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Part 10 of 19COURAGE TO COMMIT VOL. 2
Courage to Commit
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Part 10 of 19COURAGE TO COMMIT VOL. 2
Courage to Commit
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Connected by scripture or shared themes.
I wanted to do something special today—tag team this teaching with my brother, Pastor Darius McClure. We've been talking about the principle of partnerships, and I can't think of a better partner than my baby brother. So let's preach together today.
Do not give what is holy to dogs. And do not throw your pearls before swine, or they will trample them under their feet and turn and tear you to pieces.
I want to preach today from this topic: This Is Too Toxic for Me.
We're in the midst of a series entitled The Courage to Commit. This isn't just a message—there is stuff that God has stored up for you that He's waiting on you to grab your key and unlock.
When we talk about locks, certain types come to mind. Some locks, like those on a safe, require a combination code. You can't get in because you can't create the code. In spirituality, when you decide to create a code, you're saying, "My way should make this work."
But here's what I discovered: There are some doors you're going to walk through that you won't be allowed to get back out of. When you answer God's call and walk through that door, that door locks. You cannot revoke or renege on what God called you to do. When Jonah tried to walk back out of his door, God sent a storm and made him sit still until he decided to keep moving.
The principle of generosity is a heart that's willing to give that leads to a life that freely gives. This has revolutionized my life because we can be so self-centered that we don't see God created us to serve like Him. Jesus said, "I came to this earth to seek and to save those that are lost."
We are never more like the Father than when we're serving God's people. But here's what's important: we often limit serving to generosity with finances. What about being generous with your time? Your gift? Your platform?
Most of us only view serving horizontally—helping somebody else. But the first form of serving is surrendering. Put this in your notes: A person who will never surrender to God will never serve another person.
Your husband will never treat you right if he won't submit to God. Your wife will never honor you if she won't honor God. Jesus spent 30 years surrendering to the Father before He ever served God's people. Only three years serving. When you don't learn how to surrender to God first, you won't serve people—you will only please people.
There's a difference between serving and people-pleasing. I'm not trying to please you. I'm trying to serve you. Whether you receive my generosity or not won't make me mad, because I'm not doing it for your approval. I'm doing it to hear, "Well done, my good and faithful servant."
The mindset principle suggests that what I believe about me often determines what I believe about God. It's a sad thing to see God right but see yourself wrong.
Throughout Scripture, God reminds us who we are. He says: "You are the head. You are blessed going in and going out. You're fearfully and wonderfully made." Life has a way of making us forget who we are. It's one thing to see Him right, but what's going to happen in your life when you start seeing you right?
Here's what's crazy: Throughout the Bible, God says, "I'm gonna let you discover Me, but I'm gonna tell you who you are." I'm gonna make you go through something to find out who I am. But if you would just surrender, I'll tell you who you are.
Let me tell you what you are: You are blessed. You are favored. You are anointed. You are healed. You are prosperous. You are strong. You're fearfully and wonderfully made. You're getting ready to be greater. You're walking in overflow, walking in blessing. You're the head and not the tail.
The principle of multiplication suggests that God did not simply create us to maintain, but to multiply. We often settle for addition when God created us for multiplication.
Be careful when you are surrounded by people who only add to you and don't help you multiply. Some of you are frustrated and empty right now because you keep settling for half people when you can't create a whole relationship with only half a person.
Having a person who adds to you isn't negative. The problem is it should develop into multiplication. Two plus two is four. Two times two is four. But two plus three is five, and two times three is six. Going from four to five isn't bad, but after a certain while, I've got to stop taking baby steps. If we're growing together, you should help me multiply.
Freedom is not doing whatever you want to do—freedom is doing what you were created to do. Sometimes we settle for culture's version of freedom, not the kingdom's version. The prodigal son got everything from his father and used his freedom for what he wanted to do, and he ended up in a pig's pen.
When I apply the principle of freedom, I am also embracing the pace of God for my life. The pace. The rhythm. The flow. The tempo. The rate at which God wants to get you. The timing where He wants you to be.
If you get on the freeway and say, "I'm free," here's what's crazy—they call it the freeway, but you can't be free as you want to be. The freeway comes with accountability. If you want to go at the max, you've got to get in the left lane. Some of you keep crashing because you're trying to do what you want in a right lane, and the right lane isn't made for the speed you're trying to go.
Pace is important. I'm so glad God didn't let me do what I'm doing when I wanted to do it. Had God given me all this at 27, you wouldn't like me. I was ambitious, young, sort of a rebel. I couldn't tell myself nothing. My whole energy was trying to prove anybody who doubted me wrong. That's not a healthy motivating factor.
I remember when I was trying to rush the pace. God said to me, "You and your team and your church and your family—can't none of y'all handle what you're praying for. I'm not gonna not give it to you. I'm just gonna slow down the pace and let you grow up so you can be ready for it."
Impatience is an enemy to your increase. If the Devil can't slow you down, he will try to speed you up. And you know what I discovered? He doesn't speed the blessing up—he speeds your ambition and immaturity up.
All the Devil does is have a conversation. "Come here, Eve." If a devil can talk angels out of heaven, he can absolutely talk you into hell.
The principle of partnership suggests that trusting the wrong people will make you worse, but trusting the right people will help you win.
Do I have some people making up in your mind in 2023 and moving forward that you're being selective about your partners? You cannot become the right person when you're surrounded by the wrong people.
Proverbs 13:20 says: "If you walk with the wise, you will become wise. But if you hang around fools, your life will fall to destruction." You don't even have to be a fool—just hang with them, and they'll destroy your life.
I'm making up my mind: I'm not just protecting my peace. I'm also protecting my partners because I don't need the wrong people making me worse. God, send me the right people to help me win.
The right people won't always feel like the right fit. Most times when God sends you somebody, He will send you something you don't want. That's why the friend you thought would ride with you is missing, and the person you didn't see coming is still standing there. God ain't trying to fit your criteria—He's trying to fashion your destiny.
I thank God my brother isn't exactly like me. He's got a different pace. We flow different. It helps me be better at me. When I'm creative, he brings a different lens. So when I see it, my first conversation is, "I don't like that." Then when I sit on it, I think, "Why not?"
Some of you are gonna miss God because you're looking for people who are gonna have a party and not push you to purpose. They've got a vibe, but do they have vision? A vibe with no victory. Everybody who's just a vibe will eventually play victim. The moment you lock in, they're going to guilt you into thinking something is wrong with the fact that you decided to get right.
If you're going to be in my life, you've got to be committed to the stuff that I'm committed to.
The principle of transformation suggests that my gift will change others, but my character will change me. Your gift will change others, but your wisdom will change you.
Many of us are trying to impress people with our gift. Your gift says a lot about God, but your character says a lot about you. This is for people who are great at helping everyone else and giving everyone else all the great advice, and then you look in the mirror and realize you need to start listening to yourself.
Let me say something we don't usually say in church because we've got to maintain certain images: Some of the most gifted people have the most issues.
Put this in your notes: They never report about the planes that make it. They only report on the planes that crash. Your success will be rewarded with silence. Your crash will be rewarded with conversations.
When people begin to whisper about your downfalls, that's when God steps back and allows the betrayal, the pain, the embarrassment—all of that to develop you. If God allowed you to have a public crucifixion, it's because He's setting you up for a public resurrection.
The principle of the pick suggests that who you choose to be in your life will either be an asset or an assault. Simply put: We cannot live right if we pick wrong.
We've talked about the principle of partnership, but we have to go back and make sure you're picking the right partners. If we're not careful, we'll just run out and pick whoever is around.
