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The Ten Commandments Series
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Connected by scripture or shared themes.
The Ten Commandments Series
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Connected by scripture or shared themes.
Our focus today comes from Exodus 20:12, which states: "Honor thy mother and thy father that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee." We'll also be exploring the sixth commandment, "Thou shalt not kill," from Exodus 20:13.
Honor has always been a significant concept. Throughout history, many people have been honored for their achievements and contributions to humanity. Let me share a few examples.
Nelson Mandela received the Nobel Peace Prize for his instrumental role in ending apartheid in South Africa. His government focused on dismantling the legacy of institutionalized racism, and for this work, he was honored with one of the world's highest awards.
Martin Luther King Jr., an American civil rights activist, became the youngest recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize at just 35 years old. He was honored for his nonviolent resistance movement against racial discrimination.
Sir David Attenborough is the only person to be knighted twice—first by Queen Elizabeth in 1985, and then in 2022 by King Charles, when he was promoted to Knight Grand Cross for his services to broadcasting and conservation. Through his remarkable insight into insects, sea creatures, and wildlife, he has given the world invaluable knowledge.
But God also honors people. Abraham is called the father of our faith. Why? Because the Bible says he believed God, and it was counted to him for righteousness. He believed that through his seed, Jesus Christ would come and redeem the world. He didn't know it would be Jesus by that name, but he believed that through his descendants, one would come to remove sin. Because of his faith, righteousness was credited to him.
Moses was honored by God in a unique way. The Bible tells us that Moses spent so much time in the presence of God that his face began to glow. When he came down from the mountain, people saw his face radiating God's glory—not from any earthly cream, but from intimate communion with the Almighty.
David was called a man after God's own heart. From childhood, he loved God more than anything. David was a king who did not fall into idolatry. The Bible uses David as the standard for other kings: "This king did not do like his father David did" or "That king followed in the ways of David." Yes, David sinned, but when he did, he repented from his heart. Because of his character, he earned the title of a man after God's own heart.
But when we look at Scripture, God says something particularly important: honor should be given to parents. In fact, this command is so critical that it is included in the Ten Commandments. Exodus 20:12 states: "Honor thy mother and father, that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee."
Honor reflects God's relational order. God has placed high importance on family structure and respect within the household. With God, there is always order. Where there is no structure, there is chaos, havoc, and disorder—and God is not like that.
When Paul the Apostle reproved the church in Corinth, he was correcting them for disorder. They were filled with the Holy Spirit and had the gifts of the Holy Spirit, yet six people would stand up and pray in tongues, then another six would attempt to interpret—creating chaos and noise. Paul had to establish order: "Let one person speak in tongues, then one person interpret. Then sit down and let another speak." 1 Corinthians 14:33 says: "For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace."
When you have order, you have peace. I see this in my own workshop—when tools are scattered everywhere, I cannot find what I need, and it brings frustration rather than peace. But when everything is in its place, there is peace.
This is God's design for every church. You can have the Holy Spirit moving in great and powerful ways, and there will still be order, because God is a God of order. Look at the pastoral epistles—1 and 2 Thessalonians, 1 and 2 Timothy—they show how to establish a church with structure. There are elders, deacons, and a governmental system. Even in heaven, there is order: archangels, seraphim, cherubim, ranks, principalities, and powers. There is always structure in God's kingdom.
God gives specific instruction for Christian households. He doesn't leave us to figure it out on our own; He shows us how to establish order.
Colossians 3:18-20 says: "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as is fit in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and be not bitter against them. Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing unto the Lord."
Honoring parents is seen as a reflection of honoring God. When you honor your parents, it demonstrates that you honor God. Parents are considered representatives of God's authority, and God fully endorses parental authority.
Ephesians 6:1 states: "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right." It's the right thing to do. Even those who aren't Christian know instinctively that it's right to obey your parents. When children don't do this, it's abnormal—an anomaly, something strange and distasteful to see.
Colossians 3:20 reinforces this: "Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord." Well pleasing—this phrase suggests that some things please God more than others. If you knew something was well pleasing to the Lord, wouldn't you do it?
1 Thessalonians 4:1 says: "Ye ought to walk and to please God so that you would abound more and more." As you walk in the things of God and please Him by keeping His commandments, you grow and abound increasingly.
Now, this teaching assumes something important: obedience to God's command shows that God is leading you, not your passions. If you honor God and your mother and father, it demonstrates you are being led by God's Word and not by your emotions—because it's not always that you want to honor your parents.
Some parents are difficult. Some are terrible parents—despicable, frankly. Some have done things so horrible they deserve to be imprisoned. I've read the news. But here's what the Bible says: You do not repay evil for evil.
Sometimes it's genuinely hard to honor a mother or father because they have not been much of a parent to you. Maybe your dad was an alcoholic. Maybe you've been abused. There are so many painful circumstances. And it's easy for me to say, "Honor your mother and father," because I have good parents. But some of you haven't had good parents, and some of you find it very difficult. Some of you are bitter because of what your parents have done.
Don't let your bitterness rob you of what God has for you. The Bible says in 1 Peter 3:9: "Not to render evil for evil." Some things have to be given to God. Some things you cannot handle in your own strength, but God says: Do not render evil for evil. Stay right before God. Bring these hurts to God and let Him heal the wounds your parents may have caused.
Keep your light on. God is the righteous judge.
