The living archive is loading.
Continue exploring
Connected by scripture or shared themes.
Continue exploring
Connected by scripture or shared themes.
Good morning. I want to start by acknowledging that many of us have been caught in a trap. The church has often gotten caught up in religion—rules, regulations, traditions—and that's what pushes people away from a real relationship with God. Sometimes the church doesn't represent what a relationship with God should actually look like. And I'm learning that's because we don't understand relationships at all.
Relationships are powerful. Before there was religion, there was relationship. In Genesis, before we had any book to follow, God was simply meeting with His people. He was always about relationship. Sin and failure separated us from God, but the death of Jesus restored that connection. It was always about relationship.
In Genesis 2:18, God says: "Then the Lord God said, it is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper fit for him."
God says it's not good for you to be alone. No matter how much we try to make isolation work, being alone was never God's design. Many of us have been failed by so many people that we choose isolation. But isolation damages you. You become comfortable in it—so comfortable that you don't want to let anybody in. But how is your joy? It's hard to have joy when you choose isolation.
I realized something walking through Brookfield. I had just come back from London, where you walk everywhere. Two-hour walks are normal. When I got back and had to walk just 12 minutes, it felt manageable. But while I was walking alone for those 12 minutes, it felt very lonely. It felt very isolated. The difference was clear: in London, I was walking with people. In Brookfield, I was walking alone.
We don't understand that choosing to walk alone is choosing permanent isolation. God didn't intend for you to be in a prison by yourself. Even prisons understand this—they use solitary confinement as punishment because isolation breaks people. God does not want you to be alone.
I know the enemy tricks you into isolation because pain pushed you there. But this morning, I pray that God will pull you out of isolation. Open your heart. Know that God intended for people to love you. You are worth being loved. You are worth being poured joy into. You are worth somebody wrapping their arms around you every single day, because God made you to be embraced and loved. You are supposed to be in relationship with people. But more than that, you're supposed to be in relationship with God.
There are four important qualities that make a healthy relationship—and all of these are mentioned in the Bible. When we understand a healthy relationship on earth, we can understand a healthy relationship with God. God styled His relationship with you the same way He styled a marriage: it's supposed to be a covenant, personal, and private.
Every healthy relationship starts with love and commitment. This has to be the foundation. You should not commit to anyone who isn't willing to say out loud: "I'm choosing you and only you."
Stop accepting situationships—that "we're kind of together but we really don't know where we are" nonsense. Somebody gaslights you and won't put a title on it because they know a title requires commitment. If you're used to those kinds of relationships, I'm telling you—you've never been in one. You've been dealing with people who use you to get what they want, then walk away.
It's hard for you to understand relationship with God because God is choosing you every time. He's already chosen you. He's just waiting for you to choose Him. You need to be with somebody who desires you. God desires that same love and commitment.
If you're with somebody who hasn't chosen you, you're setting yourself up to be used. They get what they want and walk away, saying, "I never said we were anything." That's leaving you out to dry after you tried to prove you're worth being chosen.
When you understand a healthy relationship here on earth, you can finally understand a healthy relationship with God. God wants the same thing. God doesn't want us flirting with other gods. God is saying: "If you're choosing me, then choose me. Don't believe in me but also do your own thing, believe in astrology, believe in that. That's not a relationship. You're just laying with whoever you want. I want commitment. I want a relationship. If you're going to be with me, actually be with me. Don't use me as a backup plan."
Nobody wants to be second choice. You don't want somebody to choose you because their first relationship didn't work. You want to know they chose you because they wanted you and loved you. Even though they had the option to go another way, they stayed because you were the one they wanted. God is saying the same thing: "I want you to choose me—not because I'm your last resort, but because I'm your only resort."
Matthew 22:36 records the disciples asking Jesus: "Teacher, what is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?" Jesus replied: "You must love the Lord your God with all your heart and all your soul and all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment."
What does that mean? All your heart. All your soul. All your mind. God doesn't want a piece of you. He wants all of you. Let me teach you about relationships. You don't want somebody giving you a piece of their heart, a piece of their mind, and handing out pieces to other people. God is saying the same thing: "I want you to be with me, but I don't want to be with you if you think I'm just one of your options. I want this to be a real relationship where I have all of your attention and all of your heart."
