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Connected by scripture or shared themes.
What do you say to yourself when you talk to yourself? Everybody does this—the ongoing self-talk, the things you say to yourself over and over again in your mind. For many people, unfortunately, this becomes a negative loop. You continue to think about things that are not helpful and are often harmful.
Consider these common examples:
The negative loop continues, and the question becomes urgent: What do you say when you talk to yourself?
The reason this question matters is because what you say to yourself matters more than you can imagine. Scripture tells us in Proverbs 4:23:
Be careful how you think; your life is shaped by your thoughts.
Psychologists call this the law of cognition: what you think impacts what you believe, which impacts how you feel, which impacts what you do. Your life is always moving in the direction of your strongest thoughts.
Dr. Paul David Tripp, an author and pastor, said something profound: "No one is more influential in your life than you are, because no one talks to you more than you do." The problem is, sadly, some of you are talking yourself into a life that you hate.
Two foundational truths must be recognized: Your thoughts have incredible power, and you have incredible power over your thoughts.
The apostle Paul explained this in Romans 8:5-6:
Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind governed by the flesh is death, is darkness, is destruction. But the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.
If you find yourself hurting, broken, or discouraged, could it be that your mind is set on the things of this world instead of the things of God? When you set your mind on God and the things of your spirit, you find life and peace in all that you do.
At its root, we must understand that humans have a negativity bias—we are biased toward what is negative. Neuroscience shows us that negative events imprint on our brains more quickly and linger longer than positive ones.
This plays out everywhere:
When we become chronically negative, we enter a constant state of fight or flight. God designed our brains to release cortisol in stressful situations—that's good at first. It makes us alert, focused, and ready to deal with a problem. But when we become chronically negative and stuck in an ongoing negative loop, we always feel like we're in danger. We always feel like there is a threat.
When most of what you see online is negative, most of what your friends say is negative, most of what you say to yourself is negative, and most of what you hear about in the news is negative—you are creating negative neural pathways. When you think a thought once, it's easier to think that thought again. When you focus on the negative repeatedly, hang around negative people, are surrounded by criticism, and never think the best but always think the worst, negativity becomes a habit. It becomes your default posture:
The news you consume, the shows you watch, the lyrics to the music you play over and over, the social media you consume, the people you spend time around—they all create this inner script that directs your life.
We all are prone to negativity in specific ways. If you cannot define it, you cannot defeat it. There are four major categories:
Relational cynicism is a general distrust for people and their motives. It's the belief that you can't trust people, they're going to take advantage of you, everyone is out for themselves. No matter what you do, they're looking out for their interests. Nobody's really generous or benevolent.
According to experts, this cynicism is generally a reflection of how you feel about yourself. When you distrust the motives of others, it often reveals that you don't really like your own motives.
Negative filtering is seeing only what's wrong, finding the worst possible thing to point out, overlooking what's good and right. You assume the worst possible outcome:
Absolute thinking is polarized, all-or-nothing, black-and-white thinking:
This type of thinking has become increasingly common. The attitude becomes: "They think that so screw them, and I'm right." Just because you are right about something doesn't mean you're righteous.
Blaming is believing that you're always a victim. The reason you're where you are is because someone else did something that got in your way, took your opportunity, or didn't give you a chance. You feel you don't have any control over what's happening to you—you're just a victim of life and circumstances, and the world is stacked against you.
If you find yourself constantly jealous, critical, discontent, assuming the worst, hard on other people, hard on yourself, or negative about everything—can you change? Can you shift from a chronically negative mindset to one full of faith that reflects the heart and character of God?
The answer is yes, you can—but it's not easy.
A TED Talk study presented an imaginary surgical procedure to two groups with essentially the same odds but presented differently:
Then researchers tried switching the narratives:
This proves that you can change your perspective, but changing from negative to positive is not natural and not accidental. You might need supernatural help from God and intentional work on your end. It really matters because your thoughts are more powerful than you can imagine, and you have more power over your thoughts than you think you do.
To see how to practically change, look at one of the most powerful illustrations of the mind: David in the Old Testament. He shows us what to do when you are blindsided by an avalanche of negativity.