Whatever you do, don't badmouth your parents. You may not have great things to say about them. You may not be able to talk about them with pride. But don't speak evil of them. And if they need a drink, give them a drink. If they need financial help, help them. You're doing it because God says so, not because your feelings dictate it.
If we merely followed our feelings, we could justify anything. Yet the Bible commands us to love our enemies and treat well those who despise us. You wouldn't do that naturally. But if you're following God, you do—because it allows God to love through you. It allows Jesus to minister to that person. Otherwise, how else would they see Jesus Christ unless you go beyond yourself and let the Holy Spirit move through you? You are His hands and His feet. You're the only way He can reach them.
So what does it actually mean to honor? The Hebrew word is kabed, and it means weight or heaviness. The idea is that someone carries significant importance—they are weighty, important, and worthy of honor.
It's like saying at work, "See that woman over there? She's a heavy hitter in the legal department." Your colleague understands: she carries weight; what she does makes a difference. Or a director makes a weighted decision—a decision of great importance.
Think of the Queen. She carried weight—not physical weight, but significance. If the Queen visited your house, you'd be amazed and excited. Why? Because of her presence, her background, all that she embodied. That is what kabed means.
When Scripture commands you to honor your mother and father, it uses the verb kabed—to treat them as significant. Significant means important, notable, big enough to be noticed, big enough to matter or make a change.
The word kabed encompasses dignity—the Hebrew concept of inherent value and worth, the quality of being worthy of esteem and respect. Your parents are the ones who raised you. They provided for you. They put food on your table, clothes on your back. They taught you. Your parents are significant, and therefore you give them the weight and respect appropriate for their role.
Yet not everyone has the same idea of what respect looks like. Sometimes I hear my neighbors talking to their mother, and I think, "Surely they're not speaking to their mother like that!" I hear them cursing and swearing, and I wonder if perhaps friends are around. But then I realize it's just them and their mother. And I think, Wow. Yet they'd probably say they respect their mother. So let me show you what honor looks like in practice.
1. Respecting Their Independence and Allowing Choices
You might have elderly parents—older now, perhaps not as quick as they used to be. But they still need respect. Sometimes when parents age, we can lose respect for them simply because they're slower. That is a big mistake, especially in God's eyes.
Let them make their own choices and decisions in daily life whenever they can. Don't make all their decisions for them. Involve them. If they're able to do something safely on their own, let them do it. Avoid taking over tasks they can still manage. I know my mom—you ask her how to do something, and she'll say, "I can do it. Leave me alone." Sometimes she's a little slow, and I think, "Come on, Mom!" But you've got to let them do it. That's respect and honor.
Ask them for their input on matters affecting their lives instead of assuming. If you're buying a bed for your mother with a choice between a yellow or blue headboard, don't decide for her. Ask her. Maybe she wants blue. If you choose yellow because you think it matches the color scheme better, that's not honor.
2. Listen Actively
Give them your full attention when they speak. Don't cut them off. Sometimes when talking to our parents, we're not even giving them our full attention—we're scrolling on our phone while they're talking, not even looking at them. That's disrespectful. Give them your attention. Show them they are significant and important.
3. Watch Your Tone
Speak calmly and avoid harsh words, shouting, or sarcasm. Sometimes we get so familiar with our parents that we shout without realizing it. Or we're sarcastic, which is rude. I've seen this many times. You have to be careful of how you speak to your parents.
4. Value Their Wisdom
Acknowledge their life experience and perspective. Your parents have lived the life. They've been where you are. If you're younger—a teenager, in your twenties—they've lived all those years. Yes, you're in a different generation, but they've lived those years and made mistakes and learned from them. They have wisdom to offer.
Always listen to them. You may not want to implement everything they suggest, but listen and take note. It will help you in later years. Proverbs 1:8-9 says: "My son, hear the instruction of thy father and forsake not the law of thy mother, for they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head and chains about thy neck."
This means that in later years, you'll stand tall and walk with a sense of pride. When you go for your first job interview, your father may have told you: "Put a tie on. Make sure you're there on time. Tuck your shirt in." Because of that, you might get the job, and you'll think, "I'm so glad my dad said that." Or your mother might teach you to tidy your bed and room, bringing order to your life. Listen to your parents. Don't think you know it all, because you don't.
This wisdom comes from Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, to whom God gave the gift of wisdom.
Honoring your parents is the foundation of a stable and godly society. It reflects our respect for God's ordained authority structures. In a culture that often devalues parental authority, Christians are called to uphold this command as a testimony to God's design.
When children don't honor their parents, we have a harsher, colder, and more uncaring society. If they don't honor their parents at home, how will they treat people outside the home? Not much better, in general.
You can always tell when a person has been raised well. They're good with people around them. They're polite. They have good manners. They're helpful. When people meet children like that, they say, "Your parents have raised you well." You can see the honor reflected in them.
Look at the book of Kings. Israel was split into the southern and northern kingdoms. The northern kingdom had no good kings—they were all terrible. Yet the text always records: "This was King so-and-so, and his mother was this." You never hear of the mother again, but they always tell you who she was. If the king was bad, it's a reflection on the mother. There's usually a father too, though we may not know as much about him, but it's always mentioned. If there was a good king, his mother's name reflects well on him.
We are called to be salt and light in this world, an example of how things should be in society. We're the ones who show society how things should be because we uphold God's family structure.
What are the blessings of honoring your mother and father? This commandment is the only one of the Ten Commandments with a promise. That's how important God thinks it is. It's the only one that carries promises with it.
