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End of Year Q&A - 2025
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Connected by scripture or shared themes.
End of Year Q&A - 2025
Continue exploring
Connected by scripture or shared themes.
Pastor Jimmy opens the service with prayer, welcoming the congregation to the last Q&A service of 2025. Due to heavy traffic, fewer people are present than usual, which allows for a more intimate "home fellowship" atmosphere. He explains that they will answer as many questions as possible before 8:00 PM.
Problem: A person with ADHD or reading disorders struggles to read the Bible due to word clustering and focus issues.
Pastor Jimmy's response draws on Romans 10:17: "Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word." He explains that reading is not the only way to engage with Scripture. He recommends using Bible apps with audio versions, which allow people to listen to God's Word while doing other activities. This removes the restriction of having to sit down and read physically.
Problem: Does a person who prays softly—simply saying "Thank you, Jesus" and brief prayers—receive the same blessings as someone who prays extensively? Does the style of prayer matter?
Pastor Jimmy clarifies that many people take their personal experiences with God and turn them into doctrine for everyone else. He stresses that the power is not in the words; the power is in the relationship.
He illustrates this with an analogy: When you have a close relationship with someone, you can communicate an entire sentence with just a look. The closer you are, the fewer words you need. Jesus didn't teach a specific prayer formula that everyone must follow. Prayer can be silent, loud, brief, or lengthy—what matters is the depth of your relationship with God.
Pastor Jimmy points to examples from Scripture where God's servants needed few or no words:
Mark 11:24 is cited: "When you ask, believe that you have received. Therefore, I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you receive and it'll be yours."
The framework is simple: When you ask God, believe that He will answer. You don't have to prescribe how He answers. If He gives you a sign, that's your answer—don't ask for another one. Some people are like Gideon, constantly asking God to confirm what He's already said. But once you have your answer, trust it.
Problem: A person asks God for things but struggles to recognize when He answers because the answer often comes differently than expected. She sets conditions for what a "sign" should look like, then misses God's actual answer. She's caught in a cycle of second-guessing and asking for more confirmation.
Pastor Jimmy says the questioner has essentially answered her own question. The issue is that we ask God with a preconceived idea of how He should answer.
Example: You pray, "God, bless me," but in your mind you're picturing a specific person blessing you. You don't say the name, but you're hoping God will nudge that person. Instead, God uses someone completely different. You keep hovering around the first person, waiting for God to move them, missing what God is already doing.
The answer is to ask God without boxing Him in. Say, "Lord, I need you to speak to me about this, and I need you to give me a sign," then leave it and trust that God knows how to speak to you. He created you; He knows your mind and how to communicate with you.
The danger is overthinking. You receive a sign but think, "That was too quick," or "Is this really you?" Then you ask for another sign, and what started as waiting for an answer becomes fear or reservation.
Mark 11:24 restates the principle: When you ask, believe that you will receive. Start there. God will answer. You don't know how, but God will answer, and you're open to however He responds.
Don't keep asking for signs once you've received one. It's like Gideon, who asked God multiple times for confirmation. While that may be understandable for a life-or-death decision, the principle is: believe when you ask that you will receive.
Problem: A woman has a long-standing, deep friendship where they pray together and attend retreats. Recently, other people have been influencing her friend, and the friend is allowing them to say negative things that affect their relationship. The questioner has chosen peace after her cancer treatment but feels her peaceful approach isn't working. She's frustrated because she's been told by others that if she fights back, it's because her friend is "getting bigger" and therefore wasn't a true friend. She wants to know what else she can do.
Pastor Jimmy opens with profound sympathy: "It's the worst thing for someone to feel let down by the people who should protect you the most."
He acknowledges the special pain of betrayal by those close to you. Even Jesus was betrayed by Judas, one of His closest companions. This teaches us two things:
The question "Why would you allow this after all we've been through?" is understandable but may not have an answer we can comprehend. It could be:
The Path Forward:
Pastor Jimmy teaches about the "before Christ" and "after Christ" aspects of the believer's life, referencing Galatians 2:20: "I am crucified with Christ. No longer I that live but Christ that lives in me. And the life I live now I live by faith through the son of God who died and gave his life for me."
There is an old you and a new you, and there's a constant struggle between flesh and spirit. This is why Paul says, "Every day I beat my body to bring my flesh into subjection of the spirit."
The key insight: True power is not in demonstrating what you can do. True power is in holding back.
Jesus demonstrated this perfectly. Standing before Pilate, Jesus—who created everything, who could call a legion of angels to destroy everything—held back. One angel killed 185,000 men. A legion is 6,000 angels. Jesus could have ended it with a thought, but instead He said to Pilate, "The power that you have is one that I choose to give you."
Then Jesus taught: "Pray for those who persecute you."
What should you do?
Pastor Jimmy adds a personal note: "Trust me, I've been there many times. He pays me. I have to do what Jesus would do. He paid me. And then he says, 'Pray for them, for those who persecute you.' And he says, 'When you do good to people that don't deserve it, it is like keeping hot coal on their head.'"
Give her what she doesn't deserve. Jesus gave us mercy and grace we didn't deserve. If He gave us what we deserved, we wouldn't be here. Show her the same grace.