Exodus 34:14 says: "You must worship no other gods, for the Lord whose very name is jealous."
Some of you already know—God's name is jealous. God is a God who is jealous about His relationship with you. Why are you jealous? Because you were made in God's image. You were made to be like Him. When you choose somebody, you want that person to choose you back.
But this isn't the sinful, nasty, envious jealousy you're used to. God's jealousy comes when we give to another something that rightfully belongs to Him. When you take my time in the morning where you could be praying and use it to scroll on social media. When you take my time where you're supposed to gather and worship and decide that brunch is more important. When you take my time where you could be reading my word and decide to read tabloids instead.
God is saying: "My jealousy is not me not wanting you to be happy. I love you so much. I want you to have joy. My jealousy comes from when you say, 'God, I know I should be with you, but I'm choosing my comfort and convenience.' I'm jealous because this is supposed to be my time."
Every relationship needs communication. Communication is what we do on earth. Prayer is our communication with God. Any good counselor or anyone in a healthy marriage will tell you: communication is the most important part of a healthy relationship. If we're not communicating, we can't make it work.
You cannot build a relationship with someone you don't talk to. If a person never talks to you, you'll say, "I don't know that person." Why? Because you never talk to them. They know nothing about me. I cannot say I'm building with you if I never hear from you. To build a relationship, we've got to be able to talk.
It's the same with God. You cannot build a relationship with God if you're not talking to Him. 1 Thessalonians 5:17 says: "Never stop praying."
Now, this is relationship, not religion. Because if it was just religious prayer—the formal stuff we do in church—and God says "never stop," you'd be walking around like: "Thank you, God. Father, thank you, God Jesus. Hey, how y'all doing? Father God, I thank you..." That would be weird. Clearly, He's not saying just hum all day. Prayer is supposed to be communication with God. It means I'm talking to God all the time. It's just talking.
Some of you love to talk, so you should start talking to God. God made you to talk to Him. Say, "Hey, God, I thank you for waking me up this morning. I'm trying to do good. I don't just want to pray before I eat and pray before I lay down." It's a conversation all day, every day.
Look at Psalm 55:17: "Evening and morning and at noon will I pray and cry out loud and God will hear my voice."
Evening, morning, noon—all the time. He's not putting limitations on conversation because it's a relationship. Especially when you actually like the relationship—you know, when you get that new person you actually like. Some of you love to talk. When you actually like somebody, you want to talk all the time. "Good morning. How you doing?" At your lunch break: "What you doing?" You get mad if they don't respond, right? Because you're just into each other. It's talking all the time.
God is saying: "I want that same kind of relationship with you. Don't relegate me to 60 seconds in the morning and 60 seconds at night. I actually want to talk to you. I want to make sure you're good." Instead of calling your friend when you're about to lose it at work, call God. "God, I'm about to lose it. These are your people, right? I'm trying to look like you, Jesus, but right now I'm looking a little devilish. Talk to God. Be open. Make it a relationship. Prayer is simply an open line of communication where God and I are talking throughout the day.
But here's the thing—communication requires an open heart. Look at Mark 11:25: "But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against."
First, forgive anyone you're holding a grudge against. Some of you just realized you've been praying the wrong way your whole life. You're grudge-filled right now, asking God to get people. He says: "First, forgive anyone you're holding a grudge against so that your father in heaven will forgive your sins, too."
Do you know how hard it is to communicate with unforgiveness on your heart? When you haven't forgiven someone, it's hard to talk to them. Everything they say irritates you. You pick apart how they say things. Why? Because you haven't forgiven them. It's hard to move on when we're more concerned about being right than about peace. We sacrifice our peace for our ego because we need to prove we're right.
Unforgiveness makes the relationship toxic. You're always mad, things are always weird, communication is always bad—all because two people with egos won't put them down to say, "I forgive you." Unforgiveness actually puts you in a place of hell and torment. If hell is a place of permanent torment, then you create hell around you every time you choose to live in hate and unforgiveness. You live in the pain while they get to run free.
