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Everything's Fine Series - Steps 4 & 5
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Connected by scripture or shared themes.
Everything's Fine Series - Steps 4 & 5
Continue exploring
Connected by scripture or shared themes.
There's a fundamental difference between cleaning and straightening. When we have guests coming over, we frantically "clean" the house—but really, we're just straightening it. We shove dirty clothes into closets, hide things under the bed, and make everything look presentable while the real junk stays hidden.
We do the same thing in our lives. We're very good at straightening our lives while keeping the real brokenness hidden away. We present an appearance that everything is fine, everything is good, when underneath there's genuine junk we don't want anyone to see. We want the world to believe the dumpster fire is actually fine—nothing wrong here.
Step 4 is a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. It's about inspection—honestly asking: What areas of my life need to change? Where am I not okay? Where have I hidden things away?
Step 5 is admitting to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. In biblical terms, this is confession.
Here's the challenge: confession is not natural. When we sin, our first instinct isn't to confess—it's to hide. This pattern began in the very first sin.
In Genesis 3, we see how sin entered the world, and with it, the human pattern of hiding.
First, Eve saw that the fruit was good for food, delightful to the eyes, and desirable for wisdom. Sin is enticing—if it wasn't, nobody would do it. We tell ourselves lies: It's good for me. It's a problem for others, but not for me.
Consider how we justify things. During Colorado's burn ban on July 4th, despite the fire danger across the state, thousands of people set off fireworks anyway. Collectively, we agreed it was dangerous, but individually? "It'll be fine for me. Nobody else should do it, but I'm going to be okay."
That's exactly what we do with sin.
They hide. After eating the forbidden fruit, Adam and Eve heard God walking in the garden and hid themselves from His presence. They ran away instead of confessing.
They cover. They sewed fig leaves together to cover their shame—the feeling of being unworthy of relationship. Shame hinders our relationships with others and with God. We say, "I'm unworthy because of this sin, so I'll cover it up."
They blame. Adam said, "It's the woman's fault—why did you give her to me?" Eve said, "The serpent deceived me." Instead of taking responsibility, they shift blame to someone else.
We do all three things today.
God asked Adam and Eve, "Where are you?" Now, God is omniscient—He already knew exactly where they were. The first game of hide-and-seek was between Adam, Eve, and God, and God knew their location the entire time.
But God wasn't asking for Himself. He was asking for them. He wanted them to ask themselves: Where are you in your life? What junk are you hiding under the bed? What have you shoved into the closet that you don't want anyone to see?
That same question echoes to us today: Where are you?
Psalm 32:1-4 paints a powerful picture:
Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man against whom the Lord counts no iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit. For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me.
The psalmist contrasts the blessed person—one who has found forgiveness—with the person hiding sin. When he kept silent about his sin, his bones wasted away. His strength dried up.
Hidden sin feels safe, but it is deeply destructive. We tell ourselves: "Nobody knows. It's just me. I've got this." But that's a lie.
Hidden sin never stays private. Even if no one else in the world knows, it still affects you. And because it affects you, it affects everyone around you—your anxiety, your anger, your defensiveness, your relationships, your prayer life. You create distance between yourself and God, not because He withdraws, but because you do.
We think hidden sin is contained to us alone, but it overflows into the lives of those around us. If you struggle with anger because of hidden shame, that anger affects every relationship. Your family experiences the consequences even if they don't know the source.
Step 4 is self-reflection—conducting a fearless moral inventory. It's asking hard questions about what's really going on beneath the surface.
The Psalmist prays in Psalm 139:23:
Search me, O God, and know my heart. Try me and know my thoughts and see if there may be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
We all struggle with sin. This isn't about comparing addictions or thinking "I'm not as bad as they are." Biblically, sanctification is a lifelong process. We're always pursuing holiness, always asking God to reveal the sin we can't even see in ourselves—whether it's pride, gossip, or anger.
What am I resentful about? Resentment is often the number one driver of addiction. You've experienced pain, hurt, or sorrow, and that resentment is pushing you toward sin. It might not be your fault that painful things happened to you, but it is your responsibility to address them. Holding onto resentment doesn't hurt the person who wronged you—it hurts you.
What am I afraid of? If we're going to trust God, we have to identify our fears and lay them at His feet. Where are we holding back? What fears are we refusing to surrender?
Where have I been dishonest? The person we deceive most is ourselves. Self-deception is powerful. We convince ourselves: "It's not a problem. I can quit anytime." But can we?