If the situation becomes disrespectful and you need to love her from a distance, that's acceptable. You can forgive someone without being around them. Set boundaries. You're an adult; you can choose. But don't show her the "one man squad" side. That old self is dead.
Problem: A person's family failed to protect her from an uncle's evil deeds and covered it up. She's carried this scar her whole life. She asks: Is it okay to wish him dead? Will she get healing if something bad happens to him? How does she heal?
Pastor Jimmy begins with deep empathy: "It's the worst thing for someone to feel let down by the people who should protect you the most. It's a very hard thing. It's one thing if a stranger lies on you; it's another thing when your family lies on you."
He addresses the pain of knowing the whole family knew but everyone acted like they didn't. That's a special kind of betrayal.
Is it okay to wish him dead?
Pastor Jimmy doesn't condemn the feeling but redirects the focus. The issue is that when people hurt us deeply, we hold onto the hurt and believe that holding onto it gives us power over them. We refuse to release them because we feel that releasing them means letting them go scot-free. But this is an illusion.
The Bleach Analogy:
Imagine someone gives you a cup of bleach instead of water to drink. You hold it in your mouth, and every time you see that person, you keep it there. Who is dying? The person who gave you the cup, or the person holding bleach in their mouth?
"Unforgiveness is drinking poison and expecting the other person to die."
Wishing him dead or holding onto the hurt won't change your pain. The poison is inside you, not him. Whether he lives or dies won't heal you because the healing isn't dependent on his life or death—it's dependent on you letting it go.
How to Heal:
First: Forgive.
God teaches that before you pray for your own forgiveness, you must forgive your brother. If you don't forgive, your prayers are hindered. Forgiveness is actually selfish—you do it first for yourself, not for them.
The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant (Matthew 18) illustrates this: A man owed the king an enormous debt. The king forgave it. But that same man had a servant who owed him a much smaller amount. When the servant begged for forgiveness, the man refused and threw him in prison. The king heard about this and said, "Aren't you a hypocrite? I forgave your massive debt, and you can't forgive this small one?" The king threw him in prison.
We go to God and ask for forgiveness constantly. God grants it. But then when someone else wrongs us, we refuse to forgive. That's the same hypocrisy.
Forgive not because he deserves it, but because you need to.
The Bible says, "While we were yet sinners, he died for us." Jesus didn't forgive us because we were good. He forgave us because we needed forgiveness. Forgive your uncle the same way. Not because he's a good uncle, but because you need to let him go.
Second: Forgive your family too.
You must also forgive the family members who covered it up. Again, not because they deserve it, but for your own freedom.
Third: Set boundaries.
You can forgive someone and still choose not to have a relationship with them. You're an adult now. You get to decide. You can love people from a distance. You can protect yourself by removing yourself from situations that trigger you. Forgiveness and boundaries are not mutually exclusive.
Fourth: Get counseling.
Forgiveness is a process. Professional help can support this healing journey.
Can God forgive him if he asks?
Pastor Jimmy addresses a hard truth: "If he asks for forgiveness, God will forgive him. The same way he will throw your own in the sea of forgiveness, he will throw his own too."
This is uncomfortable to hear. But when it comes to God, sin is sin. The Bible says "rebellion is like witchcraft." It says "if you think it in your heart, you've done it." By that standard, how many of us are murderers and fornicators based on our thoughts?
The conversation about fairness is a slippery slope. God has forgiven us countless times. We come to Him and say, "Forgive me," and He does. How many times? Jesus taught that we should forgive seventy times seven—without limit.
So yes, if your uncle asks God for forgiveness, God will forgive him. That's an uncomfortable truth. But here's what matters: Only God can truly heal you. God can heal you so completely that there's no trace of your past. He can take your mess and make it your message.
Pastor Jimmy gives examples: People who were abused as children, who later abused children themselves, have become the biggest child abuse advocates. They transformed their pain into purpose.
Paul was Saul. He was a murderer. He stood by while Stephen was stoned to death. Yet God chose him to write most of the New Testament. We don't get to choose who God uses.
About wishing him dead:
If he dies, you'll discover that his death won't heal your pain. The pain isn't coming from him being alive; it's coming from you holding onto what happened. Whether he lives or dies is inconsequential to your healing. The poison is inside you.
Remove him from the equation. He had access to you because you were a child and defenseless. You're not a child anymore. You get to decide.
Many abusers don't even remember what they did. They may deny it or genuinely block it out, making you question your own memory. But that doesn't matter. Leave them to God.
God is a righteous judge. God can forgive him and he still faces consequences. David was forgiven by God, but his son died as a consequence. Forgiveness and consequences are not mutually exclusive. God will handle him justly.
Problem: A 23-year-old grew up with only their mother's love. Recently, an unknown man called claiming to be their biological father, saying the mother pushed him away for years. Now that the person is making money, the father is reappearing. The questioner feels broken and wants to push him away, but there's internal conflict because "blood is thicker than water."
Pastor Jimmy validates the complexity: "Every boy needs his father. And what happens when you grow up not having it? We find ways to compensate for the fact that he's not there."
When you grow up without your father, you build walls and create narratives. You tell yourself he abandoned you because you need to survive emotionally. You see other kids with their dads and you have to rationalize why yours isn't there.
