5 Relationship Rules: Honor Each Other

Honor Each Other: A Biblical Perspective on Sex and Sexuality

We live in a deeply sexualized culture. Pornography, OnlyFans, and countless other platforms make explicit content instantly accessible—even to children. Yet despite this constant exposure, we remain confused, frustrated, and often lonely when it comes to sex and sexuality. This is why we need to return to biblical teaching, which has provided wisdom for thousands of years about God's design for us.

The Heart of the Matter

Jesus addresses this issue directly in the Sermon on the Mount. In Matthew 5:27-28, he says:

"You've heard the commandment that says, you must not commit adultery. But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

Jesus is shocking us intentionally. He's moving the conversation from external actions to internal motivations. Adultery doesn't begin with a physical act—it begins in the heart, with fantasies, imagination, and lustful thoughts that develop long before any external compromise occurs.

When Jesus speaks of looking lustfully, he means a cultivated look—an incubated gaze where you're mentally undressing someone. You're already engaging in the act in your heart. This is the starting point, and this is where we must intervene.

Understanding God's Design

It's important to understand that God is pro-sex. He created sexual desire. The Bible even contains an entire book—the Song of Songs—celebrating romantic and sexual love. God isn't trying to repress us; he's trying to protect us from unnecessary pain.

Biblically, sex is designed primarily for enjoyment within the commitment of marriage between two people. Why this limitation? Because sexual relationships carry tremendous power and can cause deep hurt when pursued outside their intended context.

Consider the difference between physical and relational intimacy. When you fall in love, part of your brain temporarily shuts down. This is the perfect time to build genuine relational connection—to truly know someone, to grow together, to establish trust and commitment. But if you rush into physical intimacy immediately, you complicate everything.

The research is clear: sex alone can sustain a relationship for perhaps three to five years at most. But if you wait, you develop something deeper—genuine relational intimacy that actually holds a relationship together. You become an expert in relational intimacy rather than an expert in something that won't keep you together long-term.

Remember Your Value

One of the first principles of honoring each other is to remember your value. Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 6:19:

"Don't you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who lives in you and was given to you by God?"

This isn't about physical fitness or eating clean—though those matter. In context, Paul is speaking about sexual purity. Your body is where God's Spirit dwells. That makes it sacred.

When God looks at you as a believer in Jesus Christ, he doesn't see someone dirty or damaged. He sees someone:

• Forgiven
• Free
• Sealed by his Spirit
• Redeemed
• Lifted up
• Empowered

You are not the sum total of your mistakes. You're not defined by your clothing size, your appearance, or harsh words others have spoken about you. You are the temple of God's Spirit. Your past sins and present struggles do not eliminate this fundamental identity.

Remember Their Value Too

Every person you lock eyes with matters to God. Every person is somebody's daughter or son. This is crucial to remember because lust objectifies people. It dehumanizes them for our pleasure.

When you remember that the person you're tempted to lust after is made in God's image—that they're someone's child, someone's sibling—you remember the obligation to show honor. This transforms how you see them.

Run From Temptation

Jesus uses shocking hyperbolic language in Matthew 5:29-30:

"If your eye causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away... If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away."

Jesus doesn't literally expect anyone to mutilate themselves. None of his disciples did this. Instead, he's using Jewish teaching language where the "eye" represents thoughts and the "hand" represents actions. He's saying: cut lustful thoughts out of your mind; cut off lustful acts from your life.

But there's a deeper truth here. You can cut off your eyes and hands, but if your heart remains unchanged, the problem persists. The real issue is internal. You need a new heart. This is why Jesus came—to give us new hearts and to put his Spirit in us, transforming us from the inside out.

When temptation comes, the Bible gives one clear command: Run. Run from pornography. Run from flirtation that's becoming inappropriate. Run from situations where you know you'll be tempted. This isn't weakness; it's wisdom. It's taking your faith seriously.

I learned this as a 19-year-old working at a water park, surrounded by temptation. My friend put a small cross on his boot as a reminder of what Jesus did for him. Whenever temptation arose, he'd look down and remember. Do whatever you need to do to take this seriously.

Seek God's Forgiveness

Many of us carry shame in this area. Some have experienced abuse. Others struggle with pornography or other sexual temptations on a daily basis. Whatever your struggle, understand this: there is nothing you could do that would put you outside God's love and forgiveness.

Sexual sin is not the unforgivable sin. Throughout Scripture, God used people with colorful pasts—sex workers, people with multiple partners, those who committed sexual manipulation. When they surrendered to God, he used them powerfully despite their history.

You are forgiven and free in Jesus Christ. Get accountability in your life. Take steps toward victory. But don't beat yourself up to the point of condemnation. Lean into your faith and let God heal, forgive, and restore you, because he can and he will.

A Warning Against Judgment

One more thing: this area often brings out judgment in us. If we're experiencing victory in our own lives, we can become judgmental toward others, policing their behavior and worrying about what they're doing.

Don't do this. Worry about your own heart. Say to God, "Help me honor you at the heart level and live worthy of the grace I've received freely." Leave judgment to God.

Honor God With Your Body

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 concludes with this powerful truth:

"You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So, you must honor God with your body."

God sent his one and only Son to die on a cross to pay the price for your sins. This means you have high value:

• Your failures don't own you
• Your past doesn't define you
• You're more than your pain, your regrets, your shame
• Your self-worth isn't set by what others say
• You haven't been cast into the discount bin of life
• Your sins are forgiven
• Your future is secure
• Your salvation is set
• Your reward is waiting

God bought you for a high price. So honor him with your body. When you do, you won't end up destroyed by the kind of pain that comes from sexual compromise. You won't experience the devastation of infidelity, the loss of reputation, the heartbreak that comes from honoring desires instead of God.

You'll experience instead the freedom, healing, and restoration that come from honoring God and honoring each other.