My Words: The Power of Life and Death

My Words: The Power of Life and Death

The Most Powerful Muscle in Your Body

When Trey and I started planning this weekend, we realized we were arriving at the number one subject the book of Proverbs talks about most: wisdom. And one of the primary ways wisdom is demonstrated in our lives is through our mouth—what we say, our tongue.

I have to be honest with you: this has always been an issue for me. So I'm first in line to hear this sermon. The tongue is the strongest muscle in your body per ounce of weight. Yet it's also one of the most destructive. Scholars have counted nearly 90 references in Proverbs alone telling us to watch and guard our tongue. There are reasons for that.

Consider this: All of creation began not with the hands of God, but with His mouth. In Genesis 1, when everything was chaos, God spoke: "Let there be light." Throughout the Old Testament, we see "thus saith the Lord" nearly 4,000 times. Jesus is described as the Word made flesh. When I say there is power in words, there is incredible power in that tongue.

Death and Life Are in the Power of the Tongue

Let's go to the heart of Proverbs 18:21:

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.

You get to choose which it is—death or life. This isn't just poetic language. This is real.

During my first year here, I received an email from a family saying their child came home from church saying, "The new pastor used the sword in the sermon." I was horrified. I called to ask when I had said something so harsh. She explained that I was talking about Jesus in the boat during the storm, and I had quoted the Greek word for "shut up." And you know what? Proverbs 18 essentially says the same thing.

I can't tell you how many times I've prayed, "Lord, would you just reach down and cover my mouth?" Because I know what happens when I don't guard my words. But it happens because we believe certain lies.

Two Lies We Believe

Lie #1: If I think it, I should say it. No. We think this because we believe we're right. That's arrogant thinking. There's nothing wrong with sharing truth in love, but most of the time it's not truth—it's our truth, our perspective.

Proverbs 18:2 says:

A fool takes no pleasure in understanding but only in expressing his opinion.

When someone insists on sharing their opinion without listening to others, Scripture calls that foolish. And it essentially says, "My opinion matters more than yours." Proverbs 18:13 adds:

If one gives an answer before he hears, it is folly and shame.

We have to come to a place of humility to admit we don't have all the truth. Speaking truth in love is totally different than interrupting somebody. I've spent 50 years in the ministry, and I owe an apology to everyone I've interrupted. Interrupting means you don't want to hear what they have to say—you need to say what you have to say. It's the most selfish, arrogant thing to do.

Especially in marriage: hear what your spouse is saying, then you speak. And when you speak, don't speak to one-up them. The goal in marriage is not to win arguments. The goal is to be one in Christ and walk together in love.

I knew a pastor who always made every conversation about himself. Someone would share about a car wreck on the way to church, and he'd interrupt with, "Yeah, well, I had one one time..." and off he'd go into his own story. One day, I took him to the hospital thinking, "Maybe in this setting, he'll actually listen." But it didn't matter what people were in for—heart surgery, gallbladder surgery—within minutes he'd say, "Well, I had that surgery once..." So I got an idea. We went to the maternity wing. A young mother had just given birth and shared how wonderful her delivery was, despite the pain. And he said, "Well, I had a kidney stone once and they said it's like giving birth to a baby." I said, "No, it is not."

When you think you have to say everything that comes to your mind, that's exactly what you sound like. It's exhausting and isolating.

Lie #2: It's no big deal. It's just words. Oh, really?

Remember that nursery rhyme? "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." That's a lie.

Proverbs 18:8 says:

Words of a whisper are like delicious morsels; they go down into the inner parts of the body.

They go deep. They cut way down inside.

I used to build houses with a guy. You can drive nails into a 2x4, and you can pull them out. But what does it leave behind? Holes. Now, yes, we can be forgiven through Jesus' blood for unkind words. But there are consequences. You leave scars in people. You leave wounds. People remember those holes.

How many of you remember a negative comment or hurtful word from childhood that still hurts today? [Pause] For those of you who didn't raise your hand, I pray your memory returns, because you've obviously drawn a complete blank.

On the flip side: How many remember a positive word? Someone who believed in you or told you that you were great at something? And that one feels a lot better, doesn't it? We get to choose.

Three Truths About Our Words

Truth #1: My Words Direct Where I Go

Proverbs 18:6-7 says:

A fool's lips walk into a fight, and his mouth invites a beating. A fool's mouth is his ruin, and his lips are a snare to his soul.

Your words actually create an environment that you wind up in. Your tongue will get you in a fight. It will lead you places you never intended to go.

James 3 gives us the longest passage in the Bible about the tongue. Written to a persecuted church scattered by persecution, James tells them: calm down, quit being negative, watch your tongue even when you're being hurt. He uses three metaphors—a bridle for a horse, a rudder for a ship, and a forest fire.

