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Love is not just a feeling—it's a function. Relationships require more than romance; they require responsibility. When I say yes to a relationship, I'm saying yes to a set of responsibilities. When I say yes to love, I'm saying yes to more than a feeling; I'm saying yes to a function.
Part of that function is to investigate and execute on my partner's love language. It's my responsibility to listen for and learn to give them what only I can give in the context of a human relationship. When we do this, it serves the person we're in relationship with at the highest level—and it serves us at the highest level too. People show up differently when their love languages are met properly.
This principle doesn't just apply to our relationships with people. God shows up differently when His love languages are met properly.
When I say God shows up differently, I mean He goes from omnipresence to manifest presence. Omnipresence simply means God is everywhere at all times, unbound by time and space. But manifest presence is when the omnipresent God becomes perceivable and undeniable.
Omnipresence is air. Manifest presence is wind.
You can be in air and not know it—you're breathing it right now. But you cannot be in wind and not know it. Manifest presence is when the wind starts blowing.
This is exactly what happened at the Red Sea. We often say God parted the Red Sea, but we don't talk about how. The text says, "God caused a wind to blow all night long. And the wind blew the sea out of the way." When you experience the manifest presence of God, it not only blows on you—it blows on what's in your way. It blows away depression. It blows away stress. Where the spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.
This is what happened on the day of Pentecost. They were all in one place, in one accord, and suddenly there came a sound from heaven like a mighty rushing wind. It's what happened when Paul and Silas were in a Philippian prison. They prayed and sang praises unto God, and suddenly there was a great earthquake. The foundations of the prison were shaken, all the doors were opened, and everyone's bands were loosed.
Omnipresence is air. Manifest presence is action.
God shows up differently when love languages are met properly. For the past six weeks, we have been leaning into one of His primary love languages: worship.
Worship is so important to Him that when He gives His people Israel a set of instructions regarding what matters most to Him and how they are to behave in order to experience human flourishing, He gives them over 613 commandments. The first ten are called the Decalogue, the Ten Commandments. The very first one deals with worship: "Thou shalt have no other gods before me. Thou shalt worship me only."
It is His love language.
When this love language is met properly, God shows up differently. Last week we explored what He wants us to do with our hands. This text in Matthew shows us the importance of what we do with our words—another way we express His love language.
Matthew 15:21 begins with three words that set up everything: "Leaving that place."
The text doesn't tell us explicitly what that place was, but it does tell us who was in that place. Jesus had just had a contentious conversation with the Pharisees. He's in Jewish territory arguing with them about who He is, and they're denying His identity.
So Jesus leaves that place and withdraws to non-Jewish, Gentile territory called Tyre and Sidon. He leaves a contentious conversation with Pharisees in Jewish territory. He leaves and goes into Gentile territory. And in Gentile territory, he runs into a Canaanite woman.
Here's what I want you to see: There are times when your ability to accomplish your assignment is tied to your willingness to make a pivot.
Purpose will often require you making a pivot from those you want to help toward those who want your help.
Jesus is arguing with Pharisees who are denying who He is. Then He goes to Gentile territory and runs into a woman who is telling Him who He is. He's trying to help the people that He wants to help, and then He has to pivot to those who want His help.
Some of you are in seasons of frustration because you don't know your anointing has an audience you don't know. Not everybody you want to help wants your help. You haven't realized and recognized that everybody doesn't have an appetite for your oil. So you're trying to force it on people who don't want it, and you're missing out on people who are waiting on it.
Many people end up missing impact because they are unwilling to pivot from those who they want to help and pivot toward those who want their help.
This is the essence of what Jesus articulates in Matthew 7:6 when He says,
Do not give that which is sacred to the dogs, and do not cast your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet and turn and tear you to pieces.
He's not being insulting. He's not calling people names. This isn't about names. This is about nature.
Jesus uses animal metaphors throughout Scripture to describe human personalities. He says, "Be wise as a serpent, humble as a dove." He says, "I send you out as sheep among wolves." It's not about names—it's about nature.
When Jesus says don't give what's sacred to dogs, consider this: Your dog will chew on a toy and your dog will chew on your shoe. One might be inexpensive, the other might be more expensive. But dogs can't discern value. They don't know the difference between a toy and your shoe.
You need to discern who has discernment before you keep making investment.
When Jesus says don't throw your pearls before pigs, there's deep meaning here. Do you know how pearls are created? An oyster produces a pearl when there's an accumulation of things inside that create calcium, which forms a hard, small round object. A pearl is an asset to us. But it was agitation for the oyster.
Jesus is saying: There's some stuff that you got that's valuable. You got it through agitation. It cost you to know what you know. It cost you to learn what you learn. It cost you to be where you are. You went through pain to get that.
Don't give that to those who don't have discernment.
What they're going to do is trample on what they should be appreciating. And depending on their degree of emotional health, some of them will turn hostile toward you. They will turn hostile toward you in your attempt to help them.
Jesus withdrew to Tyre and Sidon, and what He was trying to convince the Pharisees to take, this Canaanite woman is begging for. She's begging for it.
The text says: "A Canaanite woman from that vicinity came to him crying out, 'Lord, son of David, have mercy on me.'"
She's not Jewish. She's not a worshipper of Yahweh. But she came out to him and said, "Lord, son of David."
Wait. How do you know who David is? She's a Canaanite woman from a culture of polytheism. You guys worship Baal. You offer children to Molech. You put babies on the altar. What do you know?
