Forgiveness

Opening Prayer

Almighty God, may my spoken word be faithful to your written word and lead us to The Living Word Jesus Christ Our Rock and our salvation.

Introduction: Why Forgiveness Matters

Today we're exploring forgiveness—a topic drawn from the lectionary series on Matthew's gospel. Jesus told a wonderful parable to answer Peter's question about forgiveness, and through it, we'll discover why forgiveness is so important and what unforgiveness does to us.

We live in a broken world. Look around and you'll see divisions in communities, families, and nations. So often these divisions arise because people have harbored bitterness, anger, resentment, and unforgiveness in their hearts, allowing these emotions to destroy relationships.

The Story of Corrie ten Boom

Consider the remarkable story of Corrie ten Boom. She survived Ravensbrook concentration camp where many of her family, including her beloved sister, perished. After World War II, God called her to travel across Germany as an itinerant preacher, speaking about one topic: forgiveness and grace.

She witnessed silent figures entering her meetings—heads down, bodies hunched over, broken by guilt, anger, bitterness, and hate. She observed something profound: only those who grasped the truth of Christ's offer of forgiveness were transformed and freed. Others, she said, often died young. Through her ministry, many came to faith and understood both God's forgiveness for them and their capacity to forgive others.

A Personal Story

In my own family, my grandmother—who passed away about twenty years ago—was very active during World War II. My grandfather went away, heavily involved in D-Day and interrogating captured Germans. He returned a very different man—broken by what he had witnessed. His relationship with my grandmother did not survive; they divorced.

My grandmother never forgave him. Every visit became a rampage of abuse against this man. Sadly, she died a very bitter and angry woman. I'm sure you all have similar stories—people you know, situations you've witnessed—where you can see bitterness and anger destroying lives.

Jesus challenges this directly. In today's passage, He calls us to forgive as we have been forgiven. Into this brokenness, Jesus speaks of the kingdom of God and asks: What would the world look like if we forgave fully?

Peter's Question and Jesus' Answer

Peter asked Jesus: "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?"

In Jewish Pharisaic teaching, forgiveness was limited to three times—like baseball, three strikes and you're out. Peter, trying to be generous, suggested seven times. But Jesus answered: "I tell you not seven times but 77 times."

In other words, there are no limits. Jesus is saying there are no limits to God's forgiveness for you, and no limits to how many times we are called to forgive others, however difficult that may be.

First Point: Foster a Lifestyle of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a choice. It is a decision we make—to forgive a person or an organization. It is an action.

It's also worth noting that forgiveness is a journey. It's not always as simple as saying "I forgive" and moving on. These things go deep within our hearts and can rise up again. We are called to journey with forgiveness, coming before the Lord repeatedly, saying: "Lord, I'm sorry. I forgive that person."

You have no control over what thoughts the person who wronged you is entertaining. But we are called to continue to love. Often our human reaction is to withdraw, to build walls: "If you're going to treat me this way, I'm withdrawing. I won't have anything to do with you ever again." We guard our hearts—but this is not what we're called to do as Christians.

However difficult it may be, we must not build walls around ourselves. The call is to continue being available, loving, and not distancing ourselves. Perhaps others have been listening to voices that were not their own. Perhaps we have been too. But Jesus calls us to forgive without limits and seek reconciliation where possible. We hand our situations over to God.

The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant

Jesus told a wonderful parable—an allegorical story in which we can place ourselves. "The kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants."

• The king represents God, our heavenly Father
• Settling accounts happened when God sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to die for us so that we can be forgiven

A servant who owed the king ten thousand talents (or bags of gold) was brought to him. Since he could not pay, the master ordered that he, his wife, and his children be sold to repay the debt. The servant fell on his knees: "Be patient with me, and I will pay back everything."

Here lies an irony: there was absolutely no way this man could pay back ten thousand talents. It takes a man a whole year to earn one talent. To put it in modern terms, this is roughly 6.75 billion pounds—an impossible debt. No one could repay such a sum.

But the master took pity on him, canceled the debt, and let him go.

This parable paints a picture of the debts of our sin, our wrongdoing, and our brokenness that Jesus paid on the cross. There is no way we could carry that debt. There is no way we could pay it back. It is all about God's mercy and God's love for us that we see in the cross. We cannot pay it back.

What Forgiveness Is and Isn't

Forgiveness is not forgetting. It's not pretending we're not hurt. Forgiveness is choosing not to get bitter, seek revenge, or bear a grudge. Forgiveness is giving that person over to God.