The principle of the pick suggests that who you choose to be in your life will either be an asset or an assault. Simply put: we cannot live right if we pick wrong. We've talked about the principle of partnership, but we have to go back and make sure you're picking the right partners. If we're not careful, we'll just run out and pick whoever is around.
If you're believing God for partnership—whether it's people you're dating, potentially marriage, friends, business partners, those to share your life with, or intercessors—put this in your notes: Leave it vacant before you rush and place it. At 39, about to be 40, I'm discovering that there are certain people and certain things that are incredible, but they just don't fit me. I'm turning down opportunities now that people around me say I'm crazy about. They say that stuff doesn't come back around. I know. But the only problem is who I would have to partner with to do it.
Watch this: If I partner with the right person, I get their favor and their fights. If I partner with the wrong person, because I'm the one with the favor, I end up exhausted because I'm having to fight for both of us.
It made me think about growing up how we used to go to parties. My friends and I were a little bit toxic. They looked at another group of guys and said, "Y'all deep, we deep. Let's fight." The problem is the person on the other team pulled out a gun, and none of us had one. I'm looking like, "Lord, if you get me out of this, you know that prayer...I'll never."
Before I knew it, while he's running at us with a gun, he makes a U-turn. I'm like, what made him turn around? I didn't realize that the police had pulled up with their signal lights. Because I was connected to the wrong partners, I almost caught an assault on my life. But because the right partner showed up, y'all are having church with me right now. What was meant to kill me, God gave me another chance.
I want to preach to some people in this room today: There are some attacks showing up in your life, not because you're living wrong, but because you're connected to the wrong people.
Picking is the process of discerning. Often times we're trying to pick without developing our discernment. Here's the key: The quality of your discernment or your pick will be based on the condition of your heart. Sometimes we're trying to make big picks with broken hearts.
Let me say this clearly: Sometimes we're trying to make big picks with broken hearts. We're trying to come to the altar and marry someone when we never mended a broken heart from a past relationship. We're trying to get a big job or promotion when we're still disappointed from what happened with our last opportunity. Stop making big picks with broken hearts.
Here's something critical: God will teach us how to choose, but he will not choose for us. Sometimes you don't know what's in people until you choose what's best for you.
I want to say this because I like being well-balanced: There are certain people you're going to pick in life, and because of both of you, your life may take y'all in some crazy turns. Y'all may fall out, end up hurting each other. It may not always be heaven. I don't want you to think the principle of partnership is tied to no pain. When you really love a person, pain comes with it.
Watch this: There's a difference between being attached and in covenant. If somebody's attached to me, it's like Velcro. If anything pulls hard enough, they'll leave. It stays long enough, it may not even stick anymore. But covenant is so bound that I couldn't get you out my spirit or out my life even if I see. Life will have a way of making y'all always come full circle.
The pick does not mean it won't go through seasons of separation. I almost lost my brother forever because in a certain season we were bumping heads. I had stuff I wanted to do. He had stuff he wanted to do. I was somewhat prideful and arrogant. He had a little bit in him too. We ended up going our separate ways, not talking for about a year.
Do you know how hard that is to not talk to somebody you used to be in the tub with? Somebody that at 15, I would be on one side of the room in my bed, he'd be on the other side in his bed, and it was us. Us. Us.
But what I discovered now is that season was equivalent to college. For 25, 27, 30 years we've been joined at the hip. He needed a season of discovery. I needed a season of discovery. If it didn't happen, he wouldn't be as strong as he is right now. I wouldn't be as stable and sensitive about relationships as I am right now.
Don't leave here thinking that the principle of partnership and the principle of the pick means it's going to be painless. Jesus picks 12, and all of them hurt him. Every disciple caused him agony. One betrayed him. One doubted him. All of them forsook him. Yet there's no verse that says, "And Jesus dismissed them never to be around them again."
The only time we see Jesus dismiss them is for what? Prayer. And prayer is equivalent to development. So even in my pick, I'm going to need a season where I say whoa, and the people who love you will be there when you get back. That's so good.
I was talking to my band last night about big shows coming up, and I told them something: "Don't ever in your life hold nothing from me that can help me, even if it's going to hurt me. If I'm trash, I need you to love me enough to say, the level at which you're winning, you got to tighten up. You're embarrassing you and you're embarrassing us. To spare my feelings is to rob my destiny."
Now, I want to be free. Everybody can't do that to me. One of y'all walk up to me and say I'm trash, I'm gonna look back at you and say something. But what I'm saying is there are certain people in my life who we have hurt, cried, won, suffered, and lost enough that if they—because they are partners—and watch this: Proximity does not determine value of partnership. Some of the people I'm around the most ain't the ones I trust the most. The voice you need to activate destiny sometimes won't come within proximity. Partnership does not always equal proximity.
David makes a mistake. Nobody in his proximity checked him. He sleeps with Bathsheba. But then the prophet Nathan from outside walked in and said, "You are that man. You need to get your house in order." And because you did this, God said, "You can't skate free. It's going to cost you your son because you took this man's life."
Sometimes it's tit for tat. That's what we don't talk about when it comes to God. You would tithe, pray, and treat people better if you realized even the hell you caught could have been worse. What if God hit you tit for tat?
You cannot make the right choices while listening to the wrong voices. God will send people into your life for your calling. Often times, we want people in our life for our company.
You need to know: How do I know if someone is toxic or not? Because when they speak, poison comes out their mouth. Define poison: Anything that will paralyze, infect, or destroy you.
How do I discern the difference between poison and purpose?
Poison will speak to my perversions. Often time poison will make you feel good about what your spirit is screaming out about.
I want to give you some homework:
Our greatest pain may come from giving our greatest treasures to the wrong people. Jesus warns us in Matthew 7:6:
"Do not give what is holy to dogs and do not throw your pearls before swine. They will trample them under their feet and turn and tear you to pieces."
When he says do not give what is holy, he's saying: Do not give what belongs to God to those who are not with God. Do not give what's holy to dogs.
Let's think about dogs. What are some attributes of a dog? Loyal. Yes. But here's the heavy part: Loyalty and longevity look alike. Just because you've been around long doesn't mean you've been around strong.
Have they been loyal or has this been longevity? Let me look at it from both angles. Loyalty doesn't mean they haven't acted a fool. Let me say this: A pastor's wife stepped out 17 years ago, but has she been there? Have y'all grown through that? Have y'all both been pursuing God? Is loyalty perfection? No.
Jesus gives three individuals a set of talents. Two of them doubled what they had. One buried it and produced nothing with it. He looked at the other two and said, "You've been faithful over a few things." But the other one kept what he gave him. He was loyal, but he wasn't faithful. Faithfulness bears fruit. Loyalty just keeps company. Sometimes we confuse loyalty with faithfulness.
So I'm not saying accept toxicity and ignore bad cycles. What I am saying is sometimes we throw people away who were actually loyal. He talked about me one time. Now I can't trust him ever. Your friend betrayed you once, and now you're so headstrong that you say, "No, once a lie, always a lie."
So when you get to the gates and you're standing in line, God's going to look at you and say, "Once a blank, always a blank." So you mean to tell me you ain't loyal to God, yet you demand perfection from somebody just as jacked up as you?
I'm not always going to get it right as your pastor. I'm going to make some decisions that might have been the wrong decision. I may do something one day. God forbid that I got to stand right here and my dad got to stand on this side of me and say, "Hey, church, I failed."
Let me ask you a question: If you picked me when I was winning, will you discard me when I'm losing? What I've discovered is most of our partnerships will never make it because they are only tied to success. At the end of the day, the person was loyal. We fell out. Yes. But now here you are around people who we all know gonna leave you for a better opportunity.