In 1 Samuel 30, David's situation was catastrophically bad. David and his troops came home from battle and discovered that an enemy force had burned their homes and kidnapped their wives and children. The situation got worse when his own men decided to turn on him and talked of stoning him.
Scripture tells us:
When David and his men reached Ziklag, they found it destroyed by fire and their wives and sons and daughters taken captive. So David and his men wept aloud until they had no strength left to weep. And David understandably was greatly distressed because the men were talking of stoning him; each one was bitter in spirit because of his sons and daughters.
Some of you may feel close to this right now—hurting so deeply, so much pain, so much anxiety, so much fear. And in the middle of his worst and lowest moment, scripture says this:
But David found strength in the Lord his God.
In the middle of an avalanche of negativity, he found strength in the Lord his God. The King James version translates it this way: In the middle of his darkest moment, David encouraged himself in the Lord his God.
Some of you in a world of chronic negativity, it's time for you to learn to encourage yourself in the Lord.
We don't know exactly what David said to himself, but Scripture tells us what he said other times—and it's very likely what he said in that moment. Look at Psalm 103:1, where David was encouraging himself in the Lord:
Praise the Lord, my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
David was talking to himself—not praying to God in the usual sense, but commanding his own soul to praise God. He continued:
Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits. The one who forgives your sins and heals your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies you with good things.
David was reminding himself: "Hey, remember—he anointed you as king. He chose you. He set you apart. He delivered you from the lion and the bear. He gave you the faith and courage to stand up to Goliath. Remember that he never leaves you, that he never forsakes you. Remember that he protected you from Saul."
Then in verse 8 of the same chapter, David spoke this truth to his own soul:
The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.
David wasn't the first to speak truth about God's character. He was actually copying God himself, who first declared these things in Exodus 34. What's remarkable is that when things got difficult, David didn't have to search for a Bible verse—he had already hidden God's Word in his heart. He encouraged himself in the Lord by repeating the same truths over and over again.
One of the greatest tools for encouraging yourself is to start meditating on God's Word. The Hebrew word translated as "meditate" can also mean "ruminate"—much like a cow does with grass. A cow takes a mouthful of grass, chews it thoroughly, swallows it, brings it back up, and chews it again to extract every bit of nutrition. Similarly, when you ruminate on scripture, you chew on it spiritually, getting every bit of nourishment from God's Word over and over again.
When you find yourself in a tight situation, you don't have to search for a verse because you've already hidden one in your heart. David said, "The Lord is slow to anger. He's compassionate, he's gracious," because he had been meditating on these truths.
In recent weeks, I experienced a very low spot—occupationally burned out with real mental challenges. During this time, I ruminated on Romans 15:13: "May the God of all hope fill you with joy and peace as you trust in him so that you may overflow with hope by the power of his Holy Spirit."
I meditated on this verse repeatedly: May the God of what? May the God of hope, hope. He's a God of hope. I need his joy—the joy of the Lord is my strength. I need his peace—the peace that surpasses all understanding. May the God of hope fill me with joy and peace as I trust in him. As I trusted in the Lord with all my heart, not leaning on my own understanding, but acknowledging him in all my ways, he made my paths straight.
As I meditated on this scripture over and over again, I tell you—and Amy will tell you—that I'm different today. Changed. Healed. Whole. Full of joy, full of power, full of strength, full in victory. My mind is different. The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and joy and peace.
Some of you right now need to take a negativity fast—a fast from whatever is freaking you out. Consider what's draining your soul:
Your thoughts are incredibly powerful, and you have power over your thoughts.
Earlier we discussed four major categories where negativity thrives. Here are spiritual truths you can ruminate on for each:
For Cynicism:
With God's help, I will get rid of all bitterness and skepticism. I choose to believe the best about others and be kind, compassionate, and loving. I will love and forgive others as Jesus has loved and forgiven me.
For Negative Filtering:
God, by your power, I take every thought captive and make it obedient to the truth of Christ. Because you're good, I choose to think on what's good, right, true, helpful, and worthy of praise. As I trust in you, your peace will guard my heart, soul and mind in Christ Jesus.
For Absolute Thinking:
As Jesus loved and accepted me, I will love and accept others. Rather than always being right, I'm called to always be loving. Rather than just making a point, I choose to make a difference. In humility, I choose to love others above myself.