Is the father's story true?
It could be true, or it could be a lie. Parents sometimes use children as weapons after a marriage ends, keeping them from the other parent. This is wrong and damages the child. But it's a real thing that happens.
Or it's possible the father has been waiting and watching for his moment.
But here's what matters: Every person has a need to know where they come from. There's a saying: "Every child will find their father." This is a deep human need.
A critical point: "In every man there's a little boy. And that little boy wants to know his father. Every boy wants to know his father. Every girl wants to know her father."
You've lived 23 years coping without him. Now you have a chance to know him. He might not add anything to make you better. He might add some things. But just being around him, you might answer questions about yourself: "Oh, wow. This is why I am the way I am."
God chose him to be your father. Of all the people God could have chosen, He chose this man. That means there's something in him that you need. Otherwise, God could have placed you in any other family.
Should you punish your mother?
No. If she kept your father away, that may come back to haunt her. But she raised you alone, which means she's earned enough goodwill. Believe that if she knew better, she would have done better. Even though she may deserve your anger, she had to be both dad and mom.
What should you do?
Get to know your father. He's your father. DNA is real. You'll be shocked at how many things about yourself suddenly make sense: "Oh, this is why I am like this."
He may have been useless for 23 years, but if he decides he wants to be a father today, give him a chance. He's your father.
If you feel he's coming because of money, be wise. Help him to the extent you're comfortable, but protect yourself. Don't shut him out because of your mother's mistake or because he didn't know better.
Problem: A person asks how to deal with betrayal from friends, acknowledging that in arguments, both people are usually at fault. How does one determine who bears more responsibility? Also, how does one know if they've healed from family hurt—is it healing if you feel numb and don't feel pain or joy?
On Betrayal from Friends:
Pastor Jimmy reiterates: "People will be people. You can't stop it. You can't prevent it. It's inevitable. People will hurt you. What do you do when people betray you? Forgive them."
Take your broken heart to God and ask Him to heal you. Ask for grace not to retaliate. Ask for the Holy Spirit to be made perfect in your weakness.
A Practical Exercise:
Take the person's picture and look at it every day. Pray for them: "Lord, I thank you for this person. I love this person." This isn't about them; it's about you and your heart.
When you get to the place where you see the person and you're no longer angry, you know you're making progress. Every day, look at their picture and say, "Lord, I thank you for this person. I love you." Speak to yourself. This has nothing to do with them.
Consequences Still Apply:
Forgiveness doesn't mean putting yourself in a position to be betrayed again. If someone stole from you before, you can forgive them, but you won't put them near your money again. Consequence.
Pastor Jimmy admits: "I've been in situations where I've been hurt and I say, 'Oh, Lord.' But I don't have the luxury of unforgiveness. If I have bitterness, I'll come and bleed over everybody. That's a dangerous thing. I can't have bitterness." He asks the Lord to help him, knowing it's about his own heart, not theirs.
On Numbness and Healing:
Pastor Jimmy doesn't directly address whether numbness is healing in the transcript, but the context suggests that true healing involves moving from pain to peace, not to numbness. The goal is a soft, clean heart—not an absent one.
Problem: A woman's husband has cheated, lied, and is now with the person he cheated with. He's asking for a divorce. The woman questions whether she should grant it, believing God gave her a promise about their marriage.
Pastor Jimmy acknowledges the tension: "My carnal mind, I don't understand. What are we doing? You... hey, he said he doesn't want to [be with you] anymore. Of course, divorce him."
But he recognizes that the questioner is asking from a different place. She has a conviction that God gave her a promise about this marriage, and she's not willing to let it go because of her husband's failure.
The Complexity:
There are two potential answers here. One is practical: if he's cheating and wants out, let him go. But the questioner seems to be asking whether God is asking her to stand and pray.
Pastor Jimmy cites examples where God asked prophets to do seemingly crazy things:
God can ask you to do hard things as signs and lessons.
God's Perfect Will vs. God's Permissive Will:
The Bible says, "Can two walk together unless they agree?" If he wants to leave, can God force him to stay? No. God will never override our free choices.
But there's God's perfect will and God's permissive will. God may be saying, "I want you to pray for this marriage," but your husband has the choice to leave.
The Key Question:
Ask God: "Have you released me from this covenant?"
If the answer is yes, "come and be going." Leave.
If the answer is no, stay and "tar" (endure). It won't be easy. People will call you foolish. Your patience will be tested. But if it's God, His grace will be sufficient.
Pastor Jimmy references the movie War Room, where a wife entered spiritual warfare for her marriage while her husband was unfaithful. God restored the marriage. But he notes: "That's a big if. That's what God is asking you to do."
Don't speak for God and say He would never ask you to do something hard. But seek God directly about what He's asking of you in this situation.
Problem: A person raised in Islam struggled to understand speaking in tongues. She thought it was something you had to reach a level of spirituality to access. Now in church, pastors tell people to speak in tongues on command, and she feels inadequate. She wonders: Are people naturally walking in the spirit and just waiting to be activated? Or should she wait until the spirit "hits" her?
The Theological Foundation:
Pastor Jimmy starts with the Trinity: God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit are three expressions of the same being.