So what am I realizing at 40? See people for who they are. But loyalty won't always be comfortable.
Let me talk about pearls. Do you know that a pearl comes from an oyster? The sand sometimes gets inside that shellfish because of life. The oyster doesn't pick the sand. Life happens to the oyster. The sand causes irritation. So the oyster is now uncomfortable, sort of like a kidney stone.
But then the oyster makes a decision. It secretes a liquid and keeps secreting it, irritating it enough that it makes it hard. So a pearl is not birthed from satisfaction and education. A pearl is birthed from irritation and aggravation.
How do you know you're going to another level? When you can flip the stuff that irritates and aggravates you. I want to preach to some people in this room and online: Sometimes your irritation is a prophetic sign of your elevation.
Some of you need to shout right now. Not because God has been elevating you, but because He's been irritating you. Life's been irritating you. Do you have some people who can say, "When I go to work, I'm irritated. When I go home, I'm irritated. When I look at my bank account, I'm irritated"? Don't be frustrated over the irritation. Say, "God, I'm ready for this elevation."
I dare you to give God a praise in advance for the irritation right now that's setting you up for your elevation.
Irritation is sometimes a prophetic indication of elevation. Instead of just crying, let me submit and suggest to you something from Paul, the talented tent maker from Tarsus.
Paul gives us a code on how to unlock destiny. Paul says because of the surpassing greatness of the revelation given to me, some sand—a thorn in my flesh. He said, "I kept asking God to take it out, but like a pearl, I realized I could use this."
I don't know who I'm preaching to tonight, but instead of asking God to get rid of it, you ought to jump up and shout, "I can use this." It may not feel good, but I can use this. I may cry at night, but I can use this. I may want to run away, but I can use it. I had some long days, but I can use this.
You ought to grab your neighbor and shake them and say: "Everything that's driving you crazy, use it. The boss that's driving you crazy, use it. The ex that's trying to make you run, use it." The irritation you're experiencing—use it. Because what God is doing through that irritation is setting you up for elevation.
Paul asked God three times, "Remove it." God said, "Use it." Paul then pivots and says, "Your grace is sufficient. I got enough." In other words, when I was praying for you to remove it, you gave me the grace to use it.
It's some stuff you've been asking God to get out of your life that He said, "No, you're graced for this." Some of the frustration and pain you've been carrying—look at your neighbor and say, "I'm graced for this."
Don't give it to dogs. Don't give it to swine. I want to give you six types of people you can't pick.
Projects are those you should be building with, but you have to build up. Has anybody in the room been in a partnership with someone that should have been building with you, but you had to invest your energy and efforts building them up instead?
I'm speaking that God is sending iron into your life because the Bible says iron sharpens iron. You won't be settling for plastic people. God sent me some people that I don't have to build up, but I can start building with.
However, sometimes certain people may be projects in our life, but not projects in other people's life. We may be toxic with enabling other people. Our behavior and our dysfunction from the past may be enabling people to depend on us because we might need to be needed.
Sometimes the pick who you chose is actually blocking the pick. This is something we're going to have to pray about in this season.
Our church is growing at such a pace that if we're not careful, old ushers won't like new ushers. Old media won't like new media. Old singers won't like new singers. Old band won't like new band. Old leaders won't like new leaders. A toxic mindset will always crave for what was. An unquenching desire to recapture what was means you only have an appetite for the past.
God prepares a buffet called future and He calls an appetizer called present. But you're sitting at the table prepared for you thinking about the microwave dinner you used to have.
I'm not who I was. I'm not who I was. This church ain't what it was. And that's good.
I realize that no matter how hard I pray, some seasons of life will never be that again. Do I resent my kids because they're evolving? This is why when people leave our staff, when people leave our church, I'm trying to create a culture where we celebrate people who do stuff right. Disagreements and destiny shouldn't be grounds for dismissal. Just because we ain't getting along or you've grown, I shouldn't penalize you for growth and you shouldn't penalize me either.
When people leave our church, we should say, "This person was good to us. I love her. I love him. They were a blessing. Let's make sure we throw a party. Let's celebrate."
I like preaching in balance. I was a project. Yeah. And you were a project too. Somebody's going to be called to assemble you. The problem is sometimes we fall in love with our assignments.
Often times in messages like this, we listen from the posture of who else this can help and not how this can help us.
Parasites are those who only make withdrawals but no deposits. Churches are dying right now, not because of a lack of anointing, but because of a lack of deposits. And I'm not just talking about financial.
The people in the pews are becoming mirage members. What's a mirage member? It's like in the desert. You're thirsty and you see a need and you see someone from a distance and they look real until you go and try to pull something from them. There's nothing there. You realize that was just a mirage.
Parasites are people who make withdrawals but no deposits.
All deposits aren't created equal. Young couples do stuff like "my money your money." If you're scared they gonna blow your money, you shouldn't have picked them. So here you are now because you rushed to pick, trying to police it. No, this is our money. Let's sit down and talk.
Until they do something crazy, it's ours. If you know you ain't good with it, don't try to be a boss. I'm the head of the house. Be the head. Just don't be over the money.
I want to make this very clear: I'm the head of the house. But I want to make sure you handle the money and I'm going be overseeing how you handle the money—no, that's not how it works. Being unequally yoked is putting a rope around my neck and a rope around their neck. That's not just in marriage. That's in relationships. That's in business partnerships.
If me and my brother ain't equally yoked, and him and my wife are running this big thing together, if they ain't equally yoked, that's a rope around her neck and a rope around his neck. If he's trying to take the ministry this way and she's trying to take it that way, either he's going to choke the life out of her or she's going to choke the life out of him.
Sometimes your relationships and business partnerships are having trouble breathing because the God in you is running from the demon in them or the destiny in you is calling you in a new direction. If we ain't careful, we're going to make all separations demonic.
Yesterday, my pastor Hollis shot me a text. He had a jam-packed service last night in Nashville. I'm so proud of him and everybody who's there. As soon as I got out of my rehearsals, I was watching the stream. I stepped out of rehearsal, FaceTimed, and prayed with him before he got in the car. I said, "You got this. You got this." He was so excited about it. Him being in Nashville is a good thing.
God was calling him to something. And if I was selfish and wanted to keep him next to me, we would have eventually fallen out—not because of disrespect, but because the destiny in me was going this way, but God was pulling him.
So, I set him down three and a half years ago. When the pandemic happened, we made a pact. I said, "Don't sugarcoat it. Be honest. What you want to do?" He looked at me and said, "I want to do what you doing. When I see you do that, I come alive. I want to do what you doing." I said, "Okay. How long can I count on you?" He said, "Three years." I said, "For three years, give me everything you got."
Three years came, now we're seeing to it. He walks in destiny. That's partnership. It's not lordship. That's autonomously his church. He's the pastor of one city. So to see him in destiny, that's rich. All the deposits he's made weren't always equal, but a deposit is still a deposit.
I'm trying to free your mind. If we ain't careful, especially in the African-American context, we think people have to be eternal. Just because you're not in my presence don't mean you left my heart. There is a great coming back happening. Whether we like it or not, there are certain places and certain people in our lives who are destiny keys for us.
Pretenders are those with great potential but are committed to bad patterns. They have great potential, but are committed to bad patterns. They're committed to showing others what they want to see, but they're not committed on becoming who they need to be.
You can't fix a pattern. You fix problems. You have to break a pattern. We can confuse problems with patterns. Sometimes we may be in toxic cycles because we're connected to toxic people.
There's a word that makes me sick to my stomach: "Church hurt." Church hurt makes me sick to my stomach because it was created demonically and used as a weapon of mass distraction.