For Victimhood and Blame:
God has given me a life and a mind of my own. By his grace, I will own my choices and choose God's best for me. I've been given everything I need to accomplish everything God wants me to do. In Christ, by his power, by his blood, by his stripes, by his spirit, I will overcome. I am an overcomer by the blood of the lamb and by the words of this testimony.
The mind governed by the flesh brings death, destruction, darkness, and negativity. That comes from our spiritual enemy, the father of lies, who comes to steal, kill and destroy. But Jesus said, "I've come that you may have life and life to the full."
You face a choice: Will you be swept up by the latest gossip and lower yourself to the lowest common denominator of popular opinion? Or will you stand up for something that brings glory to God?
Don't be a victim of what goes on in the world. Choose to see where God's working. Choose to look for the good in people. Choose to be loving and kind and full of grace. Your thoughts have incredible power, and you have incredible power over your thoughts.
We will not be conformed to the patterns of this world ruled by the princes and powers of darkness. Instead, we'll be transformed by the renewing of our mind, so we can test and approve what God's will is—good, perfect, and pleasing.
If you feel stuck in a negativity loop and need help out, Jesus came for you. He is the sinless Son of God who came that we may have life and life to the full. He didn't come for those who are perfect or righteous. He came for the sinners.
We have all sinned. We've done things wrong. We've hurt people. Our sin separates us from God. But God in his love sent Jesus—perfect in every way, the innocent sacrifice. He died on a cross, and God raised him from the dead, so that anyone who believes in Jesus, who turns to him, will have their sins forgiven and be made brand new.
Today is the day of your salvation. If you want his grace, if you want forgiveness of your sins, if you surrender your life to Jesus, call on him. He hears your prayers. He forgives your sins. He makes you brand new.
Heavenly Father, forgive my sins. Jesus, save me. Be first in my life. Heal me. Forgive me. Fill me with your Spirit so I could know you and show your love, do your will in all that I do. My life is not mine. I give it to you, Jesus. Thank you for new life. I surrender mine. In Jesus name I pray.
What do you say to yourself when you talk to yourself? Everybody does this—the ongoing self-talk, the things you say to yourself over and over again in your mind. For many people, unfortunately, this becomes a negative loop. You continue to think about things that are not helpful and are often harmful.
Consider these common examples:
The negative loop continues, and the question becomes urgent: What do you say when you talk to yourself?
The reason this question matters is because what you say to yourself matters more than you can imagine. Scripture tells us in Proverbs 4:23:
Be careful how you think; your life is shaped by your thoughts.
Psychologists call this the law of cognition: what you think impacts what you believe, which impacts how you feel, which impacts what you do. Your life is always moving in the direction of your strongest thoughts.
Dr. Paul David Tripp, an author and pastor, said something profound: "No one is more influential in your life than you are, because no one talks to you more than you do." The problem is, sadly, some of you are talking yourself into a life that you hate.
Two foundational truths must be recognized: Your thoughts have incredible power, and you have incredible power over your thoughts.
The apostle Paul explained this in Romans 8:5-6:
Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind governed by the flesh is death, is darkness, is destruction. But the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.
If you find yourself hurting, broken, or discouraged, could it be that your mind is set on the things of this world instead of the things of God? When you set your mind on God and the things of your spirit, you find life and peace in all that you do.
At its root, we must understand that humans have a negativity bias—we are biased toward what is negative. Neuroscience shows us that negative events imprint on our brains more quickly and linger longer than positive ones.
This plays out everywhere:
When we become chronically negative, we enter a constant state of fight or flight. God designed our brains to release cortisol in stressful situations—that's good at first. It makes us alert, focused, and ready to deal with a problem. But when we become chronically negative and stuck in an ongoing negative loop, we always feel like we're in danger. We always feel like there is a threat.
When most of what you see online is negative, most of what your friends say is negative, most of what you say to yourself is negative, and most of what you hear about in the news is negative—you are creating negative neural pathways. When you think a thought once, it's easier to think that thought again. When you focus on the negative repeatedly, hang around negative people, are surrounded by criticism, and never think the best but always think the worst, negativity becomes a habit. It becomes your default posture:
The news you consume, the shows you watch, the lyrics to the music you play over and over, the social media you consume, the people you spend time around—they all create this inner script that directs your life.
