My Words: The Power of Life and Death

The Power of Life and Death: What Your Words Reveal

Good morning. It's an honor to be here, and I'm thankful for this opportunity to teach on a subject from the book of Proverbs. The number one subject that Proverbs covers is your mouth. The smallest muscle in your body—just 2 ounces—gets you in more trouble than anything else.

Scripture counts 90 teachings in Proverbs dealing with the tongue. In today's world, this includes not just what you say, but what you text, email, post, and even like on social media. When you like a post, it's almost as if you are saying that.

The Power of Words: Life and Death

"Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits." — Proverbs 18:21

Just let that sink in for a moment. The power of life and death are in the tongue. When God created, He spoke it into existence. Into chaos, God said, "Let there be light," and it happened. The prophets in the Old Testament used the phrase "Thus saith the Lord" nearly 4,000 times. Jesus Himself is seen as the Word who walked among us. We have no idea the power of words.

Two Lies We Believe About Our Tongue

I've struggled with this for 50 years as a pastor, and I've identified two lies that many of us still believe:

First lie: If I think it, I should say it.

"A fool takes no pleasure in understanding but only in expressing his opinion." — Proverbs 18:2

Expressing your opinion is not a reference to a smart person or a godly person—it's a reference to a fool. This lie is fed by two things:

1. We think we need to speak the truth. But we don't have the complete truth.

   "If one gives an answer before he hears it is to his folly and shame." — Proverbs 18:13

   How many of you have given an answer before you got all the information? Before you knew the facts?

2. We want them to know what we're thinking. This shows up in interrupting. When we interrupt, we're saying that what we have to say is more important than what someone else has to say. Interrupting is nothing more than selfishness and sin.

Learn to listen to what somebody is saying and honor them by listening.

Second lie: It's no big deal. It's just words.

We learned this as children: "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." This is a lie. Scripture teaches us that it is life and death in the power of the tongue.

"The words of a whisper are like delicious morsels. They go down into the inner parts of the body." — Proverbs 27:22

Words find their way all the way deep inside us.

The Scar That Remains

When you drive a nail into a board and then pull it out, it leaves a hole—a scar. Every time you say something wounding, hurtful, or sinful, yes, you can be forgiven. Yes, you can apologize—and you should. But there is a scar left behind.

How many of you can remember something negative that you heard as a child? A parent, teacher, or coach said something to you, and you still remember it. Yet when asked to remember something positive from childhood, far fewer hands go up. That is the real power of life and death.

Three Truths About My Words

1. My Words Direct Where I Go

"A fool's lips walk into a fight and his mouth invites a beating." — Proverbs 18:6 "A fool's mouth is his ruin and his lips are a snare to his soul." — Proverbs 18:7

Our words direct where we go. They create an environment. They create a culture.

"For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man able to bridle his whole body. If we put bits in the mouths of horses so that they may obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well." — James 3:2-3

James chapter 3 is the longest teaching on the tongue anywhere in the Bible. Everyone stumbles with their mouth. There is no one except for the Lord Jesus Himself who is perfect in all of His ways.

James uses three analogies: a bridle controlling a horse, a rudder controlling a giant ship, and one spark setting a forest on fire. What do all three have in common? Control. Your mouth is going to take you places you don't want to go.

An argument usually starts with one sentence—one word—and it escalates. A word spoken at work gets back to a supervisor. A "reply all" ruins an evening at home. One word leads to an affair. I once knew a pastor whose affair cost him his family and his ministry. He said, "David, it started with one sentence."

Our mouth and words literally take us places we never intended to go.

2. My Words Destroy What I Have

"What you think and say affects what you believe and what you do."

Research shows that our thoughts and words influence stress hormones, immune function, and even inflammation levels. When someone lives in fear and hopelessness, the body tends to stay in a chronic stress state, elevating cortisol and weakening immune response. But when a person speaks with hope, expectancy, and faith, something shifts. The nervous system calms, stress hormones decrease, and the body moves into a state where repair and healing can begin.

When we receive difficult news, we have a choice: we can speak fear, or we can speak life.

"Whatsoever things are good, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are just... think on these things." — Philippians 4:8

"A brother offended is more unyielding than a strong city. And quarreling is like the bars of a castle." — Proverbs 18:19

When you speak something that hurts or wounds, you build a prison—not just for them, but for yourself. Trying to win that brother back is almost impossible.

"The tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life and set on fire by hell." — James 3:6

This phrase "staining the whole body" means it touches everything in your life. What you say, post, text, or how you respond affects everything. The phrase "entire course of life" never occurs anywhere else in the Bible. Your entire cycle of life—every area of life—is affected by your tongue. Your relationships, your work, your own spiritual health—everything is touched by it.

There are gossipers, bloggers, and those who post hurtful things and hide behind screens, never facing what they've said. I call them verbal drive-bys. But Scripture says that one day we will give an account for everything we ever said.

3. My Words Reveal Who I Am

If you want to know who you are, watch your mouth. It will reveal what's deep down inside.

"The words of a man's mouth are deep waters. The fountain of wisdom is a bubbling brook." — Proverbs 18:4

"With it we bless our Lord and Father. And with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be. Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and saltwater? Can a fig tree bear olives? Can a grape vine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water." — James 3:9-12

There's no mystery to this. If you want to know what's happening inside of you, listen to what's coming out of you.

"For out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks." — Matthew 12:34

Changing Your Heart, Changing Your Tongue

The best way to change your tongue is to change your heart. You can wash out someone's mouth with soap all day, but the best way to change your tongue is to change your heart.

We are like sponges. We live in an environment, watch things, participate in conversations, and soak up what we're hearing—attitudes and a culture. Then when something happens, when life squeezes us, whatever we've soaked in comes out.

"From the fruit of a man's mouth, his stomach is satisfied. He's satisfied by the yield of his lips." — Proverbs 18:20

Are you pleased with the yield of your mouth? If not, start with the heart. Say, "Jesus, I want to bless people. I don't want to hurt people. I don't want my words to be negative. I want to be positive. Lord, I want to honor You with my mouth."

The deepest peace you'll ever know is the peace that comes from speaking life into somebody else. There's no greater peace.

A Challenge for This Week

Let's say we're going to bless somebody with our words this week—something we write, say, or text. As you think about that, remember: you're soaking up what's around you.

• Why do we read Scripture every day? Because you need to spend time in God's Word.
• Why do we listen to worship music? You're soaking up what will come out.
• Why do we be careful what we see? Because you're soaking up and it's what will come out.

Purpose every day: I'm going to bless somebody with my words. Find a way to be a blessing to somebody. It all starts with that heart.

If there's anyone in this room or watching who doesn't know Christ, that's the first step—surrender to Him and say, "Lord, You've got to help me. You've got to change me from the inside."

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As we close, let's sing our prayer: "The Blessing."

The Lord bless you and keep you. Make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you. The Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.

Amen.