "One person gives freely yet gains more; another withholds what is right only to become poor."
The person who gives freely and God keeps giving them more. The person who never gives and is still struggling—that sounds like reality. The more you withhold from God, the more you're losing. That's because God blesses you every time you trust Him.
Pastor Kenneth emphasizes again: He is not teaching this to get money from people. He genuinely wants to help everyone in life.
Pastor Kenneth shares something God dropped on his heart while preparing: If you're greedy and stingy, it's not just hard for you to give—it's also hard for you to forgive.
Only givers can forgive easily. Stingy people struggle because if they won't give you a dollar, they definitely won't give you a chance.
One of the best ways to give is to forgive. The word "forgive" is a compound word: for + give. It means to give something to somebody before they deserve it, before they've earned it, or before they merit it.
Mark 11:25 says: "When you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them so that your father in Heaven may forgive you your sins."
But God, they don't deserve it. That's the whole point of giving—because you don't either.
The whole point of giving is that you give something to someone that they have not earned. This entire Christian faith is based on you receiving a blessing you never earned and something you never worked for—it's the grace of God.
Forgiveness works the same way. God challenges us to release someone before they ever say sorry. God challenges us to release them even if they're not sorry. God tells us to release them even if they plan on hurting us again. But He's protecting your heart and teaching you to give before a person ever deserves it—because He gave it to you before you ever deserved it.
Pastor Kenneth invites everyone to stand and close their eyes. He notes that one of the dangerous things about holding unforgiveness is that when it sits long enough, it turns into bitterness. You become bitter, cold, standoffish. You won't let people in. Everyone can see the bitterness on you, but you don't realize you've been changed by your pain.
As the congregation stands in prayer, he invites the Holy Spirit to bring conviction. God may bring someone to mind—a face, a name. That's the Holy Spirit's way of revealing someone you still need to release.
Pastor Kenneth leads a prayer of release:
Lord, we release. We release them—whoever it may be. We release mom, we release Dad, we release our brother, we release our sister, we release that child who hurt us and dishonored us. We release the old lover, the old relationship, the old friend, we release the old coworker, we release the person we went to church with, we release the old pastor, we release the old leader, we release the uncle, we release the auntie, we release the person that hurt us and may not even be alive to tell the story.
But God, we release them right now. We will no longer live with the bondage of what's holding on inside of us. We pray against bitterness in the name of Jesus. God, the pain we've lived through will not change our DNA. It will not change who we are. It will not change what You created us to be. We will walk in the love of Jesus and we will live in the love of Jesus.
May You use our lives as an example of what it means to forgive before a person deserves it. May You use our lives to show that we give the same forgiveness that Jesus gave to us. That we walk with the spirit of love and for the person struggling in this moment—God, show them a picture of all the sins You took off their plate, all the mistakes You threw into the sea of forgetfulness. God, if You could do this for me, can I choose to forgive? I choose to release offense and I choose to walk in love in Jesus' name.
Pastor Kenneth opens an opportunity for those who felt God's conviction during the forgiveness prayer. Some may need to text or call someone to squash beef and finally release offense. He challenges people to obey the Holy Spirit.
He also notes that for some, this forgiveness is for themselves—they need to forgive themselves. They've damaged their own lives so much that they've never forgiven themselves.
Finally, he extends an invitation to anyone who wants to give their life to Jesus or find a church home at Evolve Church to come forward. He promises not to make them say anything—just to love on them and welcome them in the name of Jesus.
As people come forward, Pastor Kenneth welcomes them warmly: "Welcome home, welcome home, welcome home." He directs them to a private reception area in the back, where Pastor Dugar and Sierra will help them join the church family in a private setting rather than in front of everyone.