Whoever went out one night and had a good time, met somebody and it didn't work out—do you say you got club hurt? Who's never gone to a restaurant, paid good money, and the food was nasty, and the person was mean? Do you have Papa Do hurt?
I got Burger King hurt. How many times have you gone to McDonald's and the milkshake machine didn't work and the ice cream machine didn't work, yet you still pull up asking, "Does the machine work?" How many times you don't went to Popeyes and they ain't have no ticket? Are you grieving because you got Popeyes hurt?
But you got in some stuff you shouldn't have been in and a circle you shouldn't have been with at a place that was only meant to help you. And now you want to say it's the place. But if it keeps happening at every place, it may be you.
We make everything a soul tie now. Well, you know, we was friends, but I can't get on my friend because that's a friend tie-in. Here's another word we use wrong a lot of times: "Triggered." Well, I'm triggered. You triggered me. No, no.
What I'm discovering in this season of our life is God is calling us to work on us. I made some mistakes. I know that I'm wrong. I'm trying to do better.
Before you leave here and you say, "You know what, I got to cut you out cuz you're a project"—stop and say, "Am I a project?" That's heavy. That's heavy. I lost some good members in the past because they found me when I was favored but still a project.
Pastors don't talk like that. I didn't know who I was as a man, a father, husband, let alone a pastor. I'm 28, 29, 30 and gifted. So I could preach, but I was still a project. The only way I knew how to get stuff right was to fuss. I was crazy. When I say anal, anal. Church starts at 9:00 a.m. I'm there at 6. The first person there. Staff probably drove them crazy.
But you're the answer. You're the answer. And what I'm trying to get you to realize is before you leave here, baby girl, my man, before you leave here and you say, you know what, I got to cut you out cuz you're a project—stop and say, am I a project? That's heavy. That's heavy.
I'm the problem. I'm the problem. I lost some good members in the past because they found me when I was favored but still a project. I didn't know who I was as a man, a father, husband, let alone a pastor. I'm 28, 29, 30 and gifted. So I could preach, but I was still a project. The only way I knew how to get stuff right was to fuss. I was crazy. When I say anal, anal. Church starts at 9:00 a.m. I'm there at 6. The first person there. Everybody get to the church. Staff probably drove them crazy.
I would wake up in the middle of the night. Get to the church. Something hit my spirit at midnight. Whole staff got to get up and come to the church at midnight. "Here's what God told me. We going to add a service. All right. I see y'all tomorrow." And it was crazy, but my method may have been somewhat wrong, but I believe God knew my motus operandi. He knowing my spirit—He a little rough around the edges.
My method may have been harsh, but my heart was in the right place. I'm always used me as the villain. I was a project.
Number two: parasites. There have been seasons where I've been a parasite. See, parasite ain't always intentional. You can be so passionate you don't even realize all you're doing is taking withdrawals.
"Praise team. I love y'all. I love y'all. Do me a favor. Here's what I need from y'all. I need y'all to get to church at 8. I need y'all to sing at 8. I'm going to put y'all on the bus. Go east side. Go sing at 9:00. Get back on the bus. Go downtown. Sing at 10:30. Leave 10:30. Come back to Farsdale. Sing at 12:30. Then Tuesday, I need you to sing at 12:00 noon. I need you to sing at 7 p.m. Then I need you to use your own gas to drive all the way to Tuscaloosa on Wednesday. Then come back to church on Thursday. AND IF YOU DON'T do it, you ain't committed." That was kind of parasitic when I look back at it.
You know, sadly, we didn't have no money for real. No real resources. Contrary to popular belief, we ain't have nothing. 80% of the church was being financed by whatever we could just find. If I could do it the way I wanted to, each one of them would have had sort of like a little green card from Regions. I tried to do it. Regions had got me these little green cards where I could just give everybody gas cards and I was going to every week put gas money on the phone. Only problem was after the first week, the devil is I ain't have no money for all that.
I used to try to do breakfast. I used to do breakfast before church. Today was late one day. Cut that out the budget. I ain't got no breakfast money.
So I'm trying to get you to see: in every season of your life, you may somewhat be parasitic. If you the friend who always share your problems in the moment they want to talk and you got to go now—parasitic.
Number three: pretenders. Pretenders are those with great potential but also committed to bad patterns. I don't think I've ever in my life been a pretender. I have been a problem, but I'm not a pretender. You know, I do have problematic situations that happen in my life sometimes, but I'm not committed to bad patterns.
Number four: painkillers. Painkillers are those who feel good to your flesh, but kill your faith.
Now, because we've been conditioned—somebody say conditioned. We've been conditioned mentally and spiritually to think every time you hear the word flesh, you think sex. Can we tell the truth? Every time you hear flesh, you think what? Sex.
I want to look at this from a different lens. Some of the greatest painkillers in my life have been people who never touch me, but they made the stuff I shouldn't be doing comfortable. I can cuss around them. Who got that friend? Who know what I'm talking about? I can cuss a little bit around them.
Painkillers can only do two things: make you numb or go to sleep. And there's some painkillers in your life that are not pills but people, and they've been making you sleep on your destiny or make you numb and incapable of being able to connect emotionally with people in your life.
Because sometimes you have to ask yourself with the painkiller: Is this burying the old me or resurrecting the old me?
Painkillers can only do two things. They can either make you numb or they make you go to sleep. And the question you have to ask yourself is: are they burying the old you or resurrecting the old you?
Number five: possessors. Possessive people. Possessive people attempt to use care as control.
They don't love you. They're just using you. "Well, I'm telling you not to do that cuz I care about you." In some instances, that is true. That's why you got to have discernment.
Because sometimes you think they're checking in for support when really they're just keeping surveillance. Some of you don't have a support group. You got a neighborhood watch. They not with you. They just watching you. They not with you. They just watching you.
Stop trying to push possessive people away because God said, "I'll make I'll prepare a table in the presence of your enemies." And sometimes the table isn't prepared yet because you keep pushing away the people that God want to watch you eat.
AND THAT'S SPECIAL because at high-end restaurants, they won't EVEN SIT YOU UNTIL THE WHOLE PARTY SHOWS UP. SO INSTEAD OF RUNNING PEOPLE OUT YOUR LIFE, YOU OUGHT TO LET THEM GET STAY CLOSE ENOUGH CUZ THE TABLE GOD IS ABOUT TO PREPARE FOR YOU. EYES HAVE NOT SEEN, ears have not heard. YOU OUGHT TO SHOUT, I RECEIVE THAT.
Number six: petty people. Petty people create mountains out of my own heels. Instead of helping you overcome, they leave you overwhelmed.
Because here it is: when you're connected to a petty person, they don't infect you with bad thinking, they infect you with small thinking.
Test yourselves to make sure you are solid in the faith. Look at this scripture. Don't drift along taking everything for granted. Give yourself regular checkups. (2 Corinthians 13:5, The Message)
This entire week in DVO energy—don't miss a day. We're going to be breaking down each one of these types that we can't pick. But more importantly, as my father prepares to come, I pray we don't become what we don't need to pick. Cuz if we're not careful, this is heavy right here. Somebody going to be praying to get you out their life.
For many of us that are feeling like we've been dropped along the way cuz we've made some bad picks—several times we've been dropped real hard and we made big dents in the ground. Some of those dents became graves and we felt like we were deep, buried deeply, and we were forgotten and we were lost. But I want you to just hold on a little while longer.
You fell to the ground and you broke the ground. But I got good news for you. God has something great in your destiny. And you can never have a grand opening without first having a groundbreaking. So God allowed you to break the ground because you're on the way to your grand opening. If you know you about to do something grand, can somebody give God praise right there?