Ephesians 6:2 says: "Honor thy mother and father, which is the first commandment with promise, that it might be well with you." God wants it to be well with you. He doesn't want your life filled with obstacles, stumbling blocks, difficulty, and hardship. He wants it to be well with you.
Guess what? Honoring your parents opens the door of grace to your life. It doesn't open every door, but it opens a door to favor so that your life can go well, so that the years of your life can be full and blessed. And when you walk, you might make mistakes, but God will turn your mistakes into blessings. Why? Because you honor your mother and father.
Sometimes people wonder why things aren't going right in their lives. Maybe it's because you don't honor your mother and father. Maybe you're sarcastic. Maybe you've neglected them.
I once knew a lady who was 90 years old—sharp as a pencil, sharper than me, a wealth of wisdom. Her daughter was ill and had been to the hospital. Her granddaughter called to tell her grandmother how her mother was doing. In the conversation, she said her mom wanted a sandwich. The granddaughter said, "I'm not buying the sandwich. I've got my own bills to pay. If she gives me the money, I'll buy it."
A sandwich! She wouldn't go out of her way for a sandwich for her ill mother. I thought there was a lack of respect there. Some people wonder why things aren't going right in their lives. Honor your mother and father that your days might be well with you.
Second blessing: That you may live long on the earth. "Honor your mother and father that you might live long on the earth. That you might have length of days, long life, and peace." That's God's best for you. Yes, we were created for eternal life, but while we have these physical bodies, we haven't yet obtained eternal life in them. But God wants you to have length of days, long life, and peace.
God wants you to be effective in this world. You have a ministry, and the longer you live on this earth, the more effective you can be in reaching people. That's what God wants. You were created to live God's type of life—an abundant life. The Greek word is zoe—God's type of life, abundant life. The kingdom of God is in you. Yes, we're in this world, but we carry the kingdom of God within us.
Third blessing: That you might obtain what God has for you. Exodus 20:12 says: "Honor your mother and father that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God gives you."
God has something for you. It might not be physical land, but He has a place for you. There is something waiting for you to step into. Every one of us has a calling. Every one of us has a purpose. Every one of us has something God wants you to step into.
If you don't honor your mother and father, guess what? You can derail the purposes of God in your life. You can derail stepping into all God has for you. And you don't want to do that.
Psalm 31:19 says: "Oh, how great is thy goodness which the Lord has laid up for them that fear thee, which thou has wrought for them that trust in thee before the sons of men. Oh, how great is thy goodness."
1 Corinthians 2:9 says: "But as it is written, I have not seen nor ear heard, neither has it entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for them that love him. It hasn't even entered into your heart. The things that God has prepared for them that love him."
The Bible says, "If you love me, you'll keep my commandments." Jesus Himself said, "If you love me, you keep my commandments." And He has commanded you to honor your mother and father.
Consider Moses. He had no idea—absolutely no idea—what he would end up doing. As far as he was concerned, he was a murderer. He fled Egypt because he killed someone, and he spent 40 years in the wilderness, married, had a family, and was herding sheep. He never knew his face would glow. He had no idea he would deliver Israel from Egyptian tyranny. He never knew he would see God's back. He never knew he would speak to God face to face.
You don't know what God has laid up for you. Why close the door to that by dishonoring your mother and father? Yes, they may not have been great people, but you honor them because God has said to honor them.
Some decisions and some things in Christian life are not easy. That's why we need the grace of God. That's why we need the Holy Spirit to help us. That's why Jesus said, "Wait in the upper room till you be filled with the Holy Spirit." There are things you'll be doing that aren't easy, but the power of God is there to enable you to do what God has called you to do. You have the promises to enable you.
2 Peter 1:4 says: "By these you become partakers of the divine nature by the promises."
You need to honor your parents not because you think they deserve it, but because God asked you to. By doing so, you honor God by keeping His commandments.
Now I'm going to tackle the sixth commandment: Thou shalt not kill. We've all heard of this one before, haven't we? It's quite common. Some of the other commandments aren't as well-known, but everyone knows this one.
The Hebrew word for kill is ratsach, and it means to murder or to slay someone—to kill in a premeditated way, as an avenger or like an assassin. The killing is intentional. It's not accidental, and it's not like manslaughter, which is unintentional killing that happens in the heat of the moment. But murder is something that was intended.
So in the sixth commandment, God is saying: Murder is wrong.
It seems obvious, doesn't it? But beyond God simply saying it's wrong in Exodus 20:13, we find the deeper reason in Genesis 9:6: "Whoever takes a man's life, by man will his life be taken, because God made man in his image."
Murder is wrong not only because God said so, but because man is made in the image of God.
Genesis 5:1 states: "This is the book of the generations of Adam. In the day when God created man, he made him in his image." We are all made in the image of God, which means human life is unique and has unique worth because it reflects something of God's own nature.
Because God is a spirit, we cannot see Him physically. The Bible says, "They that worship God should worship him in spirit and truth." We see God in the image of Jesus Christ, because He is the express image of God the Father. But God Himself is spirit.
So what does it mean to be made in the image of God? There are three things:
First, we have a conscience. We have a sense of right and wrong that helps us judge actions. You know when you've done something wrong. You feel guilty. Even without instruction or law, your conscience tells you something is wrong. The law is written in our hearts. That's what Paul the Apostle was saying.