She said, "Don't judge me from where I come from. Don't judge me based off of where I come from, 'cuz I'm strong enough to stand on my own two feet."
She's telling Him who He is. She's acknowledging His messianic lineage. She's not saying literally, "You're the son of David." She's saying, "I know that the Jewish Messiah will come from the lineage of David, and I want you to know I know who you are."
This is worship.
Listen to her words: "Lord, son of David, have mercy on me. My daughter is demon-possessed and suffering terribly."
The request comes after the worship. She knew what to put first.
Some people only worship after the request is answered. But she put the worship in front of the request:
Son of David, I know who you are. Way maker, make a way. Heart fixer, fix my heart. Door opener, open the door. Heal my daughter.
Take a moment and call Him back. Call Him by His names. Provider. Restorer. Deliverer. Healer. Sustainer. Comforter.
Now watch what happens. Here's the test.
Verse 23 says: Jesus did not answer a word.
All that praise. All that crying out. All that worship. And Jesus did not answer a word.
But then—
Verse 28 says: Jesus said to her, "Woman, you have great faith. Your request is granted."
Give me verse 23 again: Jesus did not answer a word.
Give me verse 28: Woman, you have great faith. Your request is granted.
Some of you can't get to verse 28 because you don't survive verse 23. You get mad at the silence. You get mad when worship doesn't work immediately. You get mad when He doesn't do what you want expeditiously.
But if you can survive verse 24, if you can survive verse 25, if you can survive verse 26, if you can survive verse 27, there's a verse 28 with your name on it.
He answered her with action. God's silence is never neglectful—it's strategic. Just because He's not talking to you about what He's fixing doesn't mean He's not fixing it.
Sometimes He doesn't even tell you your verse 28 is coming. You just wake up one day and you're right in the middle of your verse 28.
While Jesus remained silent, watch what the disciples did:
"So his disciples came to him and urged him, 'Send her away, for she keeps crying after us.'"
She's not crying after them. She's crying out to Jesus. But they said, "She keeps bothering us."
Here's some of your challenge: As you maximize the potential God's given you, you're going to have to deal with people who assign credit to themselves for what God has accomplished in you.
They don't understand that her cry isn't about them.
Now I want to show you something crucial. This woman's alteration—her transformation—is tied to her ability to not get offended.
Jesus says to her: "I was only sent to the lost sheep of Israel."
That's a "no." That's Him saying, "My oil is not for you. You're not my primary assignment."
Do you know how strong you have to be to hear that and not get in your feelings? You're over here in Tyre and Sidon—we don't even like y'all over here. How do you handle it when God tells you what you don't want to hear?
After the worship, He says no. After the seed, it's still no.
But instead of going further away from Him, the text says she came closer, and knelt, and said, "Lord, help me."
She responded to the no with more worship.
The spiritual discipline of worship cannot be contingent on yeses. If you are a door opener and you don't open the door, this door isn't for me—but you're still a door opener. If you are a way maker and you don't make a way, you're making another one. If you are a provider and you didn't provide when and where and through whom I thought you would, it means you're going to do it another way.
So even when it doesn't go my way, my response will be to come closer, to kneel, and to worship.
Then comes the harshest test:
"It is not right to take the children's bread and toss it to the dogs."
Now remember, He's not calling her a dog. It's not about names—it's about nature. But she's a Gentile. She's not a Jew. This is a test of her faith.
Watch her response:
"Yes, it is, Lord."
He says, "It's not right." She says, "Yes, it is. Absolutely it is."
She says, "Because I'm not asking you for bread. I never asked you for what belongs to them. I need crumbs. I'm not asking you to take anything out of their mouth. I believe you're a God of abundance. I don't believe you got to starve them to feed me. Give them their bread. Give me my crumbs."
And then Jesus said:
"Woman, you have great faith. Your request is granted."
And her daughter was healed at that moment.
This alteration was a result of what she did with her communication. It's what she did with her words.
This woman used her words in worship, and her words moved her from just proximity to Jesus to Jesus manifesting His lordship over the situation her daughter was dealing with.
It's communication. It's what she does with her words.
Love listens, and then love learns. Love listens to what the love language is, and then love is willing to learn how to meet it.
God doesn't mince words when it comes to the way He wants us to use our words in worship. The issue isn't even competence—the issue is comfort. There are some things that God desires that don't make us comfortable. But you have to choose your heart.
You will either choose the comfort of not giving Him what He asks for and dealing with that, or you will choose the discomfort of being uncomfortable for a season and giving what He actually wants.
One: Shouting—an expression of worship. Psalm 47:1 says, "Clap your hands, all you people, and shout to God with cries of joy."
Let me share something that was confirmed for me recently. My wife and I were at my son's football game at Syracuse—their first home game. They were losing the whole time. We thought they were going to lose. They were down, but then they came back. The game went to overtime.
I kept noticing something in that dome because it was so loud. The way it sounded when they lost was different than the way it sounded when they won. When the defender deflected the pass on fourth down and they won—when I tell you that room erupted!
People that didn't even know me were trying to hug me. Strangers were high-fiving each other. Victory has a sound.
They didn't even play the game. They were in the stands. But they watched their team get victory. And if you're on team Jesus, He got victory.
Victory has a sound.
You didn't have to play the game to celebrate the victory. We win. We win. We win. We won. I'm not waiting until the battle's over—we're shouting right now. We won.
I hope that message blessed you. I hope it encouraged you. I hope it added spiritual value to you.