Jesus is the Word of God made flesh. A helpful analogy: When you have a thought in your mind, the thought is in your mind and part of your mind. But when you speak it, it becomes words existing outside your mind while still being connected to your mind. Jesus is God's thought manifested.
Jesus told His disciples: "It is expedient that I go so that I send you the Holy Spirit." The Holy Spirit is what He calls "the working arm of the trinity"—the activator.
In Genesis 1:
God the Father spoke (Jesus is the Word). The Holy Spirit hovered over the waters and activated the word. "And there was light."
So the Trinity was present in creation: God speaking the Word, the Holy Spirit bringing it to pass.
The Holy Spirit in Believers:
When you believe in Jesus, God doesn't just save you—He puts His Spirit inside you. You become three in one (body, soul, spirit), just as God is three in one. The Holy Spirit dwells in your spirit, creating a direct channel of communication with God.
The Language Analogy:
Every country has its own language. If your father grew up speaking a language you don't understand, he can speak it all around you and you'll be lost. But those who know the language are communicating.
Heaven has its own language. Speaking in tongues is the language of heaven—a spiritually encoded language that even the devil doesn't understand because it's God's Spirit speaking through you.
When you speak in tongues, it's not for you to understand. Your spirit man doesn't need to understand. The Holy Spirit prays through you, communicating with the Father. There's communication happening; you just don't need to comprehend it.
How to Receive:
It's not about reaching a level of spirituality. It comes the moment you receive Jesus. If the Trinity is a package, when you say, "Jesus come into my life," God comes in, Jesus comes in, and you get the Holy Spirit. It's all included.
The Bible talks about many gifts of the Spirit: healing, prophecy, words of knowledge, faith, discernment, and speaking in tongues. Speaking in tongues is a free gift. Not earned. Not achieved.
How to Access It:
It's simple: Ask. "Lord, I have the Holy Spirit. I want to speak in tongues."
Then: Open your mouth. Believe the Holy Spirit is inside you. Let Him do what He does. Free your mind. Sometimes it happens immediately. Sometimes it doesn't. There's no pressure.
1 Corinthians 14:2-4:
"For one who speaks in an unknown tongue does not speak to people but to God. For no one understands him or catches his meaning, but by the spirit he speaks mysteries, secret truths, hidden things. One who speaks in a tongue edifies himself, but the one who prophesies edifies the church."
Paul says: "I wish that all of you speak in unknown tongues, but even more I wish that you would prophesy." Prophesy benefits the church; tongues benefit you personally.
What happens when you speak in tongues?
You're edifying yourself. The Holy Spirit searches the deepest parts of you and communicates with the Father. You don't need to know what you're saying because the Holy Spirit and God are handling the communication.
Some receive immediately. Some receive while driving, listening to worship music. Some receive in their room at 3 AM. Sometimes it happens while watching TV—the Holy Spirit just activates it.
If you don't speak in tongues right away, you're not spiritually broken. It's not a measure of your spirituality. What matters is your relationship with Jesus. Everything else is added.
A Testimony:
Another believer shares John 7:37: "In the last day, that great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried, saying, 'If any man thirst, let him come unto me and drink. He that believeth on me, as the scripture have said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water.'"
The key is coming to Jesus thirsty. You must have a genuine thirst. Then you believe that Jesus is the baptizer. And if you come to Him with thirst and belief, out of your belly will flow rivers of living water—including speaking in tongues.
She shares a story of a woman who paid a man of God to teach her how to speak in tongues. She never received. The man of God said: "It's because you went to the wrong person. You're supposed to come to Jesus." She kept her eyes fixed on Jesus, meditated on the scripture, and eventually, in her quiet time with the Lord, she burst forth in tongues.
Problem: A single parent—playing both mother and father roles—asks how to pray for an absent father when she's hurt by his absence. Can she simply not pray for him or wish him well?
Pastor Jimmy expresses his bewilderment: "I don't know how you as a man can have a child and not want to be there. I don't know." But he acknowledges it happens.
He also notes that sometimes men are trying but women have expectations they won't meet. If a man can only give 2,000 when the woman expects 10,000, she may reject his help entirely, then claim he's not providing. There are two sides.
But assuming he's completely irresponsible:
The Bible says God is a father to the fatherless. God will give you the wisdom, grace, resources, and wherewithal to raise your child.
Regarding the absent father:
If he ever comes to his senses and wants to be in the child's life, don't deny him. Not for you, but for the child.
Yes, pray for him. Not for you—for your child. Your child deserves to have a father. Even if he's not providing financially, he's still the father.
Separate yourself from your child:
You and your child are not one. Don't shut the door to him for both of you. Shut the door for yourself if needed, but always keep the door open for the child.
You can have a boundary with him personally while still allowing your child access. Pray for God to touch his heart so he shows up for the child. Ask for grace to forgive him.
But remember: It's not about him anymore. It's about what's best for your child. God brought both of you together to have this child. There's something in him—whether you like it or not—that your child needs.
Pastor Jimmy thanks everyone for their vulnerability and openness. He prays that the answers and contributions gave direction and clarity, and that the congregation finishes the year well in Jesus's name.