Equally, if your conscience doesn't trouble you, you can say, "I have a clean conscience. I have done nothing wrong. My conscience is clear. I am guilt-free."
Second, we have reason. We have the ability to reason—the capacity to think logically, draw conclusions from gathered evidence, compare ideas, and make judgments based on facts rather than impulse alone. Because of reason, mankind has reached the moon. We've gathered evidence, made calculations, and achieved what seemed impossible. That power comes from reason.
Third, we have free will. We can make choices genuinely on our own, rather than being completely forced or determined by external influences. You have a choice to come here or not. You have a choice to follow God or not. It's your choice. God never forces you. He presents the better way.
Joshua said, "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." We don't have to serve the Lord. We could serve idols if we wanted. But Joshua chose. You're the same way. God made you so you can make choices and serve Him because you love Him, not because you're forced to.
So we have free moral beings. God won't hold a lion accountable for killing another lion. But He will hold a man responsible for murdering another man. Why? Because we're made in the image of God. All human life has unique worth because it reflects something of God's own nature. Animals aren't held accountable because we are not animals. You're on a higher level than an animal.
Would you get in a plane and see a monkey behind the steering wheel? Some people say, "Monkeys are nearly as intelligent as men." Well, let's put one in a plane and see what happens. The difference is clear.
All human life is unique and reflects something of God's nature.
Notice what else Genesis 9:6 says: "Whoever takes a man's life, by man his life will be taken." This means God has put a judicial system in place. You don't become a vigilante and take matters into your own hands.
We have a police force. Romans 13:4 talks about the Roman soldier: "For he is a servant of God for you." God has put the army and police in place. I know there is corruption in the police force—there's corruption everywhere. But in general, when something goes wrong, who do you call? The police, right? Even though there are some corrupt officers, you still call them because God has established that system.
Romans 13:4 continues: "But if you do evil, have fear, for the sword is not in his hand for nothing." In other words, God has given authorities the power to carry out justice. Roman soldiers had that sword. If you won't listen, you'll face the consequences. Similarly, our police have tasers, clubs, and other tools, and they have the legal right to use them because God has given them authority. He's placed them there.
If you're doing something wrong, you'll fear the authorities. I knew a policeman who came to our house in uniform with his patrol car outside. We were just socializing, but when he left, my neighbor—who never normally comes by—came over and asked, "What did they want? What were they looking for?" You see, this neighbor smokes cannabis. He was thinking, "Are they planning a raid? Is something happening?" His anxiety was real. If you're doing wrong, you will fear authorities.
But if you're not doing wrong, the Bible says you don't need to fear them. God has put in place a dual judicial system to keep law and order so justice can be carried out.
But Jesus takes it even a step further.
Matthew 5:21 says: "You have heard that it was said to people long ago, 'You shall not murder.' But I tell you that everyone who is angry with his brother or sister shall be subject to judgment."
In essence, Jesus is saying: Every sin starts somewhere. Every murder started with a thought.
1 John 3:15 says: "He that hates his brother is a murderer."
Wow. How can that be? Because that hatred—that feeling—would lead to murder if circumstances allowed. If everything lined up, that person has the potential to do it.
You're not just judged by your actions; you're judged by the content of your heart. We see actions, but what is your heart saying?
In 1 Samuel, when God was choosing between Saul and David, He said He doesn't look at the outward appearance, but He looks at the heart. You may do good things but have ulterior motives. You might say to someone, "Come on, I'll give you a lift," appearing kind, but secretly you might harbor murderous thoughts. You might escape human judgment, but God calls that person a murderer even though they haven't acted on it—because it was in their heart.
The heart is the issue.
God's way of dealing with the human heart is through inner transformation through Christ Jesus. It's not about outward rule-keeping. There are many people in prison keeping outward rules, but their hearts remain the same. That's why they're reoffenders.
The heart has to be dealt with. You can keep outward rules, but it's only a matter of time before what's in your heart displays itself.
Matthew 15:19 says: "For out of the heart perceive evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witnesses, blasphemies."
If you have a stony heart, thank the Lord there is someone who can turn that heart and make it soft. The Bible says: "If any man be in Christ, he's a new creation, and all things are passed away, and all things have become new, and all things are of God."
It doesn't matter what you've done in your life. It doesn't matter how you struggle with your parents—because some of you do. Not everyone has perfect lives. Every one of us has individual struggles.
But guess what? God is here to help and to heal situations. He's not here to judge you. He's not here to beat you over the head. He's here to help.
If you have any problems or struggles, bring them to the altar, because it's at the altar where God will meet you. Sometimes it takes faith to stand up and come out, but God sees it and respects it, and He meets you where you're at. Wherever you're at, He meets you.
Don't forget: God is love. If anybody has ever loved you, God loves you a billion times more. I can't even think of the number of times He loves you and has kept you.
Why struggle with something you can be released from today, tonight, this morning? God is always here ready to minister. The Spirit of the Lord is here. The Bible says, "Where two or three are gathered, I'm in the midst of them." So He's here.
If you're struggling with anything and need ministry or prayer, let God minister to you. Come out and share. There are people here who will pray for you, and I'll pray for you so that you can be healed and go on with your walk. Doors can open for you, and the favor of God can be released to you—which is what God wants because He has so much for you. So much.
Don't think He's abandoned you. Don't think He couldn't care less about you. Don't think that because of all the bad things that have happened in your life, God doesn't care. He does. He absolutely cares. And if you reach out to God, He will reach out to you. The Bible says, "Draw near to Him and He will draw near to you."