This is why God says before you pray: "I want to help you, but I can't help you if you won't release this stuff. You've got to choose to forgive."
In a healthy relationship, you need respect and honor. They are foundational. If your partner doesn't respect and honor you, you will only damage yourself if you stay connected.
Let me be plain: if your partner does not respect you—if you're with somebody that doesn't respect you—notice how much you damage yourself to let them walk over you while you stay. Respect has to be in your home. When you're in a relationship with somebody, they require and should receive the most respect you give to anybody on this earth. Not mom, not dad, not kids. The person you're married to—that person should get the most respect. This is why I tell my sisters: don't go home and tell your husband you're not going to do something because pastor said so. That's between you and him.
The highest respect goes to the one you are in covenant with. They should get the honor and respect because they sacrifice the most for you.
When we talk about relationship with God, God requires the same honor. You can't have a relationship with God and not honor Him in the way you move. If I have honor with God, I have to think about God in the way that I move. Because in my relationships, I think about them in the way that I move.
Isaiah 29:13 says: "And so the Lord says, 'These people say they are mine. They honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me, and their worship of me is nothing but man-made rules learned by rote or habitual repetition.'"
God is saying: "A lot of people say they live for me, but their hearts don't prove it." You can look at a person's life and tell who they live for. If you're in a relationship with God, why are you moving like you're single?
I'm married. My wife is right here. Because I'm married, I honor and respect her. Even when she's not around, I watch the places I go and the conversations I get involved in out of respect and honor for her. Not that she's controlling me, but because I honor and respect her, I ask myself: Would I be doing this if she was standing next to me? Would I go to lunch with this person if she was here? Would I be on the phone with this person? Would I be in this conversation the same way? Would I be doing this at work if she worked here?
It's not about rules. It's that because I honor you, I respect you in the way I move.
God is saying the same thing: "How do you say we're in relationship, but when people look at you, they can't tell?" It's not about rules or being religious. Just say: "Man, I'm in relationship with God, so there are certain things I don't do." Not because you can't, not because somebody told you that you're "religious" now. "Oh, you saved. You can't have another drink." No, boss. I don't get drunk anymore because when I'm drunk, I dishonor the one I'm in relationship with. Certain things I don't do not because I follow a bunch of rules somebody gave me, but because I have a relationship with my Creator. I start asking myself: Does this honor you, God? When I'm doing this with my body, does this honor you? When I'm going to these places, do they honor you, or am I disrespecting you by going anyway?
Psalm 86:11 says: "Teach me your ways, O Lord, that I may live according to your truth. Grant me purity of heart so that I may honor you."
He says: "Give me a pure heart so that I may honor you." If your heart is pure, you're automatically going to live honorably. If your heart is not pure, you're going to do things that dishonor God without even recognizing it because all you're thinking about is yourself.
If your heart isn't pure, it's impossible to live honorably because you're always looking for ways to get over on someone. That's why some people are always lying. If you're always lying, it's a sign there's something wrong with your heart. You're always trying to get over, trying to deceive, trying to make me believe something that isn't true.
I'm not here to bash anybody, but I want to say this: if you are a cheater, this is probably uncomfortable. But if you're cheating, you know that the way you're moving is only for you. And often, cheaters would lose their minds if their partner did to them what they're doing. They'd be ready to die, hyperventilating, wanting to go home to God if they received what they've been doing to you.
As a person in a committed relationship or marriage, your relationship guides how you should move with other people. It's the same with God. The relationship guides. It's not about rules of what you can't do. It's about respect and honor. Because I respect and honor, there are certain places I'm not going to go. And I'm not even saying it's sinful—sometimes it's just about respect and honor.
You need trust. You cannot be in a healthy relationship with somebody you don't trust. If you say, "I only trust you as far as I can throw you," it's a bad relationship. If they don't answer and you get nervous, it's a bad relationship. If you don't hear back and you're fearful, it's a bad relationship. It's saying: "I don't trust you." Probably because they've deceived you before and trust has been broken.