Who have I harmed? Our addictions and sins overflow to affect others—especially our children, who pick up these patterns as normal behavior.
When we do this inventory, we bring our sin, our resentments, our fears, and our wounds into the presence of God truthfully. Why? Because confession breaks the power of secrecy.
We often think of confession as punishment. But listen to James 5:16:
Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another that you may be healed.
James doesn't say confess so you might be punished. He doesn't say confess so you might feel ashamed. He says confess so that you might be healed. God offers confession as a pathway to healing, not as punishment.
Now, this doesn't mean broadcasting your sin to everyone on social media. But it does mean that someone godly needs to know. Why? Accountability is the best way to fight sin. If you're struggling with something right now, don't just confess to God—identify who you'll tell. Who is the person you'll bring the darkness into the light with and say, "This is what I've been struggling with"?
Maybe it's so hidden nobody knows. Maybe you keep it like dirty laundry under the bed or in the closet. But you know it's destructive and wreaking havoc on your soul and relationships. The path to freedom starts with confession.
1 John 1:5-9 gives us the foundation:
God is light and in him is no darkness at all... If we walk in the light as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his son cleanses us from all sin... If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
The hope of the gospel is not that you're strong enough to defeat your sin. The hope is that the blood of Jesus cleanses us from all sin.
We don't confess because we're worried about consequences or what others will think. We confess because it's the path to healing and redemption.
Tim Keller captured this beautifully:
We are more sinful and flawed in ourselves than we ever dared believe. Yet, at the very same time, we are more loved and accepted in Jesus Christ than we ever dared hope.
Our culture says, "You're fine. Everything's fine. Just be you." But the gospel says something different: You are broken. By yourself, you cannot reach God. You are in need of a Savior.
You might be a far worse person than you think. That's the bad news. But God loves you far more than you could ever comprehend. And His invitation is this: Stop hiding. Bring the junk into the light. Confess. Find freedom.
Your hidden sin might stay hidden for a really long time. Maybe nobody else will ever know. But here's the truth: It is destroying you from the inside out. God, as a loving Father, wants you to walk in freedom—free from all that junk.
Confession is hard. Confession is challenging. Confession can be painful. But confession is healing. It is a gift from God.
If you have an addiction, a struggle, something you've kept so hidden that nobody else knows—today can be the day you bring it to the light. Today can be the day you find healing, redemption, and freedom in confession.
There's a fundamental difference between cleaning and straightening. When we have guests coming over, we frantically "clean" the house—but really, we're just straightening it. We shove dirty clothes into closets, hide things under the bed, and make everything look presentable while the real junk stays hidden.
We do the same thing in our lives. We're very good at straightening our lives while keeping the real brokenness hidden away. We present an appearance that everything is fine, everything is good, when underneath there's genuine junk we don't want anyone to see. We want the world to believe the dumpster fire is actually fine—nothing wrong here.
Step 4 is a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. It's about inspection—honestly asking: What areas of my life need to change? Where am I not okay? Where have I hidden things away?
Step 5 is admitting to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. In biblical terms, this is confession.
Here's the challenge: confession is not natural. When we sin, our first instinct isn't to confess—it's to hide. This pattern began in the very first sin.
In Genesis 3, we see how sin entered the world, and with it, the human pattern of hiding.
First, Eve saw that the fruit was good for food, delightful to the eyes, and desirable for wisdom. Sin is enticing—if it wasn't, nobody would do it. We tell ourselves lies: It's good for me. It's a problem for others, but not for me.
Consider how we justify things. During Colorado's burn ban on July 4th, despite the fire danger across the state, thousands of people set off fireworks anyway. Collectively, we agreed it was dangerous, but individually? "It'll be fine for me. Nobody else should do it, but I'm going to be okay."
That's exactly what we do with sin.
They hide. After eating the forbidden fruit, Adam and Eve heard God walking in the garden and hid themselves from His presence. They ran away instead of confessing.
They cover. They sewed fig leaves together to cover their shame—the feeling of being unworthy of relationship. Shame hinders our relationships with others and with God. We say, "I'm unworthy because of this sin, so I'll cover it up."
They blame. Adam said, "It's the woman's fault—why did you give her to me?" Eve said, "The serpent deceived me." Instead of taking responsibility, they shift blame to someone else.
We do all three things today.
God asked Adam and Eve, "Where are you?" Now, God is omniscient—He already knew exactly where they were. The first game of hide-and-seek was between Adam, Eve, and God, and God knew their location the entire time.