The Q&A ends with a powerful emphasis on forgiveness, boundaries, healing, and the importance of relationship with God above all else.
Pastor Jimmy opens the service with prayer, welcoming the congregation to the last Q&A service of 2025. Due to heavy traffic, fewer people are present than usual, which allows for a more intimate "home fellowship" atmosphere. He explains that they will answer as many questions as possible before 8:00 PM.
Problem: A person with ADHD or reading disorders struggles to read the Bible due to word clustering and focus issues.
Pastor Jimmy's response draws on Romans 10:17: "Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word." He explains that reading is not the only way to engage with Scripture. He recommends using Bible apps with audio versions, which allow people to listen to God's Word while doing other activities. This removes the restriction of having to sit down and read physically.
Problem: Does a person who prays softly—simply saying "Thank you, Jesus" and brief prayers—receive the same blessings as someone who prays extensively? Does the style of prayer matter?
Pastor Jimmy clarifies that many people take their personal experiences with God and turn them into doctrine for everyone else. He stresses that the power is not in the words; the power is in the relationship.
He illustrates this with an analogy: When you have a close relationship with someone, you can communicate an entire sentence with just a look. The closer you are, the fewer words you need. Jesus didn't teach a specific prayer formula that everyone must follow. Prayer can be silent, loud, brief, or lengthy—what matters is the depth of your relationship with God.
Pastor Jimmy points to examples from Scripture where God's servants needed few or no words:
Mark 11:24 is cited: "When you ask, believe that you have received. Therefore, I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you receive and it'll be yours."
The framework is simple: When you ask God, believe that He will answer. You don't have to prescribe how He answers. If He gives you a sign, that's your answer—don't ask for another one. Some people are like Gideon, constantly asking God to confirm what He's already said. But once you have your answer, trust it.
Problem: A person asks God for things but struggles to recognize when He answers because the answer often comes differently than expected. She sets conditions for what a "sign" should look like, then misses God's actual answer. She's caught in a cycle of second-guessing and asking for more confirmation.
Pastor Jimmy says the questioner has essentially answered her own question. The issue is that we ask God with a preconceived idea of how He should answer.
Example: You pray, "God, bless me," but in your mind you're picturing a specific person blessing you. You don't say the name, but you're hoping God will nudge that person. Instead, God uses someone completely different. You keep hovering around the first person, waiting for God to move them, missing what God is already doing.
The answer is to ask God without boxing Him in. Say, "Lord, I need you to speak to me about this, and I need you to give me a sign," then leave it and trust that God knows how to speak to you. He created you; He knows your mind and how to communicate with you.
The danger is overthinking. You receive a sign but think, "That was too quick," or "Is this really you?" Then you ask for another sign, and what started as waiting for an answer becomes fear or reservation.
Mark 11:24 restates the principle: When you ask, believe that you will receive. Start there. God will answer. You don't know how, but God will answer, and you're open to however He responds.
Don't keep asking for signs once you've received one. It's like Gideon, who asked God multiple times for confirmation. While that may be understandable for a life-or-death decision, the principle is: believe when you ask that you will receive.
Problem: A woman has a long-standing, deep friendship where they pray together and attend retreats. Recently, other people have been influencing her friend, and the friend is allowing them to say negative things that affect their relationship. The questioner has chosen peace after her cancer treatment but feels her peaceful approach isn't working. She's frustrated because she's been told by others that if she fights back, it's because her friend is "getting bigger" and therefore wasn't a true friend. She wants to know what else she can do.
Pastor Jimmy opens with profound sympathy: "It's the worst thing for someone to feel let down by the people who should protect you the most."
He acknowledges the special pain of betrayal by those close to you. Even Jesus was betrayed by Judas, one of His closest companions. This teaches us two things:
The question "Why would you allow this after all we've been through?" is understandable but may not have an answer we can comprehend. It could be:
The Path Forward:
Pastor Jimmy teaches about the "before Christ" and "after Christ" aspects of the believer's life, referencing Galatians 2:20: "I am crucified with Christ. No longer I that live but Christ that lives in me. And the life I live now I live by faith through the son of God who died and gave his life for me."
There is an old you and a new you, and there's a constant struggle between flesh and spirit. This is why Paul says, "Every day I beat my body to bring my flesh into subjection of the spirit."
The key insight: True power is not in demonstrating what you can do. True power is in holding back.
Jesus demonstrated this perfectly. Standing before Pilate, Jesus—who created everything, who could call a legion of angels to destroy everything—held back. One angel killed 185,000 men. A legion is 6,000 angels. Jesus could have ended it with a thought, but instead He said to Pilate, "The power that you have is one that I choose to give you."
Then Jesus taught: "Pray for those who persecute you."
What should you do?
Pastor Jimmy adds a personal note: "Trust me, I've been there many times. He pays me. I have to do what Jesus would do. He paid me. And then he says, 'Pray for them, for those who persecute you.' And he says, 'When you do good to people that don't deserve it, it is like keeping hot coal on their head.'"
Give her what she doesn't deserve. Jesus gave us mercy and grace we didn't deserve. If He gave us what we deserved, we wouldn't be here. Show her the same grace.