No relationship can last without trust. What person wants to be with someone they can't trust? Trust grows through experience and consistency. The longer a person shows you the same character, the more you trust them.
This is why we can trust God. God's consistency has been shown year after year, year after year, for hundreds and thousands of years. He's been the same God—a consistent God. He's proven that He's worthy of our trust.
Jeremiah 17:7 says: "But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him."
You're blessed because nothing is better than being in a relationship with somebody you can trust with your life. Nothing is better. Everyone wants safety in relationships. Nothing is better than being with somebody you know is going to keep you safe. I'm safe with my wife. I don't have to look out for her or watch behind her. I know that she's got me.
God is that kind of relationship. You don't have to worry: "Is God going to show up? Am I out here alone? Am I by myself?" God says: "Hey, I will never leave you. I will never forsake you. Every time you open your eyes, I'm standing right there."
Psalm 112:7 says: "They do not fear bad news. They confidently trust the Lord to care for them."
When you're living in a place of trust, you don't fear bad news because you know God's got you. You don't live in fear. But when you're with someone you don't trust, you're always afraid—afraid of some secret coming out, afraid of something being done behind your back that will crush you, afraid of something they're doing right now that you can't quite prove but you sense it. That crushing fear of bad news. But God doesn't want you living like that.
When you have a relationship with God, God says you can relax in the safety and trust of who I am. You can know that I've got you. Living with this kind of fear can crush you from the inside out. But your relationship with God will start healing you day by day because God is trustworthy. You can trust that He's got you.
The real question is: Will you be faithful to God in your relationship? You're connected now. 2 Timothy 2:13 says: "If we are unfaithful, he remains faithful for he cannot deny who he is. His name is faithful."
Even when we've been unfaithful to Him, He remains faithful because He cannot deny who He is.
Let me give you a real example about being in relationship with God. When you're connected to God, this relationship guides you naturally. Your relationship guides you even in natural relationships—your partner can do one thing and make your good day a bad day because you're connected.
When you're holding hands, you're in a relationship with God. Now start walking. As you both walk, God is leading. As long as I'm obedient and willing, God can take me wherever He needs to take me. But here's the thing: I have to move when God is moving. I have to go when God says go. I have to let them go when God says let them go. When God says, "Remove this," I have to remove it because God is taking me somewhere and I have to trust His leadership.
But here's what happens a lot of the time. God wants to go one way, and we want to go another way. God is leading, and we're like: "God, I want to go this way. I had fun over there. You can pull me, don't worry about it. I want to go because I had fun." God pulls. We say: "God, I don't want to go this way." God pulls harder. We say: "God, I don't want to..." We're resisting. We're not trusting.
How many of our relationships with God look like that last one? You're not walking—God's dragging you. You're trying to catch up, losing your balance because you haven't learned to trust God. But when you learn to trust God, you say: "God, lead me. God, even if I can't see where I'm going, even if I don't know what's happening, God, I trust you. I don't know where you're taking me, but you said you will never leave me nor forsake me. I know, God, you're going to keep me safe. Why? Because you're faithful. You're faithful in all your ways. You're good."
I want to speak to anybody in the room who may be in a place of saying: "You know what, I don't have a relationship with God the way that I need to. I'm not talking about through the church. I'm talking about with your Creator."
If you don't have a relationship with God the way that you need to, I'm going to tell you right now—and you don't have to tell me—you feel alone. It's a lonely thing to be separate from your Creator. You came from somewhere. If you're here and you feel like: "Man, God, I need to be connected to you. I'm tired of feeling like I have nowhere to go, no one to talk to"—maybe you're feeling that because you haven't learned to actually trust in God yet.
If that's you and you're saying: "Pastor, I want to submit to God. I want to receive faith. I want a real relationship with God." I'm not going to make you say anything. But if today is the day you realize you need a real relationship with God, I want you to come and receive faith. Come and say: "God, I want a real relationship. I'm not just looking for religion. I want to walk with you. I want to have a real connection. I want to know that you've got me. I want to know that you're faithful. I want to know you for myself. I want to have a real, healthy relationship with you, God."