What do all three have in common? Control. They determine direction.

Does anyone know that my wife—she's sitting right over there—was a barrel racer? She had a beautiful horse named Snippy. She says she misses horses to this day. A horse is a magnificent creature, a huge animal, and you control it with a bridle. That's what James is saying: Your tongue will control and affect everything around you. It will create an environment.

In your home, one conversation can change a wonderful meal and evening together into a nightmare because you couldn't keep your mouth shut. At work, one word that gets back to your supervisor—you're done. A "Reply All" email you didn't mean to send. A Facebook post. A text that wounds. And we're not just talking about the physical tongue—we're talking about words, however they come through: typed, texted, posted, liked.

One moment, one word changes the way we're going.

I knew a pastor who told me when I was young in ministry. He said, "David, I want to tell you about an affair. It cost me my ministry. It cost me my family. It cost me everything. It started with one conversation. I didn't wake up that morning thinking I'd have an affair. But one conversation with a woman. I said one thing and it opened a door and changed everything."

Our words will direct our path.

Truth #2: My Words Destroy What I Have

What you think and say affects what you believe and do.

When you say things that are negative, it affects the way you see things. It affects everything.

You remember the verse during the offering? Philippians 4:8:

Whatsoever things are good, whatsoever things are honorable, whatsoever things are lovely—think on these things.

Why? Because our words and thoughts create a different environment. We forget the power of our own words to us.

Research by Dr. Jordan Rubin, a regenerative living specialist and biblical foods expert, shows:

Research shows that our thoughts and words influence stress hormones, immune function, even inflammation levels. When someone lives in fear and hopelessness, the body stays in chronic stress, weakening immune response and making healing more difficult. But when a person begins to speak words of hope, expectancy, and faith, something shifts. The nervous system calms down, stress hormones decrease, and the body moves out of fight or flight into a state where repair and healing can actually begin.

Just your words.

Proverbs 18:19 says:

A brother offended is more unyielding than a strong city, and quarreling is like the bars of a castle.

My parents used to say I would argue with a stop sign. I didn't understand until one day I was doing exactly that. Quarreling, always being negative, always in a quarreling attitude—it builds bars, a castle. Literally a jail. Not on them. On you. When you wound a brother, trying to win them back is like taking a fortified city. Husbands and wives know this at home. You say unkind things. She says unkind things. Is it easy to just say, "Oh, I'm sorry. Let's forget that"? No. It takes time. A lot of time.

I once said something hurtful to someone at a previous church. I knew it was wrong. I went back and apologized. But it took 10 years, and I don't think I ever fully restored that relationship.

James 3:6 describes the tongue as fire:

The tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life and set on fire by hell.

James is saying your tongue can affect every area of your life—your work, your hobbies, your family relationships, your neighbors, everything. All because of the fire that your tongue can represent.

In this country, an arsonist can get many years in prison. Right now, someone from Florida is on trial for the Palisades fire in California. But there are arsonists today who never face accountability. They send messages that are lies. They post things that aren't true. They text something that hurts and wounds. Yet they hide behind a screen and never face what they said.

The Bible teaches that one day we will all be held accountable for every word that has ever come out of our mouth or our fingers. We will stand before Him. Justice will prevail.

I call them verbal drive-bys. They shoot a message off and never account for it.

Truth #3: My Words Reveal Who I Really Am

James 3:9-12 makes it crystal clear:

With the tongue we bless our Lord and Father. With it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. How can you take the same mouth, bless God, and then turn around and curse a brother made in his image? Can fresh water and salt water come out of the same spring? Can a fig tree produce olives?

It's just practical sense. Which one are you? The way you know is by what comes out of your mouth.

Jesus said:

Out of the abundance of the heart flow all the issues of life. The mouth speaks out of that.

The best way to change your tongue and words is to change your heart. The best way to change what you post, text, and like is to change your heart, because it's all coming from there.

A Choice to Bless or Curse

Every one of us has a choice to make: to bless or curse. We can be a blessing to people or speak evil of people.

We're like a sponge in an environment that's very negative. Let's be honest—this country is divided. There's a lot of negativity and cynicism. And we soak it up. We watch TV, movies, Netflix, scroll through social media, doomscroll, and we tell ourselves it doesn't affect us. But then one day you're driving down the highway and somebody pulls out in front of you, and a word comes out of your mouth you've never said before. You wonder, "Where did that come from?" And the Lord says, "It came from inside of you."

Everything that comes out of your mouth came from inside. If we're going to bless people, if we're going to bless our spouse, we have to say, "Jesus, I need you." We have to simply say, "Lord, I want to immerse my life in you. I want to soak you up."