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When we read Galatians 5:22-23, we encounter the fruit of the Spirit—love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. But to truly understand this passage, we must look at verse 24: "And those who are Christ's have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires."
Self-control is not merely a disciplinary virtue. It is flesh crucifixion.
To understand this, we need to set the passage in proper context. Paul begins in Galatians 5:16: "Walk in the Spirit and you will not fulfill the lust of the flesh." When the Bible speaks of flesh, it means either the soul, the body, or the composite of both—what Scripture also calls the sinful nature.
Here's the reality: when you say yes to Jesus and become born again, only your spirit changes. Your soul and your body do not change. You become a new creature, but that new creature exists in your spirit. You receive a recreated spirit, yet you carry old patterns in your soul. You are a new spirit with old flesh.
This creates a fundamental tension. You have a spirit pulling you in one direction and your flesh pulling you in the opposite direction. These two forces are constantly fighting each other. As Paul writes in verse 17, "The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit wants desires that are opposite to what the sinful nature desires."
Every day when we wake up, we must decide in which direction we will live our lives. Whichever force we yield to determines our desires and our actions.
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Paul lays out the markers clearly. In verse 19, he describes those who choose to live according to the flesh: "Sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties." It is obvious when someone has decided to yield to the force of the flesh.
Then in verse 22, Paul shows us the opposite: "But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in you: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control." The contrast is stark—two forces pulling in diametrically opposite directions.
Paul brings his argument to a conclusion with a crucial statement: those who belong to Jesus have an identifier. You can tell them apart. There's something that differentiates them. They stick out.
And here's what's even more interesting: "Those who are Christ's have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires." This means believers are standing in front of a cross—a cross that holds their flesh. Their carnal desires, their pleasures, their selfishness, their comfort, their convenience, their personal preference, their ego, their ambition, their chase for popularity and fame—all of it is nailed to that cross.
The things that keep them from saying yes to Jesus—they have nailed it on the cross. They have nailed everything that keeps them from following Jesus.
It is not one or the other. It is both: bearing the fruit of the Spirit AND crucifying the flesh.
The fruit of self-control demands the death of our flesh. It demands the death of our selfish, self-centered living under the leadership and desires of our sinful nature. Colossians 3:15 says: "Put to death the sinful earthly things lurking within you—have nothing to do with sexual immorality, impurity, lust, and evil desires."
I am not talking about a physical death. I am talking about a detachment from living a life centered around the pleasures, the passions, and the patterns of the flesh. This begins with sin, but it extends beyond sin. It extends to our selfish ambitions. It extends to the things that drive us.
Jesus Himself puts it this way in Mark 8:34: "Whoever desires to come after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross and follow me." What is Jesus saying? Don't tell Him you are following Him if you brought your desires with you. Don't tell Him you're following Jesus if you did not bring your cross. Don't tell Him you're following Jesus if you have not crucified your flesh.
It is not Jesus plus anything. It is Jesus and Jesus. Don't tell Him you're following while you have one eye on yourself. He says, "Deny yourself." Something has to die.
There are three essential practices: Abstinence, Moderation, and Curation.
Abstinence is deliberate self-restraint. It is the choice not to do or have something. Abstinence is the practice of saying no to pleasures, passions, and patterns that have no spiritual benefit.
1 Corinthians 10:23 states: "Some of you may say we are free to do anything we want to do. But not everything is good for you to do. You may say we are free to do anything, but not everything helps you be strong as a believer."
We have to practice our no. When it's time to pray and your body wants to sleep—no. When every fiber of your being wants to return to something you've left behind—no. When you want to do the things that make you feel happy but they displease God—no.
What am I saying? Don't touch it. Don't smell it. Don't watch it. Don't visit it. Don't talk to it. Don't call it. Don't text it. Don't read it. Practice your no.
This is where fasting comes in. Fasting is denying your flesh what it wants to give your spirit what it needs. Fasting is establishing your authority over your flesh. It limits the influence of your flesh. It subdues the power of your flesh. It silences the voice of your flesh. After the agony of the hunger is gone, your spirit comes alive and becomes more sensitive to hear from God.
The Greek word for self-control means continence—the virtue of one who masters his desires and passions. Moderation, I believe, is the key to mastery. Moderation is the avoidance of extremes and excess.
Sometimes we don't have to say no. We just have to say, "That's enough." You cannot claim mastery if you cannot exhibit moderation. If you cannot say that is enough, you cannot say you've mastered your emotions and your desires.
Moderation helps us say that's enough when our body wants to sleep that extra hour when God has woken us up to pray. It says that's enough when all we want to do is eat one more thing. It says that's enough when we just want to watch one more episode. It says that's enough when you're out enjoying yourself and you know you need to go to bed so you can wake up to come to church.
Moderation is also the antidote to addiction. As 1 Corinthians 6:12 warns: "You say I am allowed to do anything, but not everything is good for you. And even though I am allowed to do anything, I must not become a slave to anything."
If you have to have it, it's an addiction. If you can't function without it, it's an addiction. If one will not do—if yesterday's indulgence will not suffice today and you have to have your fix today—it might be an addiction.