Also, if you're looking for a church home, you can come at this time.
Good morning. I want to start by acknowledging that many of us have been caught in a trap. The church has often gotten caught up in religion—rules, regulations, traditions—and that's what pushes people away from a real relationship with God. Sometimes the church doesn't represent what a relationship with God should actually look like. And I'm learning that's because we don't understand relationships at all.
Relationships are powerful. Before there was religion, there was relationship. In Genesis, before we had any book to follow, God was simply meeting with His people. He was always about relationship. Sin and failure separated us from God, but the death of Jesus restored that connection. It was always about relationship.
In Genesis 2:18, God says: "Then the Lord God said, it is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper fit for him."
God says it's not good for you to be alone. No matter how much we try to make isolation work, being alone was never God's design. Many of us have been failed by so many people that we choose isolation. But isolation damages you. You become comfortable in it—so comfortable that you don't want to let anybody in. But how is your joy? It's hard to have joy when you choose isolation.
I realized something walking through Brookfield. I had just come back from London, where you walk everywhere. Two-hour walks are normal. When I got back and had to walk just 12 minutes, it felt manageable. But while I was walking alone for those 12 minutes, it felt very lonely. It felt very isolated. The difference was clear: in London, I was walking with people. In Brookfield, I was walking alone.
We don't understand that choosing to walk alone is choosing permanent isolation. God didn't intend for you to be in a prison by yourself. Even prisons understand this—they use solitary confinement as punishment because isolation breaks people. God does not want you to be alone.
I know the enemy tricks you into isolation because pain pushed you there. But this morning, I pray that God will pull you out of isolation. Open your heart. Know that God intended for people to love you. You are worth being loved. You are worth being poured joy into. You are worth somebody wrapping their arms around you every single day, because God made you to be embraced and loved. You are supposed to be in relationship with people. But more than that, you're supposed to be in relationship with God.
There are four important qualities that make a healthy relationship—and all of these are mentioned in the Bible. When we understand a healthy relationship on earth, we can understand a healthy relationship with God. God styled His relationship with you the same way He styled a marriage: it's supposed to be a covenant, personal, and private.
Every healthy relationship starts with love and commitment. This has to be the foundation. You should not commit to anyone who isn't willing to say out loud: "I'm choosing you and only you."
Stop accepting situationships—that "we're kind of together but we really don't know where we are" nonsense. Somebody gaslights you and won't put a title on it because they know a title requires commitment. If you're used to those kinds of relationships, I'm telling you—you've never been in one. You've been dealing with people who use you to get what they want, then walk away.
It's hard for you to understand relationship with God because God is choosing you every time. He's already chosen you. He's just waiting for you to choose Him. You need to be with somebody who desires you. God desires that same love and commitment.
If you're with somebody who hasn't chosen you, you're setting yourself up to be used. They get what they want and walk away, saying, "I never said we were anything." That's leaving you out to dry after you tried to prove you're worth being chosen.
When you understand a healthy relationship here on earth, you can finally understand a healthy relationship with God. God wants the same thing. God doesn't want us flirting with other gods. God is saying: "If you're choosing me, then choose me. Don't believe in me but also do your own thing, believe in astrology, believe in that. That's not a relationship. You're just laying with whoever you want. I want commitment. I want a relationship. If you're going to be with me, actually be with me. Don't use me as a backup plan."
Nobody wants to be second choice. You don't want somebody to choose you because their first relationship didn't work. You want to know they chose you because they wanted you and loved you. Even though they had the option to go another way, they stayed because you were the one they wanted. God is saying the same thing: "I want you to choose me—not because I'm your last resort, but because I'm your only resort."
Matthew 22:36 records the disciples asking Jesus: "Teacher, what is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?" Jesus replied: "You must love the Lord your God with all your heart and all your soul and all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment."
What does that mean? All your heart. All your soul. All your mind. God doesn't want a piece of you. He wants all of you. Let me teach you about relationships. You don't want somebody giving you a piece of their heart, a piece of their mind, and handing out pieces to other people. God is saying the same thing: "I want you to be with me, but I don't want to be with you if you think I'm just one of your options. I want this to be a real relationship where I have all of your attention and all of your heart."