We all are prone to negativity in specific ways. If you cannot define it, you cannot defeat it. There are four major categories:
Relational cynicism is a general distrust for people and their motives. It's the belief that you can't trust people, they're going to take advantage of you, everyone is out for themselves. No matter what you do, they're looking out for their interests. Nobody's really generous or benevolent.
According to experts, this cynicism is generally a reflection of how you feel about yourself. When you distrust the motives of others, it often reveals that you don't really like your own motives.
Negative filtering is seeing only what's wrong, finding the worst possible thing to point out, overlooking what's good and right. You assume the worst possible outcome:
Absolute thinking is polarized, all-or-nothing, black-and-white thinking:
This type of thinking has become increasingly common. The attitude becomes: "They think that so screw them, and I'm right." Just because you are right about something doesn't mean you're righteous.
Blaming is believing that you're always a victim. The reason you're where you are is because someone else did something that got in your way, took your opportunity, or didn't give you a chance. You feel you don't have any control over what's happening to you—you're just a victim of life and circumstances, and the world is stacked against you.
If you find yourself constantly jealous, critical, discontent, assuming the worst, hard on other people, hard on yourself, or negative about everything—can you change? Can you shift from a chronically negative mindset to one full of faith that reflects the heart and character of God?
The answer is yes, you can—but it's not easy.
A TED Talk study presented an imaginary surgical procedure to two groups with essentially the same odds but presented differently:
Then researchers tried switching the narratives:
This proves that you can change your perspective, but changing from negative to positive is not natural and not accidental. You might need supernatural help from God and intentional work on your end. It really matters because your thoughts are more powerful than you can imagine, and you have more power over your thoughts than you think you do.
To see how to practically change, look at one of the most powerful illustrations of the mind: David in the Old Testament. He shows us what to do when you are blindsided by an avalanche of negativity.
In 1 Samuel 30, David's situation was catastrophically bad. David and his troops came home from battle and discovered that an enemy force had burned their homes and kidnapped their wives and children. The situation got worse when his own men decided to turn on him and talked of stoning him.
Scripture tells us:
When David and his men reached Ziklag, they found it destroyed by fire and their wives and sons and daughters taken captive. So David and his men wept aloud until they had no strength left to weep. And David understandably was greatly distressed because the men were talking of stoning him; each one was bitter in spirit because of his sons and daughters.
Some of you may feel close to this right now—hurting so deeply, so much pain, so much anxiety, so much fear. And in the middle of his worst and lowest moment, scripture says this:
But David found strength in the Lord his God.
In the middle of an avalanche of negativity, he found strength in the Lord his God. The King James version translates it this way: In the middle of his darkest moment, David encouraged himself in the Lord his God.
Some of you in a world of chronic negativity, it's time for you to learn to encourage yourself in the Lord.
We don't know exactly what David said to himself, but Scripture tells us what he said other times—and it's very likely what he said in that moment. Look at Psalm 103:1, where David was encouraging himself in the Lord:
Praise the Lord, my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
David was talking to himself—not praying to God in the usual sense, but commanding his own soul to praise God. He continued:
Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits. The one who forgives your sins and heals your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies you with good things.
David was reminding himself: "Hey, remember—he anointed you as king. He chose you. He set you apart. He delivered you from the lion and the bear. He gave you the faith and courage to stand up to Goliath. Remember that he never leaves you, that he never forsakes you. Remember that he protected you from Saul."
Then in verse 8 of the same chapter, David spoke this truth to his own soul:
The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.
David wasn't the first to speak truth about God's character. He was actually copying God himself, who first declared these things in Exodus 34. What's remarkable is that when things got difficult, David didn't have to search for a Bible verse—he had already hidden God's Word in his heart. He encouraged himself in the Lord by repeating the same truths over and over again.
One of the greatest tools for encouraging yourself is to start meditating on God's Word. The Hebrew word translated as "meditate" can also mean "ruminate"—much like a cow does with grass. A cow takes a mouthful of grass, chews it thoroughly, swallows it, brings it back up, and chews it again to extract every bit of nutrition. Similarly, when you ruminate on scripture, you chew on it spiritually, getting every bit of nourishment from God's Word over and over again.