But as the parable continues, this servant could not follow through with the same forgiveness he had received.

When the servant went out, he found a fellow servant who owed him a hundred silver coins—a very payable debt. But instead of forgiving him and canceling the debt, he grabbed him and began to choke him: "Pay back what you owe me!" His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged: "Be patient with me, and I will pay it back." But he refused. Instead, he had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt.

What is Jesus saying? He is saying: Forgive as you have been forgiven. We have been forgiven so much. Let us make sure we forgive the little things in our relationships, families, communities, churches, workplaces, companies, and world.

Joseph's Example

One person who fostered a lifestyle of forgiveness was Joseph. In Genesis, we read the story of the coat of many colors. His brothers beat him half to death and threw him in a pit. When slave traders came by, they thought: "Why not sell him into slavery?" They did. Joseph endured imprisonment and dreadful situations.

Remarkably, Joseph fostered a lifestyle of forgiveness. People saw the godliness in him, saw the anointing on him, and he was promoted again and again—all the way to Pharaoh's right-hand man. Forgiveness allowed Joseph to come into the fullness of his destiny.

Fostering a lifestyle of forgiveness is the call on our lives, just as it was for Joseph.

Second Point: Forgiveness Removes the Power of That Event from Your Life

Consider the Lord's Prayer, which Christians pray most days. It contains these words:

Forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors.

Matthew goes on to say in verse 14:

For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your father will not forgive your sins.

This is strong teaching. It shows us how God sees the importance of forgiveness in our lives—it is paramount. Removing barriers is paramount for us to grow in our faith.

I encourage you today and this week to search your hearts for any unforgiveness toward your brothers and sisters. Come before God and foster a lifestyle of forgiveness. Remove the power of events and people from your life.

Forgiveness is very much about releasing a debt. Jesus spoke in terms of debts in the parable and in the Lord's Prayer. Some people hold onto unforgiveness with a strange mentality: "If I forgive that person, it's almost as though justice hasn't been done. But if I don't forgive them, somehow they'll receive payback."

But this thinking is utterly bizarre. The only person it will hurt is you. We must release these people to God. The only way you'll be free of the person who has wronged you is to release the debt.

Forgiveness removes the power of that event from your life.

Third Point: There Are Consequences of Unforgiveness

In verse 34 of the parable, Jesus tells us that in his anger, the master handed the servant over to the jailers to be tortured.

While parables sometimes fall short, here's what's happening: If we choose not to forgive someone, we carry that sin, and God ultimately hands us over because of the sin we're carrying. This is what happens with unforgiveness—God says, "Okay, I hand you over," and what results is torture.

I've had many conversations with people who have harbored unforgiveness, and it's like a torture to them. They live in pain, anger, and discomfort. They often can't sleep. Bitterness and anger literally seep into their bones.

The relationship between healing and forgiveness is so, so strong. There are story after story where people who chose to forgive were then prayed for, and their back was healed, their neck pain disappeared. Unforgiveness prevents people from receiving the fullness of what God has for them.

Our Prayer Ministry team is often very good at discerning unforgiveness and gently leading people to forgive, and then praying for healing. And they are healed. This link is so important.

Joseph knew the importance of forgiveness. After forgiving all his brothers, he could safely say: "What you meant for harm, God meant for good."

Breaking Down Strongholds

If you keep coming back to an event that happened in your life and can't seem to let it go, it's a stronghold. You must replace that stronghold of bitterness with an opposite stronghold of compassion.

First, say out loud before God: "I choose to forgive this person." Then go on that journey of forgiving—again and again and again—and allow this stronghold of bitterness to be replaced with a stronghold of compassion.

Change your core belief system to a Christian thinking system. Allow God to do His work in you. He will help you. He will journey through with you.

Conclusion

• Foster a lifestyle of forgiveness.
• Forgiveness removes the power of that event from your life.
• Remember that there are consequences of unforgiveness.

Work with God in dealing with any unforgiveness in your hearts. This is a difficult passage, a difficult topic—but one we all wrestle with. We are not alone. God is with us.

Closing Prayer

Lord Jesus Christ, we thank you that you have forgiven us. Help us to forgive others. We lift before you all those people and organizations that we are holding unforgiveness toward, and we choose to release them to you.

Help us on our journey of forgiveness. By your mighty power, break down strongholds of bitterness and replace them with strongholds of compassion. Set us free to live life in its fullness.

In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.