Exodus 34:14 says: "You must worship no other gods, for the Lord whose very name is jealous."
Some of you already know—God's name is jealous. God is a God who is jealous about His relationship with you. Why are you jealous? Because you were made in God's image. You were made to be like Him. When you choose somebody, you want that person to choose you back.
But this isn't the sinful, nasty, envious jealousy you're used to. God's jealousy comes when we give to another something that rightfully belongs to Him. When you take my time in the morning where you could be praying and use it to scroll on social media. When you take my time where you're supposed to gather and worship and decide that brunch is more important. When you take my time where you could be reading my word and decide to read tabloids instead.
God is saying: "My jealousy is not me not wanting you to be happy. I love you so much. I want you to have joy. My jealousy comes from when you say, 'God, I know I should be with you, but I'm choosing my comfort and convenience.' I'm jealous because this is supposed to be my time."
Every relationship needs communication. Communication is what we do on earth. Prayer is our communication with God. Any good counselor or anyone in a healthy marriage will tell you: communication is the most important part of a healthy relationship. If we're not communicating, we can't make it work.
You cannot build a relationship with someone you don't talk to. If a person never talks to you, you'll say, "I don't know that person." Why? Because you never talk to them. They know nothing about me. I cannot say I'm building with you if I never hear from you. To build a relationship, we've got to be able to talk.
It's the same with God. You cannot build a relationship with God if you're not talking to Him. 1 Thessalonians 5:17 says: "Never stop praying."
Now, this is relationship, not religion. Because if it was just religious prayer—the formal stuff we do in church—and God says "never stop," you'd be walking around like: "Thank you, God. Father, thank you, God Jesus. Hey, how y'all doing? Father God, I thank you..." That would be weird. Clearly, He's not saying just hum all day. Prayer is supposed to be communication with God. It means I'm talking to God all the time. It's just talking.
Some of you love to talk, so you should start talking to God. God made you to talk to Him. Say, "Hey, God, I thank you for waking me up this morning. I'm trying to do good. I don't just want to pray before I eat and pray before I lay down." It's a conversation all day, every day.
Look at Psalm 55:17: "Evening and morning and at noon will I pray and cry out loud and God will hear my voice."
Evening, morning, noon—all the time. He's not putting limitations on conversation because it's a relationship. Especially when you actually like the relationship—you know, when you get that new person you actually like. Some of you love to talk. When you actually like somebody, you want to talk all the time. "Good morning. How you doing?" At your lunch break: "What you doing?" You get mad if they don't respond, right? Because you're just into each other. It's talking all the time.
God is saying: "I want that same kind of relationship with you. Don't relegate me to 60 seconds in the morning and 60 seconds at night. I actually want to talk to you. I want to make sure you're good." Instead of calling your friend when you're about to lose it at work, call God. "God, I'm about to lose it. These are your people, right? I'm trying to look like you, Jesus, but right now I'm looking a little devilish. Talk to God. Be open. Make it a relationship. Prayer is simply an open line of communication where God and I are talking throughout the day.
But here's the thing—communication requires an open heart. Look at Mark 11:25: "But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against."
First, forgive anyone you're holding a grudge against. Some of you just realized you've been praying the wrong way your whole life. You're grudge-filled right now, asking God to get people. He says: "First, forgive anyone you're holding a grudge against so that your father in heaven will forgive your sins, too."
Do you know how hard it is to communicate with unforgiveness on your heart? When you haven't forgiven someone, it's hard to talk to them. Everything they say irritates you. You pick apart how they say things. Why? Because you haven't forgiven them. It's hard to move on when we're more concerned about being right than about peace. We sacrifice our peace for our ego because we need to prove we're right.
Unforgiveness makes the relationship toxic. You're always mad, things are always weird, communication is always bad—all because two people with egos won't put them down to say, "I forgive you." Unforgiveness actually puts you in a place of hell and torment. If hell is a place of permanent torment, then you create hell around you every time you choose to live in hate and unforgiveness. You live in the pain while they get to run free.