I wanted to do something special today—tag team this teaching with my brother, Pastor Darius McClure. We've been talking about the principle of partnerships, and I can't think of a better partner than my baby brother. So let's preach together today.
Do not give what is holy to dogs. And do not throw your pearls before swine, or they will trample them under their feet and turn and tear you to pieces.
I want to preach today from this topic: This Is Too Toxic for Me.
We're in the midst of a series entitled The Courage to Commit. This isn't just a message—there is stuff that God has stored up for you that He's waiting on you to grab your key and unlock.
When we talk about locks, certain types come to mind. Some locks, like those on a safe, require a combination code. You can't get in because you can't create the code. In spirituality, when you decide to create a code, you're saying, "My way should make this work."
But here's what I discovered: There are some doors you're going to walk through that you won't be allowed to get back out of. When you answer God's call and walk through that door, that door locks. You cannot revoke or renege on what God called you to do. When Jonah tried to walk back out of his door, God sent a storm and made him sit still until he decided to keep moving.
The principle of generosity is a heart that's willing to give that leads to a life that freely gives. This has revolutionized my life because we can be so self-centered that we don't see God created us to serve like Him. Jesus said, "I came to this earth to seek and to save those that are lost."
We are never more like the Father than when we're serving God's people. But here's what's important: we often limit serving to generosity with finances. What about being generous with your time? Your gift? Your platform?
Most of us only view serving horizontally—helping somebody else. But the first form of serving is surrendering. Put this in your notes: A person who will never surrender to God will never serve another person.
Your husband will never treat you right if he won't submit to God. Your wife will never honor you if she won't honor God. Jesus spent 30 years surrendering to the Father before He ever served God's people. Only three years serving. When you don't learn how to surrender to God first, you won't serve people—you will only please people.
There's a difference between serving and people-pleasing. I'm not trying to please you. I'm trying to serve you. Whether you receive my generosity or not won't make me mad, because I'm not doing it for your approval. I'm doing it to hear, "Well done, my good and faithful servant."
The mindset principle suggests that what I believe about me often determines what I believe about God. It's a sad thing to see God right but see yourself wrong.
Throughout Scripture, God reminds us who we are. He says: "You are the head. You are blessed going in and going out. You're fearfully and wonderfully made." Life has a way of making us forget who we are. It's one thing to see Him right, but what's going to happen in your life when you start seeing you right?
Here's what's crazy: Throughout the Bible, God says, "I'm gonna let you discover Me, but I'm gonna tell you who you are." I'm gonna make you go through something to find out who I am. But if you would just surrender, I'll tell you who you are.
Let me tell you what you are: You are blessed. You are favored. You are anointed. You are healed. You are prosperous. You are strong. You're fearfully and wonderfully made. You're getting ready to be greater. You're walking in overflow, walking in blessing. You're the head and not the tail.
The principle of multiplication suggests that God did not simply create us to maintain, but to multiply. We often settle for addition when God created us for multiplication.
Be careful when you are surrounded by people who only add to you and don't help you multiply. Some of you are frustrated and empty right now because you keep settling for half people when you can't create a whole relationship with only half a person.
Having a person who adds to you isn't negative. The problem is it should develop into multiplication. Two plus two is four. Two times two is four. But two plus three is five, and two times three is six. Going from four to five isn't bad, but after a certain while, I've got to stop taking baby steps. If we're growing together, you should help me multiply.
Freedom is not doing whatever you want to do—freedom is doing what you were created to do. Sometimes we settle for culture's version of freedom, not the kingdom's version. The prodigal son got everything from his father and used his freedom for what he wanted to do, and he ended up in a pig's pen.
When I apply the principle of freedom, I am also embracing the pace of God for my life. The pace. The rhythm. The flow. The tempo. The rate at which God wants to get you. The timing where He wants you to be.
If you get on the freeway and say, "I'm free," here's what's crazy—they call it the freeway, but you can't be free as you want to be. The freeway comes with accountability. If you want to go at the max, you've got to get in the left lane. Some of you keep crashing because you're trying to do what you want in a right lane, and the right lane isn't made for the speed you're trying to go.
Pace is important. I'm so glad God didn't let me do what I'm doing when I wanted to do it. Had God given me all this at 27, you wouldn't like me. I was ambitious, young, sort of a rebel. I couldn't tell myself nothing. My whole energy was trying to prove anybody who doubted me wrong. That's not a healthy motivating factor.
I remember when I was trying to rush the pace. God said to me, "You and your team and your church and your family—can't none of y'all handle what you're praying for. I'm not gonna not give it to you. I'm just gonna slow down the pace and let you grow up so you can be ready for it."
Impatience is an enemy to your increase. If the Devil can't slow you down, he will try to speed you up. And you know what I discovered? He doesn't speed the blessing up—he speeds your ambition and immaturity up.
All the Devil does is have a conversation. "Come here, Eve." If a devil can talk angels out of heaven, he can absolutely talk you into hell.
The principle of partnership suggests that trusting the wrong people will make you worse, but trusting the right people will help you win.
Do I have some people making up in your mind in 2023 and moving forward that you're being selective about your partners? You cannot become the right person when you're surrounded by the wrong people.
Proverbs 13:20 says: "If you walk with the wise, you will become wise. But if you hang around fools, your life will fall to destruction." You don't even have to be a fool—just hang with them, and they'll destroy your life.
I'm making up my mind: I'm not just protecting my peace. I'm also protecting my partners because I don't need the wrong people making me worse. God, send me the right people to help me win.
The right people won't always feel like the right fit. Most times when God sends you somebody, He will send you something you don't want. That's why the friend you thought would ride with you is missing, and the person you didn't see coming is still standing there. God ain't trying to fit your criteria—He's trying to fashion your destiny.
I thank God my brother isn't exactly like me. He's got a different pace. We flow different. It helps me be better at me. When I'm creative, he brings a different lens. So when I see it, my first conversation is, "I don't like that." Then when I sit on it, I think, "Why not?"
Some of you are gonna miss God because you're looking for people who are gonna have a party and not push you to purpose. They've got a vibe, but do they have vision? A vibe with no victory. Everybody who's just a vibe will eventually play victim. The moment you lock in, they're going to guilt you into thinking something is wrong with the fact that you decided to get right.
If you're going to be in my life, you've got to be committed to the stuff that I'm committed to.
The principle of transformation suggests that my gift will change others, but my character will change me. Your gift will change others, but your wisdom will change you.
Many of us are trying to impress people with our gift. Your gift says a lot about God, but your character says a lot about you. This is for people who are great at helping everyone else and giving everyone else all the great advice, and then you look in the mirror and realize you need to start listening to yourself.
Let me say something we don't usually say in church because we've got to maintain certain images: Some of the most gifted people have the most issues.
Put this in your notes: They never report about the planes that make it. They only report on the planes that crash. Your success will be rewarded with silence. Your crash will be rewarded with conversations.
When people begin to whisper about your downfalls, that's when God steps back and allows the betrayal, the pain, the embarrassment—all of that to develop you. If God allowed you to have a public crucifixion, it's because He's setting you up for a public resurrection.
The principle of the pick suggests that who you choose to be in your life will either be an asset or an assault. Simply put: We cannot live right if we pick wrong.
We've talked about the principle of partnership, but we have to go back and make sure you're picking the right partners. If we're not careful, we'll just run out and pick whoever is around.
The principle of the pick suggests that who you choose to be in your life will either be an asset or an assault. Simply put: we cannot live right if we pick wrong. We've talked about the principle of partnership, but we have to go back and make sure you're picking the right partners. If we're not careful, we'll just run out and pick whoever is around.