We don't have to do everything we feel like doing when and how we feel like doing it. We don't have to do it as much as we feel like doing it. We don't even have to do it as frequently as we think we need to do it.
Moderation also prevents idolatry. An idol is anything other than God that seizes your attention, generates your motivation, inspires your action, and determines the use of your time, your talents, and your treasures.
The degree of idolatry in a Christian's life is measured by the amount of time devoted to pursuing things other than the knowledge and the will of God. The absence of self-control is the presence of idolatry.
It is possible to turn a blessing into an idol. In Exodus 12, God gives the children of Israel favor. They leave Egypt with silver and gold. But in Exodus 32, they become impatient with Moses and take that same gold—blessed them with—melt it, and make a golden calf. They turned the blessing of God into an idol.
It is possible to turn your job, your food, your sleep, your relationships, your comfort, your convenience, your money, your opportunities into idols. Our lack of self-control weaponizes the benefits and the blessings of God against Him. God cannot spend time with you because of the job He gave you. God cannot wake you up to pray because of the bed He gave you. God cannot expect you in church because of the person He gave you. We've weaponized the blessings that He gave to us.
To curate something means to carefully select and organize things to achieve a particular purpose. One way to crucify your flesh is to do a deep scrutiny of your interactions and the environments you expose yourself to—the people that you expose yourself to.
I'm not asking you not to be friends with unbelievers. How else will you share the love of God with them? But they cannot form the core and the crux of your relationships.
It is incredibly difficult to be self-controlled if you spend more time in environments and with people who are not self-controlled than you do with people who actually are self-controlled. The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 15:33: "Do not be deceived. Evil company corrupts good habits."
If you're not in an environment with somebody who doesn't believe what you believe and you're not taking control of that environment, better believe it is influencing you. We pick up the tendencies and proclivities of our associations and environment.
How are your relationships? If you did a survey of your relationships, how many truly spiritual friends do you have—friends that would check you if you start acting out of your flesh? Friends that make you read your Bible more?
Go and write out all your friends. Write out where you spend your time every week. Your job is not a church—it's a secular environment. If you have kids, the kids' games, grocery shopping, all the places you go in a week—then you realize one hour thirty minutes you spend in church every week is nothing compared to the secular environment you're exposing yourself to.
That's why coming to church every Sunday becomes paramount, because you're not exposing yourself enough to spiritual environments that foster your spiritual life. That's why you have to join a small group. Get some friends. I recommend what's called a sermon-based group—groups that meet every week and discuss what we talked about on Sunday. For some of you, you need to lead a sermon-based group.
How do we grow the fruit of the Spirit? Feed your spirit.
All through the Bible, the word of God is referred to as food. Some of us have not read our Bible for so long that our spirit is crying out. Jeremiah says in Jeremiah 15:16: "Your words were found and I ate them." 1 Peter 2:2 says: "As newborn babes, desire the pure milk of the word that you might grow."
The word of God is how your spirit grows. Engaging the word of God—reading, studying, meditating, practicing it—that's how your spirit grows. Jesus tells the devil in Mark 4:4: "Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God."
When was the last time you anticipated the word of God? When was the last time you anticipated praying? That you cannot wait to engage with it? Why? Because it builds your spirit.
Another way to build your spirit is to pray in the Holy Spirit—to speak in tongues. 1 Corinthians 14:4 says: "A person who speaks in tongues is strengthened personally." Jude 20 says: "Building up yourselves in your most holy faith, praying in the spirit."
Praying in the spirit, speaking in tongues, increases the strength and the sensitivity of our spirit.
Point number two: we yield to the Holy Spirit.
Paul begins this conversation in Galatians 5:16: "What I say is this. Let the spirit, the Holy Spirit direct your lives. That way you will not satisfy the desires of your human nature." And at the end in verses 24-25: "Those who are Christ have crucified their flesh with all of his passions and desires. If we live in the spirit, let us walk in the spirit."
Self-control is living a spirit-controlled life. Self-control is yielding to the direction and the influence of the Holy Spirit in every part, every detail of our everyday life.
God is not expecting us to control the flesh with the flesh. This is not about behavioral modifications. He has given us the Holy Spirit. If you have said yes to Jesus, you have the Holy Spirit living in you.
You do not satisfy the desires of the flesh by fighting with the flesh. You separate yourself from the desires of the flesh by following the Spirit.
Let's make it practical. If you're in a room with somebody you're not supposed to be in a room with and you know lust is beginning to rise, you don't get out of there by fighting the person. The Bible says flee. You open the door and you run. Leave your car behind. Just run. Follow the Spirit. Yield to His leading and you will not gratify the desires of your flesh.
I want to end with a story about a man who said no to Jesus. Throughout the gospels, we see accounts of men who said yes to Jesus. Simon, Andrew, Matthew, James, John—they all said yes and left everything behind.
But in Mark 10, we see a different story. A rich young ruler runs to Jesus and asks: "What must I do to inherit eternal life?" Jesus lays out the commandments: "You shall not commit adultery. You shall not murder. You shall not steal. You shall not bear false witness. Honor your father and mother."