This is why God says before you pray: "I want to help you, but I can't help you if you won't release this stuff. You've got to choose to forgive."
In a healthy relationship, you need respect and honor. They are foundational. If your partner doesn't respect and honor you, you will only damage yourself if you stay connected.
Let me be plain: if your partner does not respect you—if you're with somebody that doesn't respect you—notice how much you damage yourself to let them walk over you while you stay. Respect has to be in your home. When you're in a relationship with somebody, they require and should receive the most respect you give to anybody on this earth. Not mom, not dad, not kids. The person you're married to—that person should get the most respect. This is why I tell my sisters: don't go home and tell your husband you're not going to do something because pastor said so. That's between you and him.
The highest respect goes to the one you are in covenant with. They should get the honor and respect because they sacrifice the most for you.
When we talk about relationship with God, God requires the same honor. You can't have a relationship with God and not honor Him in the way you move. If I have honor with God, I have to think about God in the way that I move. Because in my relationships, I think about them in the way that I move.
Isaiah 29:13 says: "And so the Lord says, 'These people say they are mine. They honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me, and their worship of me is nothing but man-made rules learned by rote or habitual repetition.'"
God is saying: "A lot of people say they live for me, but their hearts don't prove it." You can look at a person's life and tell who they live for. If you're in a relationship with God, why are you moving like you're single?
I'm married. My wife is right here. Because I'm married, I honor and respect her. Even when she's not around, I watch the places I go and the conversations I get involved in out of respect and honor for her. Not that she's controlling me, but because I honor and respect her, I ask myself: Would I be doing this if she was standing next to me? Would I go to lunch with this person if she was here? Would I be on the phone with this person? Would I be in this conversation the same way? Would I be doing this at work if she worked here?
It's not about rules. It's that because I honor you, I respect you in the way I move.
God is saying the same thing: "How do you say we're in relationship, but when people look at you, they can't tell?" It's not about rules or being religious. Just say: "Man, I'm in relationship with God, so there are certain things I don't do." Not because you can't, not because somebody told you that you're "religious" now. "Oh, you saved. You can't have another drink." No, boss. I don't get drunk anymore because when I'm drunk, I dishonor the one I'm in relationship with. Certain things I don't do not because I follow a bunch of rules somebody gave me, but because I have a relationship with my Creator. I start asking myself: Does this honor you, God? When I'm doing this with my body, does this honor you? When I'm going to these places, do they honor you, or am I disrespecting you by going anyway?
Psalm 86:11 says: "Teach me your ways, O Lord, that I may live according to your truth. Grant me purity of heart so that I may honor you."
He says: "Give me a pure heart so that I may honor you." If your heart is pure, you're automatically going to live honorably. If your heart is not pure, you're going to do things that dishonor God without even recognizing it because all you're thinking about is yourself.
If your heart isn't pure, it's impossible to live honorably because you're always looking for ways to get over on someone. That's why some people are always lying. If you're always lying, it's a sign there's something wrong with your heart. You're always trying to get over, trying to deceive, trying to make me believe something that isn't true.
I'm not here to bash anybody, but I want to say this: if you are a cheater, this is probably uncomfortable. But if you're cheating, you know that the way you're moving is only for you. And often, cheaters would lose their minds if their partner did to them what they're doing. They'd be ready to die, hyperventilating, wanting to go home to God if they received what they've been doing to you.
As a person in a committed relationship or marriage, your relationship guides how you should move with other people. It's the same with God. The relationship guides. It's not about rules of what you can't do. It's about respect and honor. Because I respect and honor, there are certain places I'm not going to go. And I'm not even saying it's sinful—sometimes it's just about respect and honor.
You need trust. You cannot be in a healthy relationship with somebody you don't trust. If you say, "I only trust you as far as I can throw you," it's a bad relationship. If they don't answer and you get nervous, it's a bad relationship. If you don't hear back and you're fearful, it's a bad relationship. It's saying: "I don't trust you." Probably because they've deceived you before and trust has been broken.