If you're believing God for partnership—whether it's people you're dating, potentially marriage, friends, business partners, those to share your life with, or intercessors—put this in your notes: Leave it vacant before you rush and place it. At 39, about to be 40, I'm discovering that there are certain people and certain things that are incredible, but they just don't fit me. I'm turning down opportunities now that people around me say I'm crazy about. They say that stuff doesn't come back around. I know. But the only problem is who I would have to partner with to do it.
Watch this: If I partner with the right person, I get their favor and their fights. If I partner with the wrong person, because I'm the one with the favor, I end up exhausted because I'm having to fight for both of us.
It made me think about growing up how we used to go to parties. My friends and I were a little bit toxic. They looked at another group of guys and said, "Y'all deep, we deep. Let's fight." The problem is the person on the other team pulled out a gun, and none of us had one. I'm looking like, "Lord, if you get me out of this, you know that prayer...I'll never."
Before I knew it, while he's running at us with a gun, he makes a U-turn. I'm like, what made him turn around? I didn't realize that the police had pulled up with their signal lights. Because I was connected to the wrong partners, I almost caught an assault on my life. But because the right partner showed up, y'all are having church with me right now. What was meant to kill me, God gave me another chance.
I want to preach to some people in this room today: There are some attacks showing up in your life, not because you're living wrong, but because you're connected to the wrong people.
Picking is the process of discerning. Often times we're trying to pick without developing our discernment. Here's the key: The quality of your discernment or your pick will be based on the condition of your heart. Sometimes we're trying to make big picks with broken hearts.
Let me say this clearly: Sometimes we're trying to make big picks with broken hearts. We're trying to come to the altar and marry someone when we never mended a broken heart from a past relationship. We're trying to get a big job or promotion when we're still disappointed from what happened with our last opportunity. Stop making big picks with broken hearts.
Here's something critical: God will teach us how to choose, but he will not choose for us. Sometimes you don't know what's in people until you choose what's best for you.
I want to say this because I like being well-balanced: There are certain people you're going to pick in life, and because of both of you, your life may take y'all in some crazy turns. Y'all may fall out, end up hurting each other. It may not always be heaven. I don't want you to think the principle of partnership is tied to no pain. When you really love a person, pain comes with it.
Watch this: There's a difference between being attached and in covenant. If somebody's attached to me, it's like Velcro. If anything pulls hard enough, they'll leave. It stays long enough, it may not even stick anymore. But covenant is so bound that I couldn't get you out my spirit or out my life even if I see. Life will have a way of making y'all always come full circle.
The pick does not mean it won't go through seasons of separation. I almost lost my brother forever because in a certain season we were bumping heads. I had stuff I wanted to do. He had stuff he wanted to do. I was somewhat prideful and arrogant. He had a little bit in him too. We ended up going our separate ways, not talking for about a year.
Do you know how hard that is to not talk to somebody you used to be in the tub with? Somebody that at 15, I would be on one side of the room in my bed, he'd be on the other side in his bed, and it was us. Us. Us.
But what I discovered now is that season was equivalent to college. For 25, 27, 30 years we've been joined at the hip. He needed a season of discovery. I needed a season of discovery. If it didn't happen, he wouldn't be as strong as he is right now. I wouldn't be as stable and sensitive about relationships as I am right now.
Don't leave here thinking that the principle of partnership and the principle of the pick means it's going to be painless. Jesus picks 12, and all of them hurt him. Every disciple caused him agony. One betrayed him. One doubted him. All of them forsook him. Yet there's no verse that says, "And Jesus dismissed them never to be around them again."
The only time we see Jesus dismiss them is for what? Prayer. And prayer is equivalent to development. So even in my pick, I'm going to need a season where I say whoa, and the people who love you will be there when you get back. That's so good.
I was talking to my band last night about big shows coming up, and I told them something: "Don't ever in your life hold nothing from me that can help me, even if it's going to hurt me. If I'm trash, I need you to love me enough to say, the level at which you're winning, you got to tighten up. You're embarrassing you and you're embarrassing us. To spare my feelings is to rob my destiny."
Now, I want to be free. Everybody can't do that to me. One of y'all walk up to me and say I'm trash, I'm gonna look back at you and say something. But what I'm saying is there are certain people in my life who we have hurt, cried, won, suffered, and lost enough that if they—because they are partners—and watch this: Proximity does not determine value of partnership. Some of the people I'm around the most ain't the ones I trust the most. The voice you need to activate destiny sometimes won't come within proximity. Partnership does not always equal proximity.
David makes a mistake. Nobody in his proximity checked him. He sleeps with Bathsheba. But then the prophet Nathan from outside walked in and said, "You are that man. You need to get your house in order." And because you did this, God said, "You can't skate free. It's going to cost you your son because you took this man's life."
Sometimes it's tit for tat. That's what we don't talk about when it comes to God. You would tithe, pray, and treat people better if you realized even the hell you caught could have been worse. What if God hit you tit for tat?
You cannot make the right choices while listening to the wrong voices. God will send people into your life for your calling. Often times, we want people in our life for our company.
You need to know: How do I know if someone is toxic or not? Because when they speak, poison comes out their mouth. Define poison: Anything that will paralyze, infect, or destroy you.
How do I discern the difference between poison and purpose?
Poison will speak to my perversions. Often time poison will make you feel good about what your spirit is screaming out about.
I want to give you some homework:
Our greatest pain may come from giving our greatest treasures to the wrong people. Jesus warns us in Matthew 7:6:
"Do not give what is holy to dogs and do not throw your pearls before swine. They will trample them under their feet and turn and tear you to pieces."
When he says do not give what is holy, he's saying: Do not give what belongs to God to those who are not with God. Do not give what's holy to dogs.
Let's think about dogs. What are some attributes of a dog? Loyal. Yes. But here's the heavy part: Loyalty and longevity look alike. Just because you've been around long doesn't mean you've been around strong.
Have they been loyal or has this been longevity? Let me look at it from both angles. Loyalty doesn't mean they haven't acted a fool. Let me say this: A pastor's wife stepped out 17 years ago, but has she been there? Have y'all grown through that? Have y'all both been pursuing God? Is loyalty perfection? No.
Jesus gives three individuals a set of talents. Two of them doubled what they had. One buried it and produced nothing with it. He looked at the other two and said, "You've been faithful over a few things." But the other one kept what he gave him. He was loyal, but he wasn't faithful. Faithfulness bears fruit. Loyalty just keeps company. Sometimes we confuse loyalty with faithfulness.
So I'm not saying accept toxicity and ignore bad cycles. What I am saying is sometimes we throw people away who were actually loyal. He talked about me one time. Now I can't trust him ever. Your friend betrayed you once, and now you're so headstrong that you say, "No, once a lie, always a lie."
So when you get to the gates and you're standing in line, God's going to look at you and say, "Once a blank, always a blank." So you mean to tell me you ain't loyal to God, yet you demand perfection from somebody just as jacked up as you?
I'm not always going to get it right as your pastor. I'm going to make some decisions that might have been the wrong decision. I may do something one day. God forbid that I got to stand right here and my dad got to stand on this side of me and say, "Hey, church, I failed."
Let me ask you a question: If you picked me when I was winning, will you discard me when I'm losing? What I've discovered is most of our partnerships will never make it because they are only tied to success. At the end of the day, the person was loyal. We fell out. Yes. But now here you are around people who we all know gonna leave you for a better opportunity.
So what am I realizing at 40? See people for who they are. But loyalty won't always be comfortable.