If the situation becomes disrespectful and you need to love her from a distance, that's acceptable. You can forgive someone without being around them. Set boundaries. You're an adult; you can choose. But don't show her the "one man squad" side. That old self is dead.
Problem: A person's family failed to protect her from an uncle's evil deeds and covered it up. She's carried this scar her whole life. She asks: Is it okay to wish him dead? Will she get healing if something bad happens to him? How does she heal?
Pastor Jimmy begins with deep empathy: "It's the worst thing for someone to feel let down by the people who should protect you the most. It's a very hard thing. It's one thing if a stranger lies on you; it's another thing when your family lies on you."
He addresses the pain of knowing the whole family knew but everyone acted like they didn't. That's a special kind of betrayal.
Is it okay to wish him dead?
Pastor Jimmy doesn't condemn the feeling but redirects the focus. The issue is that when people hurt us deeply, we hold onto the hurt and believe that holding onto it gives us power over them. We refuse to release them because we feel that releasing them means letting them go scot-free. But this is an illusion.
The Bleach Analogy:
Imagine someone gives you a cup of bleach instead of water to drink. You hold it in your mouth, and every time you see that person, you keep it there. Who is dying? The person who gave you the cup, or the person holding bleach in their mouth?
"Unforgiveness is drinking poison and expecting the other person to die."
Wishing him dead or holding onto the hurt won't change your pain. The poison is inside you, not him. Whether he lives or dies won't heal you because the healing isn't dependent on his life or death—it's dependent on you letting it go.
How to Heal:
First: Forgive.
God teaches that before you pray for your own forgiveness, you must forgive your brother. If you don't forgive, your prayers are hindered. Forgiveness is actually selfish—you do it first for yourself, not for them.
The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant (Matthew 18) illustrates this: A man owed the king an enormous debt. The king forgave it. But that same man had a servant who owed him a much smaller amount. When the servant begged for forgiveness, the man refused and threw him in prison. The king heard about this and said, "Aren't you a hypocrite? I forgave your massive debt, and you can't forgive this small one?" The king threw him in prison.
We go to God and ask for forgiveness constantly. God grants it. But then when someone else wrongs us, we refuse to forgive. That's the same hypocrisy.
Forgive not because he deserves it, but because you need to.
The Bible says, "While we were yet sinners, he died for us." Jesus didn't forgive us because we were good. He forgave us because we needed forgiveness. Forgive your uncle the same way. Not because he's a good uncle, but because you need to let him go.
Second: Forgive your family too.
You must also forgive the family members who covered it up. Again, not because they deserve it, but for your own freedom.
Third: Set boundaries.
You can forgive someone and still choose not to have a relationship with them. You're an adult now. You get to decide. You can love people from a distance. You can protect yourself by removing yourself from situations that trigger you. Forgiveness and boundaries are not mutually exclusive.
Fourth: Get counseling.
Forgiveness is a process. Professional help can support this healing journey.
Can God forgive him if he asks?
Pastor Jimmy addresses a hard truth: "If he asks for forgiveness, God will forgive him. The same way he will throw your own in the sea of forgiveness, he will throw his own too."
This is uncomfortable to hear. But when it comes to God, sin is sin. The Bible says "rebellion is like witchcraft." It says "if you think it in your heart, you've done it." By that standard, how many of us are murderers and fornicators based on our thoughts?
The conversation about fairness is a slippery slope. God has forgiven us countless times. We come to Him and say, "Forgive me," and He does. How many times? Jesus taught that we should forgive seventy times seven—without limit.
So yes, if your uncle asks God for forgiveness, God will forgive him. That's an uncomfortable truth. But here's what matters: Only God can truly heal you. God can heal you so completely that there's no trace of your past. He can take your mess and make it your message.
Pastor Jimmy gives examples: People who were abused as children, who later abused children themselves, have become the biggest child abuse advocates. They transformed their pain into purpose.
Paul was Saul. He was a murderer. He stood by while Stephen was stoned to death. Yet God chose him to write most of the New Testament. We don't get to choose who God uses.
About wishing him dead:
If he dies, you'll discover that his death won't heal your pain. The pain isn't coming from him being alive; it's coming from you holding onto what happened. Whether he lives or dies is inconsequential to your healing. The poison is inside you.
Remove him from the equation. He had access to you because you were a child and defenseless. You're not a child anymore. You get to decide.
Many abusers don't even remember what they did. They may deny it or genuinely block it out, making you question your own memory. But that doesn't matter. Leave them to God.
God is a righteous judge. God can forgive him and he still faces consequences. David was forgiven by God, but his son died as a consequence. Forgiveness and consequences are not mutually exclusive. God will handle him justly.
Problem: A 23-year-old grew up with only their mother's love. Recently, an unknown man called claiming to be their biological father, saying the mother pushed him away for years. Now that the person is making money, the father is reappearing. The questioner feels broken and wants to push him away, but there's internal conflict because "blood is thicker than water."
Pastor Jimmy validates the complexity: "Every boy needs his father. And what happens when you grow up not having it? We find ways to compensate for the fact that he's not there."
When you grow up without your father, you build walls and create narratives. You tell yourself he abandoned you because you need to survive emotionally. You see other kids with their dads and you have to rationalize why yours isn't there.
Is the father's story true?