Our focus today comes from Exodus 20:12, which states: "Honor thy mother and thy father that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee." We'll also be exploring the sixth commandment, "Thou shalt not kill," from Exodus 20:13.
Honor has always been a significant concept. Throughout history, many people have been honored for their achievements and contributions to humanity. Let me share a few examples.
Nelson Mandela received the Nobel Peace Prize for his instrumental role in ending apartheid in South Africa. His government focused on dismantling the legacy of institutionalized racism, and for this work, he was honored with one of the world's highest awards.
Martin Luther King Jr., an American civil rights activist, became the youngest recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize at just 35 years old. He was honored for his nonviolent resistance movement against racial discrimination.
Sir David Attenborough is the only person to be knighted twice—first by Queen Elizabeth in 1985, and then in 2022 by King Charles, when he was promoted to Knight Grand Cross for his services to broadcasting and conservation. Through his remarkable insight into insects, sea creatures, and wildlife, he has given the world invaluable knowledge.
But God also honors people. Abraham is called the father of our faith. Why? Because the Bible says he believed God, and it was counted to him for righteousness. He believed that through his seed, Jesus Christ would come and redeem the world. He didn't know it would be Jesus by that name, but he believed that through his descendants, one would come to remove sin. Because of his faith, righteousness was credited to him.
Moses was honored by God in a unique way. The Bible tells us that Moses spent so much time in the presence of God that his face began to glow. When he came down from the mountain, people saw his face radiating God's glory—not from any earthly cream, but from intimate communion with the Almighty.
David was called a man after God's own heart. From childhood, he loved God more than anything. David was a king who did not fall into idolatry. The Bible uses David as the standard for other kings: "This king did not do like his father David did" or "That king followed in the ways of David." Yes, David sinned, but when he did, he repented from his heart. Because of his character, he earned the title of a man after God's own heart.
But when we look at Scripture, God says something particularly important: honor should be given to parents. In fact, this command is so critical that it is included in the Ten Commandments. Exodus 20:12 states: "Honor thy mother and father, that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee."
Honor reflects God's relational order. God has placed high importance on family structure and respect within the household. With God, there is always order. Where there is no structure, there is chaos, havoc, and disorder—and God is not like that.
When Paul the Apostle reproved the church in Corinth, he was correcting them for disorder. They were filled with the Holy Spirit and had the gifts of the Holy Spirit, yet six people would stand up and pray in tongues, then another six would attempt to interpret—creating chaos and noise. Paul had to establish order: "Let one person speak in tongues, then one person interpret. Then sit down and let another speak." 1 Corinthians 14:33 says: "For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace."
When you have order, you have peace. I see this in my own workshop—when tools are scattered everywhere, I cannot find what I need, and it brings frustration rather than peace. But when everything is in its place, there is peace.
This is God's design for every church. You can have the Holy Spirit moving in great and powerful ways, and there will still be order, because God is a God of order. Look at the pastoral epistles—1 and 2 Thessalonians, 1 and 2 Timothy—they show how to establish a church with structure. There are elders, deacons, and a governmental system. Even in heaven, there is order: archangels, seraphim, cherubim, ranks, principalities, and powers. There is always structure in God's kingdom.
God gives specific instruction for Christian households. He doesn't leave us to figure it out on our own; He shows us how to establish order.
Colossians 3:18-20 says: "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as is fit in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and be not bitter against them. Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing unto the Lord."
Honoring parents is seen as a reflection of honoring God. When you honor your parents, it demonstrates that you honor God. Parents are considered representatives of God's authority, and God fully endorses parental authority.
Ephesians 6:1 states: "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right." It's the right thing to do. Even those who aren't Christian know instinctively that it's right to obey your parents. When children don't do this, it's abnormal—an anomaly, something strange and distasteful to see.
Colossians 3:20 reinforces this: "Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord." Well pleasing—this phrase suggests that some things please God more than others. If you knew something was well pleasing to the Lord, wouldn't you do it?
1 Thessalonians 4:1 says: "Ye ought to walk and to please God so that you would abound more and more." As you walk in the things of God and please Him by keeping His commandments, you grow and abound increasingly.
Now, this teaching assumes something important: obedience to God's command shows that God is leading you, not your passions. If you honor God and your mother and father, it demonstrates you are being led by God's Word and not by your emotions—because it's not always that you want to honor your parents.
Some parents are difficult. Some are terrible parents—despicable, frankly. Some have done things so horrible they deserve to be imprisoned. I've read the news. But here's what the Bible says: You do not repay evil for evil.
Sometimes it's genuinely hard to honor a mother or father because they have not been much of a parent to you. Maybe your dad was an alcoholic. Maybe you've been abused. There are so many painful circumstances. And it's easy for me to say, "Honor your mother and father," because I have good parents. But some of you haven't had good parents, and some of you find it very difficult. Some of you are bitter because of what your parents have done.
Don't let your bitterness rob you of what God has for you. The Bible says in 1 Peter 3:9: "Not to render evil for evil." Some things have to be given to God. Some things you cannot handle in your own strength, but God says: Do not render evil for evil. Stay right before God. Bring these hurts to God and let Him heal the wounds your parents may have caused.
Keep your light on. God is the righteous judge.
Whatever you do, don't badmouth your parents. You may not have great things to say about them. You may not be able to talk about them with pride. But don't speak evil of them. And if they need a drink, give them a drink. If they need financial help, help them. You're doing it because God says so, not because your feelings dictate it.