Let me talk about pearls. Do you know that a pearl comes from an oyster? The sand sometimes gets inside that shellfish because of life. The oyster doesn't pick the sand. Life happens to the oyster. The sand causes irritation. So the oyster is now uncomfortable, sort of like a kidney stone.
But then the oyster makes a decision. It secretes a liquid and keeps secreting it, irritating it enough that it makes it hard. So a pearl is not birthed from satisfaction and education. A pearl is birthed from irritation and aggravation.
How do you know you're going to another level? When you can flip the stuff that irritates and aggravates you. I want to preach to some people in this room and online: Sometimes your irritation is a prophetic sign of your elevation.
Some of you need to shout right now. Not because God has been elevating you, but because He's been irritating you. Life's been irritating you. Do you have some people who can say, "When I go to work, I'm irritated. When I go home, I'm irritated. When I look at my bank account, I'm irritated"? Don't be frustrated over the irritation. Say, "God, I'm ready for this elevation."
I dare you to give God a praise in advance for the irritation right now that's setting you up for your elevation.
Irritation is sometimes a prophetic indication of elevation. Instead of just crying, let me submit and suggest to you something from Paul, the talented tent maker from Tarsus.
Paul gives us a code on how to unlock destiny. Paul says because of the surpassing greatness of the revelation given to me, some sand—a thorn in my flesh. He said, "I kept asking God to take it out, but like a pearl, I realized I could use this."
I don't know who I'm preaching to tonight, but instead of asking God to get rid of it, you ought to jump up and shout, "I can use this." It may not feel good, but I can use this. I may cry at night, but I can use this. I may want to run away, but I can use it. I had some long days, but I can use this.
You ought to grab your neighbor and shake them and say: "Everything that's driving you crazy, use it. The boss that's driving you crazy, use it. The ex that's trying to make you run, use it." The irritation you're experiencing—use it. Because what God is doing through that irritation is setting you up for elevation.
Paul asked God three times, "Remove it." God said, "Use it." Paul then pivots and says, "Your grace is sufficient. I got enough." In other words, when I was praying for you to remove it, you gave me the grace to use it.
It's some stuff you've been asking God to get out of your life that He said, "No, you're graced for this." Some of the frustration and pain you've been carrying—look at your neighbor and say, "I'm graced for this."
Don't give it to dogs. Don't give it to swine. I want to give you six types of people you can't pick.
Projects are those you should be building with, but you have to build up. Has anybody in the room been in a partnership with someone that should have been building with you, but you had to invest your energy and efforts building them up instead?
I'm speaking that God is sending iron into your life because the Bible says iron sharpens iron. You won't be settling for plastic people. God sent me some people that I don't have to build up, but I can start building with.
However, sometimes certain people may be projects in our life, but not projects in other people's life. We may be toxic with enabling other people. Our behavior and our dysfunction from the past may be enabling people to depend on us because we might need to be needed.
Sometimes the pick who you chose is actually blocking the pick. This is something we're going to have to pray about in this season.
Our church is growing at such a pace that if we're not careful, old ushers won't like new ushers. Old media won't like new media. Old singers won't like new singers. Old band won't like new band. Old leaders won't like new leaders. A toxic mindset will always crave for what was. An unquenching desire to recapture what was means you only have an appetite for the past.
God prepares a buffet called future and He calls an appetizer called present. But you're sitting at the table prepared for you thinking about the microwave dinner you used to have.
I'm not who I was. I'm not who I was. This church ain't what it was. And that's good.
I realize that no matter how hard I pray, some seasons of life will never be that again. Do I resent my kids because they're evolving? This is why when people leave our staff, when people leave our church, I'm trying to create a culture where we celebrate people who do stuff right. Disagreements and destiny shouldn't be grounds for dismissal. Just because we ain't getting along or you've grown, I shouldn't penalize you for growth and you shouldn't penalize me either.
When people leave our church, we should say, "This person was good to us. I love her. I love him. They were a blessing. Let's make sure we throw a party. Let's celebrate."
I like preaching in balance. I was a project. Yeah. And you were a project too. Somebody's going to be called to assemble you. The problem is sometimes we fall in love with our assignments.
Often times in messages like this, we listen from the posture of who else this can help and not how this can help us.
Parasites are those who only make withdrawals but no deposits. Churches are dying right now, not because of a lack of anointing, but because of a lack of deposits. And I'm not just talking about financial.
The people in the pews are becoming mirage members. What's a mirage member? It's like in the desert. You're thirsty and you see a need and you see someone from a distance and they look real until you go and try to pull something from them. There's nothing there. You realize that was just a mirage.
Parasites are people who make withdrawals but no deposits.
All deposits aren't created equal. Young couples do stuff like "my money your money." If you're scared they gonna blow your money, you shouldn't have picked them. So here you are now because you rushed to pick, trying to police it. No, this is our money. Let's sit down and talk.
Until they do something crazy, it's ours. If you know you ain't good with it, don't try to be a boss. I'm the head of the house. Be the head. Just don't be over the money.
I want to make this very clear: I'm the head of the house. But I want to make sure you handle the money and I'm going be overseeing how you handle the money—no, that's not how it works. Being unequally yoked is putting a rope around my neck and a rope around their neck. That's not just in marriage. That's in relationships. That's in business partnerships.
If me and my brother ain't equally yoked, and him and my wife are running this big thing together, if they ain't equally yoked, that's a rope around her neck and a rope around his neck. If he's trying to take the ministry this way and she's trying to take it that way, either he's going to choke the life out of her or she's going to choke the life out of him.
Sometimes your relationships and business partnerships are having trouble breathing because the God in you is running from the demon in them or the destiny in you is calling you in a new direction. If we ain't careful, we're going to make all separations demonic.
Yesterday, my pastor Hollis shot me a text. He had a jam-packed service last night in Nashville. I'm so proud of him and everybody who's there. As soon as I got out of my rehearsals, I was watching the stream. I stepped out of rehearsal, FaceTimed, and prayed with him before he got in the car. I said, "You got this. You got this." He was so excited about it. Him being in Nashville is a good thing.
God was calling him to something. And if I was selfish and wanted to keep him next to me, we would have eventually fallen out—not because of disrespect, but because the destiny in me was going this way, but God was pulling him.
So, I set him down three and a half years ago. When the pandemic happened, we made a pact. I said, "Don't sugarcoat it. Be honest. What you want to do?" He looked at me and said, "I want to do what you doing. When I see you do that, I come alive. I want to do what you doing." I said, "Okay. How long can I count on you?" He said, "Three years." I said, "For three years, give me everything you got."
Three years came, now we're seeing to it. He walks in destiny. That's partnership. It's not lordship. That's autonomously his church. He's the pastor of one city. So to see him in destiny, that's rich. All the deposits he's made weren't always equal, but a deposit is still a deposit.
I'm trying to free your mind. If we ain't careful, especially in the African-American context, we think people have to be eternal. Just because you're not in my presence don't mean you left my heart. There is a great coming back happening. Whether we like it or not, there are certain places and certain people in our lives who are destiny keys for us.
Pretenders are those with great potential but are committed to bad patterns. They have great potential, but are committed to bad patterns. They're committed to showing others what they want to see, but they're not committed on becoming who they need to be.
You can't fix a pattern. You fix problems. You have to break a pattern. We can confuse problems with patterns. Sometimes we may be in toxic cycles because we're connected to toxic people.
There's a word that makes me sick to my stomach: "Church hurt." Church hurt makes me sick to my stomach because it was created demonically and used as a weapon of mass distraction.