When you find yourself in a tight situation, you don't have to search for a verse because you've already hidden one in your heart. David said, "The Lord is slow to anger. He's compassionate, he's gracious," because he had been meditating on these truths.
In recent weeks, I experienced a very low spot—occupationally burned out with real mental challenges. During this time, I ruminated on Romans 15:13: "May the God of all hope fill you with joy and peace as you trust in him so that you may overflow with hope by the power of his Holy Spirit."
I meditated on this verse repeatedly: May the God of what? May the God of hope, hope. He's a God of hope. I need his joy—the joy of the Lord is my strength. I need his peace—the peace that surpasses all understanding. May the God of hope fill me with joy and peace as I trust in him. As I trusted in the Lord with all my heart, not leaning on my own understanding, but acknowledging him in all my ways, he made my paths straight.
As I meditated on this scripture over and over again, I tell you—and Amy will tell you—that I'm different today. Changed. Healed. Whole. Full of joy, full of power, full of strength, full in victory. My mind is different. The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and joy and peace.
Some of you right now need to take a negativity fast—a fast from whatever is freaking you out. Consider what's draining your soul:
Your thoughts are incredibly powerful, and you have power over your thoughts.
Earlier we discussed four major categories where negativity thrives. Here are spiritual truths you can ruminate on for each:
For Cynicism:
With God's help, I will get rid of all bitterness and skepticism. I choose to believe the best about others and be kind, compassionate, and loving. I will love and forgive others as Jesus has loved and forgiven me.
For Negative Filtering:
God, by your power, I take every thought captive and make it obedient to the truth of Christ. Because you're good, I choose to think on what's good, right, true, helpful, and worthy of praise. As I trust in you, your peace will guard my heart, soul and mind in Christ Jesus.
For Absolute Thinking:
As Jesus loved and accepted me, I will love and accept others. Rather than always being right, I'm called to always be loving. Rather than just making a point, I choose to make a difference. In humility, I choose to love others above myself.
For Victimhood and Blame:
God has given me a life and a mind of my own. By his grace, I will own my choices and choose God's best for me. I've been given everything I need to accomplish everything God wants me to do. In Christ, by his power, by his blood, by his stripes, by his spirit, I will overcome. I am an overcomer by the blood of the lamb and by the words of this testimony.
The mind governed by the flesh brings death, destruction, darkness, and negativity. That comes from our spiritual enemy, the father of lies, who comes to steal, kill and destroy. But Jesus said, "I've come that you may have life and life to the full."
You face a choice: Will you be swept up by the latest gossip and lower yourself to the lowest common denominator of popular opinion? Or will you stand up for something that brings glory to God?
Don't be a victim of what goes on in the world. Choose to see where God's working. Choose to look for the good in people. Choose to be loving and kind and full of grace. Your thoughts have incredible power, and you have incredible power over your thoughts.
We will not be conformed to the patterns of this world ruled by the princes and powers of darkness. Instead, we'll be transformed by the renewing of our mind, so we can test and approve what God's will is—good, perfect, and pleasing.
If you feel stuck in a negativity loop and need help out, Jesus came for you. He is the sinless Son of God who came that we may have life and life to the full. He didn't come for those who are perfect or righteous. He came for the sinners.
We have all sinned. We've done things wrong. We've hurt people. Our sin separates us from God. But God in his love sent Jesus—perfect in every way, the innocent sacrifice. He died on a cross, and God raised him from the dead, so that anyone who believes in Jesus, who turns to him, will have their sins forgiven and be made brand new.
Today is the day of your salvation. If you want his grace, if you want forgiveness of your sins, if you surrender your life to Jesus, call on him. He hears your prayers. He forgives your sins. He makes you brand new.
Heavenly Father, forgive my sins. Jesus, save me. Be first in my life. Heal me. Forgive me. Fill me with your Spirit so I could know you and show your love, do your will in all that I do. My life is not mine. I give it to you, Jesus. Thank you for new life. I surrender mine. In Jesus name I pray.