But God wasn't asking for Himself. He was asking for them. He wanted them to ask themselves: Where are you in your life? What junk are you hiding under the bed? What have you shoved into the closet that you don't want anyone to see?
That same question echoes to us today: Where are you?
Psalm 32:1-4 paints a powerful picture:
Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man against whom the Lord counts no iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit. For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me.
The psalmist contrasts the blessed person—one who has found forgiveness—with the person hiding sin. When he kept silent about his sin, his bones wasted away. His strength dried up.
Hidden sin feels safe, but it is deeply destructive. We tell ourselves: "Nobody knows. It's just me. I've got this." But that's a lie.
Hidden sin never stays private. Even if no one else in the world knows, it still affects you. And because it affects you, it affects everyone around you—your anxiety, your anger, your defensiveness, your relationships, your prayer life. You create distance between yourself and God, not because He withdraws, but because you do.
We think hidden sin is contained to us alone, but it overflows into the lives of those around us. If you struggle with anger because of hidden shame, that anger affects every relationship. Your family experiences the consequences even if they don't know the source.
Step 4 is self-reflection—conducting a fearless moral inventory. It's asking hard questions about what's really going on beneath the surface.
The Psalmist prays in Psalm 139:23:
Search me, O God, and know my heart. Try me and know my thoughts and see if there may be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
We all struggle with sin. This isn't about comparing addictions or thinking "I'm not as bad as they are." Biblically, sanctification is a lifelong process. We're always pursuing holiness, always asking God to reveal the sin we can't even see in ourselves—whether it's pride, gossip, or anger.
What am I resentful about? Resentment is often the number one driver of addiction. You've experienced pain, hurt, or sorrow, and that resentment is pushing you toward sin. It might not be your fault that painful things happened to you, but it is your responsibility to address them. Holding onto resentment doesn't hurt the person who wronged you—it hurts you.
What am I afraid of? If we're going to trust God, we have to identify our fears and lay them at His feet. Where are we holding back? What fears are we refusing to surrender?
Where have I been dishonest? The person we deceive most is ourselves. Self-deception is powerful. We convince ourselves: "It's not a problem. I can quit anytime." But can we?
Who have I harmed? Our addictions and sins overflow to affect others—especially our children, who pick up these patterns as normal behavior.
When we do this inventory, we bring our sin, our resentments, our fears, and our wounds into the presence of God truthfully. Why? Because confession breaks the power of secrecy.
We often think of confession as punishment. But listen to James 5:16:
Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another that you may be healed.
James doesn't say confess so you might be punished. He doesn't say confess so you might feel ashamed. He says confess so that you might be healed. God offers confession as a pathway to healing, not as punishment.
Now, this doesn't mean broadcasting your sin to everyone on social media. But it does mean that someone godly needs to know. Why? Accountability is the best way to fight sin. If you're struggling with something right now, don't just confess to God—identify who you'll tell. Who is the person you'll bring the darkness into the light with and say, "This is what I've been struggling with"?
Maybe it's so hidden nobody knows. Maybe you keep it like dirty laundry under the bed or in the closet. But you know it's destructive and wreaking havoc on your soul and relationships. The path to freedom starts with confession.
1 John 1:5-9 gives us the foundation:
God is light and in him is no darkness at all... If we walk in the light as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his son cleanses us from all sin... If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
The hope of the gospel is not that you're strong enough to defeat your sin. The hope is that the blood of Jesus cleanses us from all sin.
We don't confess because we're worried about consequences or what others will think. We confess because it's the path to healing and redemption.
Tim Keller captured this beautifully:
We are more sinful and flawed in ourselves than we ever dared believe. Yet, at the very same time, we are more loved and accepted in Jesus Christ than we ever dared hope.
Our culture says, "You're fine. Everything's fine. Just be you." But the gospel says something different: You are broken. By yourself, you cannot reach God. You are in need of a Savior.
You might be a far worse person than you think. That's the bad news. But God loves you far more than you could ever comprehend. And His invitation is this: Stop hiding. Bring the junk into the light. Confess. Find freedom.
Your hidden sin might stay hidden for a really long time. Maybe nobody else will ever know. But here's the truth: It is destroying you from the inside out. God, as a loving Father, wants you to walk in freedom—free from all that junk.
Confession is hard. Confession is challenging. Confession can be painful. But confession is healing. It is a gift from God.
If you have an addiction, a struggle, something you've kept so hidden that nobody else knows—today can be the day you bring it to the light. Today can be the day you find healing, redemption, and freedom in confession.