If we merely followed our feelings, we could justify anything. Yet the Bible commands us to love our enemies and treat well those who despise us. You wouldn't do that naturally. But if you're following God, you do—because it allows God to love through you. It allows Jesus to minister to that person. Otherwise, how else would they see Jesus Christ unless you go beyond yourself and let the Holy Spirit move through you? You are His hands and His feet. You're the only way He can reach them.
So what does it actually mean to honor? The Hebrew word is kabed, and it means weight or heaviness. The idea is that someone carries significant importance—they are weighty, important, and worthy of honor.
It's like saying at work, "See that woman over there? She's a heavy hitter in the legal department." Your colleague understands: she carries weight; what she does makes a difference. Or a director makes a weighted decision—a decision of great importance.
Think of the Queen. She carried weight—not physical weight, but significance. If the Queen visited your house, you'd be amazed and excited. Why? Because of her presence, her background, all that she embodied. That is what kabed means.
When Scripture commands you to honor your mother and father, it uses the verb kabed—to treat them as significant. Significant means important, notable, big enough to be noticed, big enough to matter or make a change.
The word kabed encompasses dignity—the Hebrew concept of inherent value and worth, the quality of being worthy of esteem and respect. Your parents are the ones who raised you. They provided for you. They put food on your table, clothes on your back. They taught you. Your parents are significant, and therefore you give them the weight and respect appropriate for their role.
Yet not everyone has the same idea of what respect looks like. Sometimes I hear my neighbors talking to their mother, and I think, "Surely they're not speaking to their mother like that!" I hear them cursing and swearing, and I wonder if perhaps friends are around. But then I realize it's just them and their mother. And I think, Wow. Yet they'd probably say they respect their mother. So let me show you what honor looks like in practice.
1. Respecting Their Independence and Allowing Choices
You might have elderly parents—older now, perhaps not as quick as they used to be. But they still need respect. Sometimes when parents age, we can lose respect for them simply because they're slower. That is a big mistake, especially in God's eyes.
Let them make their own choices and decisions in daily life whenever they can. Don't make all their decisions for them. Involve them. If they're able to do something safely on their own, let them do it. Avoid taking over tasks they can still manage. I know my mom—you ask her how to do something, and she'll say, "I can do it. Leave me alone." Sometimes she's a little slow, and I think, "Come on, Mom!" But you've got to let them do it. That's respect and honor.
Ask them for their input on matters affecting their lives instead of assuming. If you're buying a bed for your mother with a choice between a yellow or blue headboard, don't decide for her. Ask her. Maybe she wants blue. If you choose yellow because you think it matches the color scheme better, that's not honor.
2. Listen Actively
Give them your full attention when they speak. Don't cut them off. Sometimes when talking to our parents, we're not even giving them our full attention—we're scrolling on our phone while they're talking, not even looking at them. That's disrespectful. Give them your attention. Show them they are significant and important.
3. Watch Your Tone
Speak calmly and avoid harsh words, shouting, or sarcasm. Sometimes we get so familiar with our parents that we shout without realizing it. Or we're sarcastic, which is rude. I've seen this many times. You have to be careful of how you speak to your parents.
4. Value Their Wisdom
Acknowledge their life experience and perspective. Your parents have lived the life. They've been where you are. If you're younger—a teenager, in your twenties—they've lived all those years. Yes, you're in a different generation, but they've lived those years and made mistakes and learned from them. They have wisdom to offer.
Always listen to them. You may not want to implement everything they suggest, but listen and take note. It will help you in later years. Proverbs 1:8-9 says: "My son, hear the instruction of thy father and forsake not the law of thy mother, for they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head and chains about thy neck."
This means that in later years, you'll stand tall and walk with a sense of pride. When you go for your first job interview, your father may have told you: "Put a tie on. Make sure you're there on time. Tuck your shirt in." Because of that, you might get the job, and you'll think, "I'm so glad my dad said that." Or your mother might teach you to tidy your bed and room, bringing order to your life. Listen to your parents. Don't think you know it all, because you don't.
This wisdom comes from Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, to whom God gave the gift of wisdom.
Honoring your parents is the foundation of a stable and godly society. It reflects our respect for God's ordained authority structures. In a culture that often devalues parental authority, Christians are called to uphold this command as a testimony to God's design.
When children don't honor their parents, we have a harsher, colder, and more uncaring society. If they don't honor their parents at home, how will they treat people outside the home? Not much better, in general.
You can always tell when a person has been raised well. They're good with people around them. They're polite. They have good manners. They're helpful. When people meet children like that, they say, "Your parents have raised you well." You can see the honor reflected in them.
Look at the book of Kings. Israel was split into the southern and northern kingdoms. The northern kingdom had no good kings—they were all terrible. Yet the text always records: "This was King so-and-so, and his mother was this." You never hear of the mother again, but they always tell you who she was. If the king was bad, it's a reflection on the mother. There's usually a father too, though we may not know as much about him, but it's always mentioned. If there was a good king, his mother's name reflects well on him.
We are called to be salt and light in this world, an example of how things should be in society. We're the ones who show society how things should be because we uphold God's family structure.
What are the blessings of honoring your mother and father? This commandment is the only one of the Ten Commandments with a promise. That's how important God thinks it is. It's the only one that carries promises with it.