Whoever went out one night and had a good time, met somebody and it didn't work out—do you say you got club hurt? Who's never gone to a restaurant, paid good money, and the food was nasty, and the person was mean? Do you have Papa Do hurt?
I got Burger King hurt. How many times have you gone to McDonald's and the milkshake machine didn't work and the ice cream machine didn't work, yet you still pull up asking, "Does the machine work?" How many times you don't went to Popeyes and they ain't have no ticket? Are you grieving because you got Popeyes hurt?
But you got in some stuff you shouldn't have been in and a circle you shouldn't have been with at a place that was only meant to help you. And now you want to say it's the place. But if it keeps happening at every place, it may be you.
We make everything a soul tie now. Well, you know, we was friends, but I can't get on my friend because that's a friend tie-in. Here's another word we use wrong a lot of times: "Triggered." Well, I'm triggered. You triggered me. No, no.
What I'm discovering in this season of our life is God is calling us to work on us. I made some mistakes. I know that I'm wrong. I'm trying to do better.
Before you leave here and you say, "You know what, I got to cut you out cuz you're a project"—stop and say, "Am I a project?" That's heavy. That's heavy. I lost some good members in the past because they found me when I was favored but still a project.
Pastors don't talk like that. I didn't know who I was as a man, a father, husband, let alone a pastor. I'm 28, 29, 30 and gifted. So I could preach, but I was still a project. The only way I knew how to get stuff right was to fuss. I was crazy. When I say anal, anal. Church starts at 9:00 a.m. I'm there at 6. The first person there. Staff probably drove them crazy.
But you're the answer. You're the answer. And what I'm trying to get you to realize is before you leave here, baby girl, my man, before you leave here and you say, you know what, I got to cut you out cuz you're a project—stop and say, am I a project? That's heavy. That's heavy.
I'm the problem. I'm the problem. I lost some good members in the past because they found me when I was favored but still a project. I didn't know who I was as a man, a father, husband, let alone a pastor. I'm 28, 29, 30 and gifted. So I could preach, but I was still a project. The only way I knew how to get stuff right was to fuss. I was crazy. When I say anal, anal. Church starts at 9:00 a.m. I'm there at 6. The first person there. Everybody get to the church. Staff probably drove them crazy.
I would wake up in the middle of the night. Get to the church. Something hit my spirit at midnight. Whole staff got to get up and come to the church at midnight. "Here's what God told me. We going to add a service. All right. I see y'all tomorrow." And it was crazy, but my method may have been somewhat wrong, but I believe God knew my motus operandi. He knowing my spirit—He a little rough around the edges.
My method may have been harsh, but my heart was in the right place. I'm always used me as the villain. I was a project.
Number two: parasites. There have been seasons where I've been a parasite. See, parasite ain't always intentional. You can be so passionate you don't even realize all you're doing is taking withdrawals.
"Praise team. I love y'all. I love y'all. Do me a favor. Here's what I need from y'all. I need y'all to get to church at 8. I need y'all to sing at 8. I'm going to put y'all on the bus. Go east side. Go sing at 9:00. Get back on the bus. Go downtown. Sing at 10:30. Leave 10:30. Come back to Farsdale. Sing at 12:30. Then Tuesday, I need you to sing at 12:00 noon. I need you to sing at 7 p.m. Then I need you to use your own gas to drive all the way to Tuscaloosa on Wednesday. Then come back to church on Thursday. AND IF YOU DON'T do it, you ain't committed." That was kind of parasitic when I look back at it.
You know, sadly, we didn't have no money for real. No real resources. Contrary to popular belief, we ain't have nothing. 80% of the church was being financed by whatever we could just find. If I could do it the way I wanted to, each one of them would have had sort of like a little green card from Regions. I tried to do it. Regions had got me these little green cards where I could just give everybody gas cards and I was going to every week put gas money on the phone. Only problem was after the first week, the devil is I ain't have no money for all that.
I used to try to do breakfast. I used to do breakfast before church. Today was late one day. Cut that out the budget. I ain't got no breakfast money.
So I'm trying to get you to see: in every season of your life, you may somewhat be parasitic. If you the friend who always share your problems in the moment they want to talk and you got to go now—parasitic.
Number three: pretenders. Pretenders are those with great potential but also committed to bad patterns. I don't think I've ever in my life been a pretender. I have been a problem, but I'm not a pretender. You know, I do have problematic situations that happen in my life sometimes, but I'm not committed to bad patterns.
Number four: painkillers. Painkillers are those who feel good to your flesh, but kill your faith.
Now, because we've been conditioned—somebody say conditioned. We've been conditioned mentally and spiritually to think every time you hear the word flesh, you think sex. Can we tell the truth? Every time you hear flesh, you think what? Sex.
I want to look at this from a different lens. Some of the greatest painkillers in my life have been people who never touch me, but they made the stuff I shouldn't be doing comfortable. I can cuss around them. Who got that friend? Who know what I'm talking about? I can cuss a little bit around them.
Painkillers can only do two things: make you numb or go to sleep. And there's some painkillers in your life that are not pills but people, and they've been making you sleep on your destiny or make you numb and incapable of being able to connect emotionally with people in your life.
Because sometimes you have to ask yourself with the painkiller: Is this burying the old me or resurrecting the old me?
Painkillers can only do two things. They can either make you numb or they make you go to sleep. And the question you have to ask yourself is: are they burying the old you or resurrecting the old you?
Number five: possessors. Possessive people. Possessive people attempt to use care as control.
They don't love you. They're just using you. "Well, I'm telling you not to do that cuz I care about you." In some instances, that is true. That's why you got to have discernment.
Because sometimes you think they're checking in for support when really they're just keeping surveillance. Some of you don't have a support group. You got a neighborhood watch. They not with you. They just watching you. They not with you. They just watching you.
Stop trying to push possessive people away because God said, "I'll make I'll prepare a table in the presence of your enemies." And sometimes the table isn't prepared yet because you keep pushing away the people that God want to watch you eat.
AND THAT'S SPECIAL because at high-end restaurants, they won't EVEN SIT YOU UNTIL THE WHOLE PARTY SHOWS UP. SO INSTEAD OF RUNNING PEOPLE OUT YOUR LIFE, YOU OUGHT TO LET THEM GET STAY CLOSE ENOUGH CUZ THE TABLE GOD IS ABOUT TO PREPARE FOR YOU. EYES HAVE NOT SEEN, ears have not heard. YOU OUGHT TO SHOUT, I RECEIVE THAT.
Number six: petty people. Petty people create mountains out of my own heels. Instead of helping you overcome, they leave you overwhelmed.
Because here it is: when you're connected to a petty person, they don't infect you with bad thinking, they infect you with small thinking.
Test yourselves to make sure you are solid in the faith. Look at this scripture. Don't drift along taking everything for granted. Give yourself regular checkups. (2 Corinthians 13:5, The Message)
This entire week in DVO energy—don't miss a day. We're going to be breaking down each one of these types that we can't pick. But more importantly, as my father prepares to come, I pray we don't become what we don't need to pick. Cuz if we're not careful, this is heavy right here. Somebody going to be praying to get you out their life.
For many of us that are feeling like we've been dropped along the way cuz we've made some bad picks—several times we've been dropped real hard and we made big dents in the ground. Some of those dents became graves and we felt like we were deep, buried deeply, and we were forgotten and we were lost. But I want you to just hold on a little while longer.
You fell to the ground and you broke the ground. But I got good news for you. God has something great in your destiny. And you can never have a grand opening without first having a groundbreaking. So God allowed you to break the ground because you're on the way to your grand opening. If you know you about to do something grand, can somebody give God praise right there?