No relationship can last without trust. What person wants to be with someone they can't trust? Trust grows through experience and consistency. The longer a person shows you the same character, the more you trust them.
This is why we can trust God. God's consistency has been shown year after year, year after year, for hundreds and thousands of years. He's been the same God—a consistent God. He's proven that He's worthy of our trust.
Jeremiah 17:7 says: "But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him."
You're blessed because nothing is better than being in a relationship with somebody you can trust with your life. Nothing is better. Everyone wants safety in relationships. Nothing is better than being with somebody you know is going to keep you safe. I'm safe with my wife. I don't have to look out for her or watch behind her. I know that she's got me.
God is that kind of relationship. You don't have to worry: "Is God going to show up? Am I out here alone? Am I by myself?" God says: "Hey, I will never leave you. I will never forsake you. Every time you open your eyes, I'm standing right there."
Psalm 112:7 says: "They do not fear bad news. They confidently trust the Lord to care for them."
When you're living in a place of trust, you don't fear bad news because you know God's got you. You don't live in fear. But when you're with someone you don't trust, you're always afraid—afraid of some secret coming out, afraid of something being done behind your back that will crush you, afraid of something they're doing right now that you can't quite prove but you sense it. That crushing fear of bad news. But God doesn't want you living like that.
When you have a relationship with God, God says you can relax in the safety and trust of who I am. You can know that I've got you. Living with this kind of fear can crush you from the inside out. But your relationship with God will start healing you day by day because God is trustworthy. You can trust that He's got you.
The real question is: Will you be faithful to God in your relationship? You're connected now. 2 Timothy 2:13 says: "If we are unfaithful, he remains faithful for he cannot deny who he is. His name is faithful."
Even when we've been unfaithful to Him, He remains faithful because He cannot deny who He is.
Let me give you a real example about being in relationship with God. When you're connected to God, this relationship guides you naturally. Your relationship guides you even in natural relationships—your partner can do one thing and make your good day a bad day because you're connected.
When you're holding hands, you're in a relationship with God. Now start walking. As you both walk, God is leading. As long as I'm obedient and willing, God can take me wherever He needs to take me. But here's the thing: I have to move when God is moving. I have to go when God says go. I have to let them go when God says let them go. When God says, "Remove this," I have to remove it because God is taking me somewhere and I have to trust His leadership.
But here's what happens a lot of the time. God wants to go one way, and we want to go another way. God is leading, and we're like: "God, I want to go this way. I had fun over there. You can pull me, don't worry about it. I want to go because I had fun." God pulls. We say: "God, I don't want to go this way." God pulls harder. We say: "God, I don't want to..." We're resisting. We're not trusting.
How many of our relationships with God look like that last one? You're not walking—God's dragging you. You're trying to catch up, losing your balance because you haven't learned to trust God. But when you learn to trust God, you say: "God, lead me. God, even if I can't see where I'm going, even if I don't know what's happening, God, I trust you. I don't know where you're taking me, but you said you will never leave me nor forsake me. I know, God, you're going to keep me safe. Why? Because you're faithful. You're faithful in all your ways. You're good."
I want to speak to anybody in the room who may be in a place of saying: "You know what, I don't have a relationship with God the way that I need to. I'm not talking about through the church. I'm talking about with your Creator."
If you don't have a relationship with God the way that you need to, I'm going to tell you right now—and you don't have to tell me—you feel alone. It's a lonely thing to be separate from your Creator. You came from somewhere. If you're here and you feel like: "Man, God, I need to be connected to you. I'm tired of feeling like I have nowhere to go, no one to talk to"—maybe you're feeling that because you haven't learned to actually trust in God yet.
If that's you and you're saying: "Pastor, I want to submit to God. I want to receive faith. I want a real relationship with God." I'm not going to make you say anything. But if today is the day you realize you need a real relationship with God, I want you to come and receive faith. Come and say: "God, I want a real relationship. I'm not just looking for religion. I want to walk with you. I want to have a real connection. I want to know that you've got me. I want to know that you're faithful. I want to know you for myself. I want to have a real, healthy relationship with you, God."
Also, if you're looking for a church home, you can come at this time.