Ephesians 6:2 says: "Honor thy mother and father, which is the first commandment with promise, that it might be well with you." God wants it to be well with you. He doesn't want your life filled with obstacles, stumbling blocks, difficulty, and hardship. He wants it to be well with you.
Guess what? Honoring your parents opens the door of grace to your life. It doesn't open every door, but it opens a door to favor so that your life can go well, so that the years of your life can be full and blessed. And when you walk, you might make mistakes, but God will turn your mistakes into blessings. Why? Because you honor your mother and father.
Sometimes people wonder why things aren't going right in their lives. Maybe it's because you don't honor your mother and father. Maybe you're sarcastic. Maybe you've neglected them.
I once knew a lady who was 90 years old—sharp as a pencil, sharper than me, a wealth of wisdom. Her daughter was ill and had been to the hospital. Her granddaughter called to tell her grandmother how her mother was doing. In the conversation, she said her mom wanted a sandwich. The granddaughter said, "I'm not buying the sandwich. I've got my own bills to pay. If she gives me the money, I'll buy it."
A sandwich! She wouldn't go out of her way for a sandwich for her ill mother. I thought there was a lack of respect there. Some people wonder why things aren't going right in their lives. Honor your mother and father that your days might be well with you.
Second blessing: That you may live long on the earth. "Honor your mother and father that you might live long on the earth. That you might have length of days, long life, and peace." That's God's best for you. Yes, we were created for eternal life, but while we have these physical bodies, we haven't yet obtained eternal life in them. But God wants you to have length of days, long life, and peace.
God wants you to be effective in this world. You have a ministry, and the longer you live on this earth, the more effective you can be in reaching people. That's what God wants. You were created to live God's type of life—an abundant life. The Greek word is zoe—God's type of life, abundant life. The kingdom of God is in you. Yes, we're in this world, but we carry the kingdom of God within us.
Third blessing: That you might obtain what God has for you. Exodus 20:12 says: "Honor your mother and father that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God gives you."
God has something for you. It might not be physical land, but He has a place for you. There is something waiting for you to step into. Every one of us has a calling. Every one of us has a purpose. Every one of us has something God wants you to step into.
If you don't honor your mother and father, guess what? You can derail the purposes of God in your life. You can derail stepping into all God has for you. And you don't want to do that.
Psalm 31:19 says: "Oh, how great is thy goodness which the Lord has laid up for them that fear thee, which thou has wrought for them that trust in thee before the sons of men. Oh, how great is thy goodness."
1 Corinthians 2:9 says: "But as it is written, I have not seen nor ear heard, neither has it entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for them that love him. It hasn't even entered into your heart. The things that God has prepared for them that love him."
The Bible says, "If you love me, you'll keep my commandments." Jesus Himself said, "If you love me, you keep my commandments." And He has commanded you to honor your mother and father.
Consider Moses. He had no idea—absolutely no idea—what he would end up doing. As far as he was concerned, he was a murderer. He fled Egypt because he killed someone, and he spent 40 years in the wilderness, married, had a family, and was herding sheep. He never knew his face would glow. He had no idea he would deliver Israel from Egyptian tyranny. He never knew he would see God's back. He never knew he would speak to God face to face.
You don't know what God has laid up for you. Why close the door to that by dishonoring your mother and father? Yes, they may not have been great people, but you honor them because God has said to honor them.
Some decisions and some things in Christian life are not easy. That's why we need the grace of God. That's why we need the Holy Spirit to help us. That's why Jesus said, "Wait in the upper room till you be filled with the Holy Spirit." There are things you'll be doing that aren't easy, but the power of God is there to enable you to do what God has called you to do. You have the promises to enable you.
2 Peter 1:4 says: "By these you become partakers of the divine nature by the promises."
You need to honor your parents not because you think they deserve it, but because God asked you to. By doing so, you honor God by keeping His commandments.
Now I'm going to tackle the sixth commandment: Thou shalt not kill. We've all heard of this one before, haven't we? It's quite common. Some of the other commandments aren't as well-known, but everyone knows this one.
The Hebrew word for kill is ratsach, and it means to murder or to slay someone—to kill in a premeditated way, as an avenger or like an assassin. The killing is intentional. It's not accidental, and it's not like manslaughter, which is unintentional killing that happens in the heat of the moment. But murder is something that was intended.
So in the sixth commandment, God is saying: Murder is wrong.
It seems obvious, doesn't it? But beyond God simply saying it's wrong in Exodus 20:13, we find the deeper reason in Genesis 9:6: "Whoever takes a man's life, by man will his life be taken, because God made man in his image."
Murder is wrong not only because God said so, but because man is made in the image of God.
Genesis 5:1 states: "This is the book of the generations of Adam. In the day when God created man, he made him in his image." We are all made in the image of God, which means human life is unique and has unique worth because it reflects something of God's own nature.
Because God is a spirit, we cannot see Him physically. The Bible says, "They that worship God should worship him in spirit and truth." We see God in the image of Jesus Christ, because He is the express image of God the Father. But God Himself is spirit.
So what does it mean to be made in the image of God? There are three things:
First, we have a conscience. We have a sense of right and wrong that helps us judge actions. You know when you've done something wrong. You feel guilty. Even without instruction or law, your conscience tells you something is wrong. The law is written in our hearts. That's what Paul the Apostle was saying.
Equally, if your conscience doesn't trouble you, you can say, "I have a clean conscience. I have done nothing wrong. My conscience is clear. I am guilt-free."