It could be true, or it could be a lie. Parents sometimes use children as weapons after a marriage ends, keeping them from the other parent. This is wrong and damages the child. But it's a real thing that happens.
Or it's possible the father has been waiting and watching for his moment.
But here's what matters: Every person has a need to know where they come from. There's a saying: "Every child will find their father." This is a deep human need.
A critical point: "In every man there's a little boy. And that little boy wants to know his father. Every boy wants to know his father. Every girl wants to know her father."
You've lived 23 years coping without him. Now you have a chance to know him. He might not add anything to make you better. He might add some things. But just being around him, you might answer questions about yourself: "Oh, wow. This is why I am the way I am."
God chose him to be your father. Of all the people God could have chosen, He chose this man. That means there's something in him that you need. Otherwise, God could have placed you in any other family.
Should you punish your mother?
No. If she kept your father away, that may come back to haunt her. But she raised you alone, which means she's earned enough goodwill. Believe that if she knew better, she would have done better. Even though she may deserve your anger, she had to be both dad and mom.
What should you do?
Get to know your father. He's your father. DNA is real. You'll be shocked at how many things about yourself suddenly make sense: "Oh, this is why I am like this."
He may have been useless for 23 years, but if he decides he wants to be a father today, give him a chance. He's your father.
If you feel he's coming because of money, be wise. Help him to the extent you're comfortable, but protect yourself. Don't shut him out because of your mother's mistake or because he didn't know better.
Problem: A person asks how to deal with betrayal from friends, acknowledging that in arguments, both people are usually at fault. How does one determine who bears more responsibility? Also, how does one know if they've healed from family hurt—is it healing if you feel numb and don't feel pain or joy?
On Betrayal from Friends:
Pastor Jimmy reiterates: "People will be people. You can't stop it. You can't prevent it. It's inevitable. People will hurt you. What do you do when people betray you? Forgive them."
Take your broken heart to God and ask Him to heal you. Ask for grace not to retaliate. Ask for the Holy Spirit to be made perfect in your weakness.
A Practical Exercise:
Take the person's picture and look at it every day. Pray for them: "Lord, I thank you for this person. I love this person." This isn't about them; it's about you and your heart.
When you get to the place where you see the person and you're no longer angry, you know you're making progress. Every day, look at their picture and say, "Lord, I thank you for this person. I love you." Speak to yourself. This has nothing to do with them.
Consequences Still Apply:
Forgiveness doesn't mean putting yourself in a position to be betrayed again. If someone stole from you before, you can forgive them, but you won't put them near your money again. Consequence.
Pastor Jimmy admits: "I've been in situations where I've been hurt and I say, 'Oh, Lord.' But I don't have the luxury of unforgiveness. If I have bitterness, I'll come and bleed over everybody. That's a dangerous thing. I can't have bitterness." He asks the Lord to help him, knowing it's about his own heart, not theirs.
On Numbness and Healing:
Pastor Jimmy doesn't directly address whether numbness is healing in the transcript, but the context suggests that true healing involves moving from pain to peace, not to numbness. The goal is a soft, clean heart—not an absent one.
Problem: A woman's husband has cheated, lied, and is now with the person he cheated with. He's asking for a divorce. The woman questions whether she should grant it, believing God gave her a promise about their marriage.
Pastor Jimmy acknowledges the tension: "My carnal mind, I don't understand. What are we doing? You... hey, he said he doesn't want to [be with you] anymore. Of course, divorce him."
But he recognizes that the questioner is asking from a different place. She has a conviction that God gave her a promise about this marriage, and she's not willing to let it go because of her husband's failure.
The Complexity:
There are two potential answers here. One is practical: if he's cheating and wants out, let him go. But the questioner seems to be asking whether God is asking her to stand and pray.
Pastor Jimmy cites examples where God asked prophets to do seemingly crazy things:
God can ask you to do hard things as signs and lessons.
God's Perfect Will vs. God's Permissive Will:
The Bible says, "Can two walk together unless they agree?" If he wants to leave, can God force him to stay? No. God will never override our free choices.
But there's God's perfect will and God's permissive will. God may be saying, "I want you to pray for this marriage," but your husband has the choice to leave.
The Key Question:
Ask God: "Have you released me from this covenant?"
If the answer is yes, "come and be going." Leave.
If the answer is no, stay and "tar" (endure). It won't be easy. People will call you foolish. Your patience will be tested. But if it's God, His grace will be sufficient.
Pastor Jimmy references the movie War Room, where a wife entered spiritual warfare for her marriage while her husband was unfaithful. God restored the marriage. But he notes: "That's a big if. That's what God is asking you to do."
Don't speak for God and say He would never ask you to do something hard. But seek God directly about what He's asking of you in this situation.
Problem: A person raised in Islam struggled to understand speaking in tongues. She thought it was something you had to reach a level of spirituality to access. Now in church, pastors tell people to speak in tongues on command, and she feels inadequate. She wonders: Are people naturally walking in the spirit and just waiting to be activated? Or should she wait until the spirit "hits" her?
The Theological Foundation:
Pastor Jimmy starts with the Trinity: God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit are three expressions of the same being.