Before Jesus finishes, the man smiles and says, "I've done all those things from my youth. What's next? Is that all you have?" The Bible says Jesus looks at him and loves him. Jesus is impressed with his spiritual journey. He says, "You're perfect, bro."
Then He says: "But there's one thing lacking. Go your way, sell whatever you have, give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. And then come take up your cross and follow me."
It would have felt like the air was sucked out of the room. The joy that marked the conversation was gone. The enthusiasm and anticipation in his eyes disappeared. The story became sour. The Bible says this man was sad at this word and he went away in the other direction sorrowful. Why? For he had great wealth.
He came with joy. He came with anticipation and expectation. But he left sorrowful. Why? Because something Jesus said challenged him. Jesus exposed the price tag of following Him.
Jesus was requiring that this man disengage, disconnect, and let go of things he held so dearly. Jesus was saying, "Come after me, but it's going to cost you." While his heart was passionate, another law in his members held him back from following Jesus. Something—great possessions—had great possession of him.
He called Jesus teacher three times. Yet something in him could not obey the instruction of the teacher. Beneath the surface was an internal civil war that he lost. He could not follow Jesus.
Today God is calling us in this room, and we are faced with a decision: Say yes to Him. Deny ourselves, our passion, our reputation, what people will say, how comfortable we are, our five-year plans. Lay it all down and follow Him.
The Bible says eyes have not seen what God has for us. Ears have not heard. Minds have not conceived it. Jeremiah 29:11 says: "For the thoughts He has for us are thoughts of peace to bring us to an expected end." But all of that comes with a cost.
In a culture where desire is king, in a culture where my opinion must be heard and adhered to, in a culture where my ambition must be pursued—something has to die. In a culture that places feelings above faith, something has to die. In a culture of convenience, there has to be a death to that convenience, a death to that comfort, a death to preferences, to fleshly passions and patterns.
A death to the desire for fame and reputation. A death to certain relationships and opportunities. A death to the perfect picture of my future. A death to my ego, to my pride, to my ambition, to my five-year plan.
Paul says in 1 Corinthians 15:31: "I die daily." This is a very strategic assassination. A very intentional, not incidental killing. It's premeditated.
Let's get practical. When I fast, I'm killing the power of food over my mind. When I forgive, I'm killing the power of pride, offense, and strife. When I have faith, I'm killing the power of fear. When I tithe, I'm killing the power of greed. When I'm generous, I'm killing the scarcity mentality. When I wake up early to pray, I'm killing the power of comfort and convenience over me.
At the end of the week, we should all have a wrap sheet of the areas of our lives we have killed. We should be found guilty of killing things in our lives every week.
Paul says, "Daily. Every day. There is something I'm killing. There's a part of me that is dying because every act of self-control is an act of self-crucifixion."
You cannot follow Jesus to the degree He's inviting us to while holding on to the things we're holding on to. I know it's comfortable and you've worked hard for it. But with whose breath? I know you deserve it. But by whose grace?
Is it so bad that the Person whose grace you enjoy invites you, and we are more keen to hold on to what He's blessed us with than we are to delve deeper into what He has for us?
So today, God is inviting us and He's saying: "Are you going to be the man that said no to me, or are you going to be the man that said yes?" Are you going to be the one that says no to the Person who said yes in the most humiliating way possible? He chose to die for you so He can invite you to a better life.
God is calling us today. And the fruit of self-control is how we kill the things that hold us back from the depths of relationship God has for us.
Think about what you've learned today. Begin to pray. Close your eyes. Begin to make a commitment to God today.
You know exactly what I'm talking about. God has been calling you for years, for months, for decades, for weeks, for hours. Even in this minute, something has come to your mind that He wants you to let go of. He's inviting you to something that's going to be painful. It's going to be painful. You're going to be annoyed by it. But other people have to do it. They get to do it. But God is saying, "Not for you, my daughter. Not for you, my son. I'm calling you to something else."
Open up your mouth and begin to say, "Lord, give me grace to say yes." For real, this is going to be hard. Be honest with God. Tell Him: "Man, I'm used to this life. I'm used to this kind of comfort. I'm used to pursuing my own ambition. I'm not used to running it by anybody, and now you're inviting me to run it by You. God, help me. Lord, help me."
Let's say our confession together with conviction:
I have the nature. I bear the fruit of self-control. I am guided by the Holy Spirit. I live a life that pleases God alone. I do not give in to the desires of my flesh. I do not trade eternity with God for momentary pleasure. I do not trade connection with God for convenience and comfort. I grow my spirit every day. I read my Bible every day. I meditate on the word of God every day. I practice the word of God every day. I pray every day. I kill whatever needs to die. I end whatever needs to end. I stop whatever needs to stop. I live a life that makes God proud. I live a life that pleases God alone. I bear the fruit of self-control in Jesus' name. Amen.
Father, thank you for your grace. We know this is going to be hard to practice because we're used to things the way they are, but we trust you. We trust you. So today we are saying we yield to you. We yield to your leading. When you begin to nudge our hearts, we yield to you. Thank you for your grace. Your grace is sufficient even in our weakness. Your strength is perfected in our weakness. In Jesus' name. Amen.