Second, we have reason. We have the ability to reason—the capacity to think logically, draw conclusions from gathered evidence, compare ideas, and make judgments based on facts rather than impulse alone. Because of reason, mankind has reached the moon. We've gathered evidence, made calculations, and achieved what seemed impossible. That power comes from reason.
Third, we have free will. We can make choices genuinely on our own, rather than being completely forced or determined by external influences. You have a choice to come here or not. You have a choice to follow God or not. It's your choice. God never forces you. He presents the better way.
Joshua said, "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." We don't have to serve the Lord. We could serve idols if we wanted. But Joshua chose. You're the same way. God made you so you can make choices and serve Him because you love Him, not because you're forced to.
So we have free moral beings. God won't hold a lion accountable for killing another lion. But He will hold a man responsible for murdering another man. Why? Because we're made in the image of God. All human life has unique worth because it reflects something of God's own nature. Animals aren't held accountable because we are not animals. You're on a higher level than an animal.
Would you get in a plane and see a monkey behind the steering wheel? Some people say, "Monkeys are nearly as intelligent as men." Well, let's put one in a plane and see what happens. The difference is clear.
All human life is unique and reflects something of God's nature.
Notice what else Genesis 9:6 says: "Whoever takes a man's life, by man his life will be taken." This means God has put a judicial system in place. You don't become a vigilante and take matters into your own hands.
We have a police force. Romans 13:4 talks about the Roman soldier: "For he is a servant of God for you." God has put the army and police in place. I know there is corruption in the police force—there's corruption everywhere. But in general, when something goes wrong, who do you call? The police, right? Even though there are some corrupt officers, you still call them because God has established that system.
Romans 13:4 continues: "But if you do evil, have fear, for the sword is not in his hand for nothing." In other words, God has given authorities the power to carry out justice. Roman soldiers had that sword. If you won't listen, you'll face the consequences. Similarly, our police have tasers, clubs, and other tools, and they have the legal right to use them because God has given them authority. He's placed them there.
If you're doing something wrong, you'll fear the authorities. I knew a policeman who came to our house in uniform with his patrol car outside. We were just socializing, but when he left, my neighbor—who never normally comes by—came over and asked, "What did they want? What were they looking for?" You see, this neighbor smokes cannabis. He was thinking, "Are they planning a raid? Is something happening?" His anxiety was real. If you're doing wrong, you will fear authorities.
But if you're not doing wrong, the Bible says you don't need to fear them. God has put in place a dual judicial system to keep law and order so justice can be carried out.
But Jesus takes it even a step further.
Matthew 5:21 says: "You have heard that it was said to people long ago, 'You shall not murder.' But I tell you that everyone who is angry with his brother or sister shall be subject to judgment."
In essence, Jesus is saying: Every sin starts somewhere. Every murder started with a thought.
1 John 3:15 says: "He that hates his brother is a murderer."
Wow. How can that be? Because that hatred—that feeling—would lead to murder if circumstances allowed. If everything lined up, that person has the potential to do it.
You're not just judged by your actions; you're judged by the content of your heart. We see actions, but what is your heart saying?
In 1 Samuel, when God was choosing between Saul and David, He said He doesn't look at the outward appearance, but He looks at the heart. You may do good things but have ulterior motives. You might say to someone, "Come on, I'll give you a lift," appearing kind, but secretly you might harbor murderous thoughts. You might escape human judgment, but God calls that person a murderer even though they haven't acted on it—because it was in their heart.
The heart is the issue.
God's way of dealing with the human heart is through inner transformation through Christ Jesus. It's not about outward rule-keeping. There are many people in prison keeping outward rules, but their hearts remain the same. That's why they're reoffenders.
The heart has to be dealt with. You can keep outward rules, but it's only a matter of time before what's in your heart displays itself.
Matthew 15:19 says: "For out of the heart perceive evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witnesses, blasphemies."
If you have a stony heart, thank the Lord there is someone who can turn that heart and make it soft. The Bible says: "If any man be in Christ, he's a new creation, and all things are passed away, and all things have become new, and all things are of God."
It doesn't matter what you've done in your life. It doesn't matter how you struggle with your parents—because some of you do. Not everyone has perfect lives. Every one of us has individual struggles.
But guess what? God is here to help and to heal situations. He's not here to judge you. He's not here to beat you over the head. He's here to help.
If you have any problems or struggles, bring them to the altar, because it's at the altar where God will meet you. Sometimes it takes faith to stand up and come out, but God sees it and respects it, and He meets you where you're at. Wherever you're at, He meets you.
Don't forget: God is love. If anybody has ever loved you, God loves you a billion times more. I can't even think of the number of times He loves you and has kept you.
Why struggle with something you can be released from today, tonight, this morning? God is always here ready to minister. The Spirit of the Lord is here. The Bible says, "Where two or three are gathered, I'm in the midst of them." So He's here.
If you're struggling with anything and need ministry or prayer, let God minister to you. Come out and share. There are people here who will pray for you, and I'll pray for you so that you can be healed and go on with your walk. Doors can open for you, and the favor of God can be released to you—which is what God wants because He has so much for you. So much.
Don't think He's abandoned you. Don't think He couldn't care less about you. Don't think that because of all the bad things that have happened in your life, God doesn't care. He does. He absolutely cares. And if you reach out to God, He will reach out to you. The Bible says, "Draw near to Him and He will draw near to you."