Jesus is the Word of God made flesh. A helpful analogy: When you have a thought in your mind, the thought is in your mind and part of your mind. But when you speak it, it becomes words existing outside your mind while still being connected to your mind. Jesus is God's thought manifested.
Jesus told His disciples: "It is expedient that I go so that I send you the Holy Spirit." The Holy Spirit is what He calls "the working arm of the trinity"—the activator.
In Genesis 1:
God the Father spoke (Jesus is the Word). The Holy Spirit hovered over the waters and activated the word. "And there was light."
So the Trinity was present in creation: God speaking the Word, the Holy Spirit bringing it to pass.
The Holy Spirit in Believers:
When you believe in Jesus, God doesn't just save you—He puts His Spirit inside you. You become three in one (body, soul, spirit), just as God is three in one. The Holy Spirit dwells in your spirit, creating a direct channel of communication with God.
The Language Analogy:
Every country has its own language. If your father grew up speaking a language you don't understand, he can speak it all around you and you'll be lost. But those who know the language are communicating.
Heaven has its own language. Speaking in tongues is the language of heaven—a spiritually encoded language that even the devil doesn't understand because it's God's Spirit speaking through you.
When you speak in tongues, it's not for you to understand. Your spirit man doesn't need to understand. The Holy Spirit prays through you, communicating with the Father. There's communication happening; you just don't need to comprehend it.
How to Receive:
It's not about reaching a level of spirituality. It comes the moment you receive Jesus. If the Trinity is a package, when you say, "Jesus come into my life," God comes in, Jesus comes in, and you get the Holy Spirit. It's all included.
The Bible talks about many gifts of the Spirit: healing, prophecy, words of knowledge, faith, discernment, and speaking in tongues. Speaking in tongues is a free gift. Not earned. Not achieved.
How to Access It:
It's simple: Ask. "Lord, I have the Holy Spirit. I want to speak in tongues."
Then: Open your mouth. Believe the Holy Spirit is inside you. Let Him do what He does. Free your mind. Sometimes it happens immediately. Sometimes it doesn't. There's no pressure.
1 Corinthians 14:2-4:
"For one who speaks in an unknown tongue does not speak to people but to God. For no one understands him or catches his meaning, but by the spirit he speaks mysteries, secret truths, hidden things. One who speaks in a tongue edifies himself, but the one who prophesies edifies the church."
Paul says: "I wish that all of you speak in unknown tongues, but even more I wish that you would prophesy." Prophesy benefits the church; tongues benefit you personally.
What happens when you speak in tongues?
You're edifying yourself. The Holy Spirit searches the deepest parts of you and communicates with the Father. You don't need to know what you're saying because the Holy Spirit and God are handling the communication.
Some receive immediately. Some receive while driving, listening to worship music. Some receive in their room at 3 AM. Sometimes it happens while watching TV—the Holy Spirit just activates it.
If you don't speak in tongues right away, you're not spiritually broken. It's not a measure of your spirituality. What matters is your relationship with Jesus. Everything else is added.
A Testimony:
Another believer shares John 7:37: "In the last day, that great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried, saying, 'If any man thirst, let him come unto me and drink. He that believeth on me, as the scripture have said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water.'"
The key is coming to Jesus thirsty. You must have a genuine thirst. Then you believe that Jesus is the baptizer. And if you come to Him with thirst and belief, out of your belly will flow rivers of living water—including speaking in tongues.
She shares a story of a woman who paid a man of God to teach her how to speak in tongues. She never received. The man of God said: "It's because you went to the wrong person. You're supposed to come to Jesus." She kept her eyes fixed on Jesus, meditated on the scripture, and eventually, in her quiet time with the Lord, she burst forth in tongues.
Problem: A single parent—playing both mother and father roles—asks how to pray for an absent father when she's hurt by his absence. Can she simply not pray for him or wish him well?
Pastor Jimmy expresses his bewilderment: "I don't know how you as a man can have a child and not want to be there. I don't know." But he acknowledges it happens.
He also notes that sometimes men are trying but women have expectations they won't meet. If a man can only give 2,000 when the woman expects 10,000, she may reject his help entirely, then claim he's not providing. There are two sides.
But assuming he's completely irresponsible:
The Bible says God is a father to the fatherless. God will give you the wisdom, grace, resources, and wherewithal to raise your child.
Regarding the absent father:
If he ever comes to his senses and wants to be in the child's life, don't deny him. Not for you, but for the child.
Yes, pray for him. Not for you—for your child. Your child deserves to have a father. Even if he's not providing financially, he's still the father.
Separate yourself from your child:
You and your child are not one. Don't shut the door to him for both of you. Shut the door for yourself if needed, but always keep the door open for the child.
You can have a boundary with him personally while still allowing your child access. Pray for God to touch his heart so he shows up for the child. Ask for grace to forgive him.
But remember: It's not about him anymore. It's about what's best for your child. God brought both of you together to have this child. There's something in him—whether you like it or not—that your child needs.
Pastor Jimmy thanks everyone for their vulnerability and openness. He prays that the answers and contributions gave direction and clarity, and that the congregation finishes the year well in Jesus's name.
The Q&A ends with a powerful emphasis on forgiveness, boundaries, healing, and the importance of relationship with God above all else.
